ReDetox: Day Eight (or: Enter the Cravings)

Wellllll they finally hit.  The cravings.  The cranky-making cravings for harmful-foods.  And I straight up choose to blame NewBoss, because he microwaved cheese-and-bean burritos for lunch and they smelled like heaven to me.

::sigh::

But then my dinner kicked some swift and serious ass, so that's okay:

Barramundi!

It was one of those, "What do we have available?" sorts of dinners.  I knew we had a base line of "fish and salad", because I'd written such on the meal plan, but we had no idea what we were going to do with "fish and salad".

As it turns out, Nathan slathered the fish with lime juice, cardamom, and sumac and threw it on the grill (that's the sumac making it such a lurid pink), while I threw together a bunch of avocados, cumin, lime juice, cilantro, and green onions, and mashed them up to serve on top of the fish.  Then we tossed some baby carrots and mandarin slices into a butter lettuce salad, and finished it off with an oil-and-vinegar (olive and apple cider, respectively) dressing (further flavored with salt, pepper, garlic, parsley, cardamom and sumac).

It was shockingly delicious for a meal that started with, "I don't know, what do we have on hand?" and took less than half an hour to put together.

ReDetox: Day Seven (or: Reconstruct My Deconstruction)

Dinner tonight was kabobs:

Made by Nathan, because he is The Best.

Specifically, dinner tonight was pork, apple, and onion kabobs.  If that sounds an awful lot like it might have its roots in dinners from earlier this week, well... you're not wrong.

Anyway.

The best part of today was going over to Crystal's house to play.

Crystal makes jewelry.  Not just any jewelry, mind you- totally kick ass jewelry that has its origins in old pocket watches, butterflies, sea horses, and thousands of tiny sparkly crystals.  Amongst many other wondrous curiosities that send me in to wriggles of delight.  She has told me on multiple occasions that I am welcome to bring over bits and pieces and she will help me turn them into Awesome, so today I finally took her up on it.

Amongst the little treasures I took over was a cameo that belonged to my paternal grandmother.

CLOSE UP

I'm not really one for brooches, myself, but I do like cameos, and so I'd kept this one.  I figured Crystal would have ideas on how to turn it into a necklace.

She totally did.

"This needs green," was the first thing she said, touching the warm orange background.  "Don't you think this needs green?"

It only escalated from there.

"We could get crazy," she said, that special Frenetic Artist Gleam in her eyes.  "We could... it might be too much, but... it could be awesome..." she rummaged in a little sack and produced a tiny ivory something with a triumphant flourish.  "I have camels!"

I gasped.

"Yes!  It totally needs a camel!"

It delighted me beyond reason to utilize a camel in a piece of jewelry that has to do with my grandmother, because she was such a world-traveler.  I knew she would utterly approve of turning a conservative cameo brooch into a flamboyant piece of wearable art.

Crystal took better pictures, but I couldn't wait to share...

Cheers to you, Jimmie, one year after embarking on the Greatest Adventure of all...

ReDetox: Days Five and Six (or: Under Pressure)

Yesterday was a gorgeous day, temps in the eighties and not a cloud in the sky.  So what was I doing?

Cleaning the house.

And then I looked around at all my animals and saw that they were every one of them sleeping in the sun, so I went outside to clean the house.

Which is to say, I pressure-washed the fence.  Behold the glorious difference:

Gentle Readers, life in the PNW does lend itself towards mold.

It took me about two hours to do the whole thing, at which point I felt I'd earned the right to read in the shade for a while, which I did.

Dinner was New York strip and roasted cauliflower (seasoned with salt, pepper, and parsley).  It was obscenely tasty.  Also I had my first craving- it was for honey, of course.  But no crankiness yet.

Today's Grand Adventure was putting my brand new lead climbing skills to good use*.  KB and I spent a good two hours working the overhang, and by the end of it I was exhausted.  Hell, by the end of the first route I was pretty damn tired.  Overhang kicks my ass, because I don't boulder like I should.  Needless to say, by the end of our session I was covered in sweat, shaking, and had raw hands- but I felt amazing, way more challenged that I've been in a long time, and it was in this truly excellent mood that I made my way home to start dinner.

 Dinner was to be another sort of hash, this one served over the ever-useful spaghetti squash.
 

My Katie taught me about this tasty fellow.

No sweet potatoes or yams this time, however; I was feeling more Italian than Mexican, and that meant fresh herbs.

Rosemary!  From my very own garden!

After the spaghetti squash had gone in the oven, I warmed some olive oil on medium-high, then tossed in an onion, garlic, rosemary, and thyme.  It smelled like friggin' heaven.  Sauteed that business until the onions began to soften...

Mmm, fragrant!

...then tossed in ground beef with some salt and pepper.  Easy peasy.  Browned it up, then covered it and let it simmer for about eight minutes (because that was how long the squash had left to bake).  Once all the timers had dinged, I combined and scarfed, because I was friggin' hungry.

Photo-bombed by a pig.

And now it is well past my bedtime, but I still need to get my guitar-practice on.  Which should be interesting, considering the state of my hands...







*old school (/eidetic) readers might be saying, "Brand new?  I thought she took that class last year..." and you'd be right; I did take that class last year.  And then I almost immediately thereafter jacked up my ankle, and never really practiced what I'd learned- and so I took a refresher course this past Saturday, so as to be more useful during outdoor climbing adventures.

ReDetox: Day Four (or: Palms and Coconuts)

I went to visit my Katie this evening, and it was the sort of visit that has no aim beyond being together.  As such, we went a'wandering the streets of Portland, soaking up the lingering rays of sun as they gave a final dazzle to glass storefronts, and keeping an eye out any adventure that might present itself.

We were not disappointed.

Psychic! declared the sign.  Katie looked at it, then at me, one expressive eyebrow raised.

"Why not?" I said.  "We've always said we were going to go to one, and we never, ever have."

So we make our way into the building, and a Brand New Experience.

Katie goes first, so I sit in the lobby, creating doodles and flipping through a book on back health.  About twenty minutes later she comes out, and it's my turn.

All I've signed up for is the basic palm-reading.  I read my own tarot cards, and I know I will not be able to keep my mouth shut if she tries to tell me something they're not actually saying.  I may be skeptical, but I have enough sense of fun (and hope) to go in with a playful spirit.  At the very least I'm hoping to be wowed by her powers of subtle observation.

Alas, it is not to be.  Even though I gamely feed her plenty of information about myself for her to turn into mystical revelations, she sticks with the basics- and they feel like rote basics, at that.  The only time she seems to go off the prompts cards playing on her eyelids is when she tells me that I will be a mother- to two healthy babies, no less.  (Query: can I get my money back when I hit menopause if I'm still child-free?)

Afterwards Katie and I head over to the Blue Moon to compare notes on our fate.  We laugh hysterically over the aspects that we have word-for-word in common, and agree that we'd make much better psychics than that.

Anyway.

I had lamb burgers on butter lettuce for dinner tonight, and for dessert I tried my hand at making coconut butter.

It's hard to make a jar of white stuff look like... anything other than a jar of white stuff.

It's mighty tasty on it's own, but I also dipped a strawberry in it (really good), and then got crazy and dipped a carrot in it (even better).  Next time I may try Melissa Joulwan's recipe.

ReDetox: Day Three (or: Porcupining the Monkey)

I had my very first experience with an acupuncture this afternoon, and I have to say, I'm a fan.  Even if there's nothing to Qi and meridians, I sure as hell got a great nap out of it.  A nap full of needles, but a restful nap, nonetheless.  The amount of ink adorning my skin might lead you to infer that I do not have any sort of needle-related hang-ups, and you'd be correct.  As such it was more interesting than freaky, especially marking how the needles felt different in different locations.  Most of the placements felt like a) nothing at all or b) a tiny pinch and then nothing at all.  The needle in my right index finger, however, sent a jolt of electricity- like a static shock- through the digit (it did the same thing upon removal).  The needle in my right wrist actually hurt a great deal, and she had to nudge it twice before it faded into the same non-awareness as the rest of the needles.  Then she placed one between my brows, and while it didn't hurt, exactly, I was quite aware of it.  The one in my hairline, however, was fine.

"Wow, my abdomen is so warm!" I marveled after she placed four needles into it.  I hadn't expected such dramatically immediate results.

"That's because I have a heater pointed towards it." I could hear the smile in her voice, and we both started giggling.

She let me be for a bit, so I could start getting into the relaxation groove, but of course my brain would not shut up (I'd left my phone and wallet, at the office and home, respectively, so I had plenty to be anxious about).  She came back in to check on me and said, "How are you doing?"

"Just trying to quiet my monkey mind," I said.

"Oh!  Here, this should help," and she put two more needles in my feet.

Sure enough, it helped.

Witchery.

Eventually I drifted off to sleep, waking twice to the soft gong that was sounding, and then when she came back into the room to de-needle me.  The first one she removed was the one between my brows, which startled me because I'd forgotten it was there.  So now we know that I am, in fact, capable of forgetting that I have about three inches of stainless steel wire poking out of my face.

Anyway.

Nathan grilled up some pork tenderloin for dinner...

Medallions!

and then I had a baked yam with coconut oil and cinnamon!

How did I live before coconut oil?

Technically the yam was supposed to be part of my dinner (and therefore done in a savory manner) but it took way longer than anticipated, so I just made it dessert.

ReDetox: Day Two (or: Sweet is as Sweet Does)

Tonight's dinner was pork chops with apples and shallots.  It had its origins in this recipe, with only a few little tweaks to make it detox-friendly (their book, by the way, is definitely worth the investment).

I sliced up two apples nice and thin, along with a nice fat shallot, and then I sautéed 'em up on medium-high in about five tablespoons of coconut oil, until the apples started to soften.

WARNING: this will start smelling heavenly in a shockingly short amount of time

While that was going on I dumped a bunch of cinnamon (and only a little bit of salt) on the pork chops, and rubbed 'em up right.  Once the apple/shallot mix was done I put it aside in a bowl (using a slotted spoon so as to leave the apple/shallot infused oil) and plunked down the meat to sear for about two minutes on each side.

Actually this step smells pretty awesome, too.

Once searing was achieved I added 1/4 cup water, brought to a simmer, then dumped the apples and shallots back on top, reduced the heat to medium, covered and let it do it's thang for about eight minutes.

Why you gotta' deprive me of my smells, lid?

And then?  We ate it alllll up!

Man, it almost ended up being just plain ol' "pork chops and shallots", because I could not stop eating the apples!  Sautéing them brought out such an incredible sweetness that I couldn't help but feel like I was doing something incredibly naughty by having them for dinner.

Tomorrow is day three.  Day three is, in my experience, when I start to get Cranky about detoxing.  Here's hoping I break that pattern...

ReDetox: Day One (or: Man, I'm Getting So Good at Starting Over)

Yes indeedy, it's that time again- time for me to take all the naughty things out of my diet in an attempt to reset my system back to "not painful".  I've made my meal plan for the month (although, like the first time, I am only committing to three weeks) and I'm psychically girded.  Speaking of the first time, I'm following the same guidelines (minus the gross powder) and cutting out All Things Inflammation Causing (since that is what's causing me so much pain right now).  I'm not sure what it was that I over-indulged (I'm leaning toward dairy or eggs or perhaps even pineapple), but in a few weeks it will be out of my system and I can start fresh.

It's amazing how much my diet has changed since that first detox- for example, I am definitely hard-core carnivore these days, to the point where I don't even really need to report what I have for breakfast each day because nine times out of ten?  It's bacon.  And my lunch?  Is leftovers from the night before.  Which means that primarily my "meal planning" consists of "dinner planning, and it is that, therefore, that I will share in the coming weeks (after this initial one, because you don't know what I had for dinner last night, after all...)

Breakfast: bacon
Snack: apples
Lunch: leftover roasted chicken and Brussels sprouts
Dinner: hash

Open wide!

Of course, "hash" doesn't tell you much, so allow me to describe how we do hash.

First you cube one sweet potato and one yam (thus neatly side-stepping the whole, "Which is which?" debate)...

I recommend using a handsome kitchen aid...

...as well as an onion (or a half- really this meal sort of comes down to "what do we have on hand right now?).  Heat some coconut oil in a dutch oven (or, you know, whatever- I used about three tablespoons this time around) and then saute the fauxtatoes for about six minutes.  Add the onions and some minced garlic (I cheated and used the jar stuff- about a teaspoon), and throw some spices on that business.  Today I used salt, black pepper, lots of cinnamon, a dash of nutmeg, plenty of cumin, and some allspice.  Feel free to add spicier stuff (chili powder, cayenne) if you're not avoiding nightshades.

Add "dutch oven" to my list of Favorite Kitchen Tools, whydon'tcha?

Saute until the onions start to go translucent (say three minutes?), then take a moment to chop up your ground beef, because that makes your life much easier, promise:

It's not NECESSARY to leave bits of onion on the knife, but it makes me feel like a rebel...

Toss it in!  Brown it up!  Once you're nearly all brown, reduce heat to about medium, cover...

True Science Fact: food tastes better when cooked in attractive pots.

...and let that business cook for about fifteen minutes or until fauxtatoes are soft, stirring occasionally.  Serve warm and scarf it up!  Sometimes, if I'm feeling bold, I'll serve it over a bed of nummy spaghetti squash, but tonight was more about laziness than boldness, so we just ate it straight.

It doesn't hurt to serve it in attractive bowls, either.

 But this is the proof that being lazy doesn't have to mean forgoing delicious!

Giving it Up

As 2012 was winding down, Nathan made the following unprompted statement:

"I'm not going to eat refined sugar or drink alcohol in 2013."

"That's great, babe," I said, because it is.  Those things are in no way good for you.  And then, because I have experience with Giving Shit Up, I added,  "But... for a whole year?  Are you sure you don't want to just start with a month?"  See, I was afraid he'd get overwhelmed and frustrated at the prospect of a whole year without these things he was accustomed to having on a daily basis, and end up not even cutting back, in the long run.

"Nope."  (Nathan does not over-think things.  It is a definite strength.)

"Okay then."  And I said I'd do it too, to support him, because I know how hard it is not to be able to indulge in what everyone else is doing.  Far, far easier to show a United Front in social situations.

So that's been going on for the past thirty-six days.  And as February drew closer I knew that I wanted to clean up my act in other ways, as well.  I'd been spending way too much time on Facebook, and was fully cognizant of the fact that I needed to cut back.

"Maybe I'll have a FB-free February," I mused, but then realized that with the impending birth of Seamonkey it's just an unreasonable expectation to imagine I won't be on there posting a zillion pictures.  No point in setting myself up to fail.  "Alright then, I'll give it up for a week.  And then after that maybe I'll just check it once or twice a week."

Satisfied with this plan, I faced Friday, February First just full of good intentions.  In fact, I woke up that morning and the very first thing to pop into my head was, Don't check Facebook!

And I didn't.  I had several urges throughout the day, but I resisted.  Same thing on Saturday, maybe a little worse.  And then it was Sunday, and Nathan and I took Isis out for a hike.  And I took an excellent shot of Nathan and all I wanted was to post it on Facebook.  And also to check things.  All the things.  People had been tagging me in things!  As I waited for Nathan in the car I said to myself,

"Self, I am a grown-ass woman.  I can check Facebook if I bloody well want to," and just as my thumb moved towards the icon, Self said,

"Seriously?  Seriously?  You can't even go three full days without checking Facebook?"

And Paranoia reared up and I put my phone away.  Because damn.

(Nathan says this looks "exactly like me".  Soooo... perhaps my Best Self Portrait Ever?)

There is addiction in my family.  I've known this since I was a little girl, and thus I've always kept a keen eye on my own addictive tendencies.  Any time I feel I'm getting too reliant on something, I quit cold turkey.  Alcohol, video games, recreational drugs- all things I've walked away from just to prove to myself that I could, just to prove that nothing rules me but myself.  I know I'm lucky that I can do this- not everyone can- and my paranoia that someday I won't be able to is probably unfounded.  But maybe it's not- maybe it's only because of my long practice of giving things up, dating back to my teenage years (soda) that I'm still able to do so.  Who knows?

Nathan got into the car and I related my little conversation with Self.

"So what you're telling me is that giving up Facebook is harder than giving up sugar?"

Apparently so.

(Although looking back at when I initially had to give up all forms of sugar, perhaps not...)

Hard Reset: Day Four (or: Climbing by Comittee)

It was a good day for my climbing- my boss let me go a half hour early, so I showed up at the gym at 3:35, and who should walk in five minutes later but my climbing buddy KB, who hadn't initially planned on climbing today but had changed his mind at the last minute.  Which meant I had a partner, which meant I got in plenty of routes.  KB is really good at coaching, which I personally find very helpful, and when our other (new) climbing friend G showed up we invited her into our group so she wouldn't be stuck on the auto belay the whole time.  Anyway, KB challenged me to try a 5.11-, and so I did.  I knew I'd made the right decision, when, as I was tying in, my most favorite song in the world came on (which, coincidentally, is how I know approximately how long it took me to finish the climb).  I fell off the wall a few times on the first move, but eventually I managed to slooooowly work my way up, and I was super grateful that KB, G, and Crystal (one of the workers) were giving me directions as I went.  I most definitely wouldn't have made it if not for them.  As it was I think I took one fall and one take (after the initial getting-on-the-wall shenanigans), but by golly I did it.  So yay for me.  I can't wait to try it again, this time with the goal of not taking any falls.

Tonight we decided to be lazy and eat leftovers rather than make the Czech meatballs the meal plan called for (we'll eat them tomorrow!), and then we both settled in for some algebra-refreshers.  Nathan's decided to go back to school, you see, and wants to brush back up on his math skills before applying.  Which means that every few minutes I am treated to an excited ramble about how awesome math is, along with an example of whatever new equation he's remembered how to solve.

(Actually I'm super excited about him going back to school, and super excited he's so enthusiastic about math.  We were both a little worried that maybe his brain had over-thirty-and-out-of-school-for-ten-years atrophy.)

And now here is a sketch of my kitty Kink, for whom I will be celebrating an eleventh birthday next Tuesday:

Hard Reset: Day Three (or: Blisters, and Other Hazards of Running)

So I've been meaning to get back into running for a while now, and today my Katie called me on it- so for our "hang out times" I went down to Portland to run her daily route with her (and by "run with her" I mean "shuffle and wheeze along as she kindly keeps her pace down".)

The running wasn't so bad as I'd feared, actually- from a cardiovascular standpoint I could have run (okay, let's face it- I was jogging don't judge) the whole thing, but from a tenderfoot standpoint, my blisters started demanding walking about two miles in (if it was even that long).

Fortunately my blisters tend to callous quickly, so I'm sure I'll be able to shuffle the entire 3.7 miles before too long, and then I can work on speed.

Aside from being sad about blisters, I was also sad about this:

...if only I were older, and had better insurance...

Seriously, other drivers; you had literally two entire blocks of empty curb you could have parked by.  Literally.  And you chose to not only park next to my car, but to park so close that I couldn't just pull out like a normal person.  This is like that time I was the only person in the theater and then another person came in and sat right next to me and who does that?!

But then I came home and there was a happy thing waiting for me: paleo Scotch Eggs!  Holy wow!  They are amazing and my husband is the best.

Hard Reset: Day Two (or: Twenty-Four-Plus Hours Back on Track)

Okay, so maybe this is just Day Two Hubris speaking, but I get the feeling I am going have a much easier time with this than I did the last time I detoxed.  I'm sure a lot of that feeling has to do with not having to consume that nasty RepairVite, as well as being allowed eggs and nuts (speaking of which- eggs whisked with coconut aminos and fried in coconut oil?  Holy stars.  It does not taste like it should be allowed...).  But I also think it has something to do with the fact that I know I can  make it through- I've done it before (and stricter), therefore I can do it again.  Also, I'm a lot better educated on all things Paleo/Primal now, which means I have access to recipes that October Me barely had an inkling of.  (Also also, I totally made a meal plan for the entire month this time, rather than trying to do it week-by-week, whilst feeling deprived-and-sulky.)

We made pad thai for dinner, with it's roots in Melissa Joulwan's recipe.  I changed it up by omitting the snap peas (if I was eating normally I wouldn't quibble over their primal status- but it's Avoid All [even probably-not-that-bad] Legumes time, so I just left 'em out), upped the onions to one and a half (because I had a half one already prepped and I'm nothing if not thrifty also who doesn't love sweet onions?), and used almonds instead of sunflower seeds in the sunshine sauce (also put in the juice of one full lime because waste not, want not).  Furthermore, I threw in a butt load of scallions and slivered almonds at the last minute, because contrasting textures = nice to the palate.

(PS It definitely came to four servings for my household, so keep that in mind...)

One of the best things about this recipe was the leftover coconut milk, which I totally mixed up with orange juice for a delicious desert-y treat.  Hooray!

Furthermore, I totally got up when the alarm went off (even tho' it went off at 0600 instead of 0630), so I am simply full of sticking-to-it-self-righteousness.  You know, at the end of day two.  (Hey, I get my triumphs when and where I can.  It makes life ever so much more pleasant.)

Also, have an elf.  A dude elf, no less.

...with a... freakishly large left eye?  Huh.  Whoops.

Hard Reset: Day One (or: Transit)

First of all, here is my homage to the transit of Venus:

Colors later?  Survey says yes.

Day one went pretty well- if we completely ignore the fact that I accidentally ate something prepared with butter.  Whoops.  So I guess my hard reset technically began at noon today!  Ah well- what's starting a New Thing if I don't immediately screw it up?

Dinner was garlic-lime scallops with a side of broccoli, and friggin' delicious.

In other news, I am extremely grateful for the other people at the rock gym- I was in fine spirits today, so I stayed later than I have in a long time, and when I told Hanz I was going to do one more route, he challenged me to do three more.  I asked (jokingly) if they could be 5.6s, and he said they could be 5.7s.  So I said sure, why not?  And then I did a 5.7- and then switched over to bouldering, and did three routes (two 0s and a 1, which both count as 5.10s in terms of difficulty, or so I am assured), then did pullups until I couldn't anymore.  Which is to say, I blew my arms out for the first time in months, and it felt great.

Talk about an excellent transit.

All Systems Are Go

Family left today.  Sad panda.

But Isis came home!  Huzzay!

(Not actually representative of how happy she was to see us- and vice versa)

 In other news, we are fully geared up for tomorrow's Hard Reset (as I'm calling the four-week detox).   Nathan is going primal, but I (along with some supportive friends) am going strict paleo- plus a little beyond that, in my case.  Here is my lit of Nos:

processed foods
grains
legumes
dairy
soy
sugars (except I think I may bring honey back in after two weeks)
nightshade veggies
high fructose fruits
alcohol
caffeine (which I originally forgot to add to the list, since I only ever get caffeine via chocolate, anyway...)

Also I'm re-establishing my discipline in these areas:

bed at 2200
nightly journaling (my version of meditation/prayer)
morning yoga (coupled with no hitting snooze)
no more than three hours a week of television

 Of course, in anticipation of this Hard Reset I've been...um, well, let's just say I'm probably going to feel sick as a dog tomorrow.  Which I guess means I'll really be able to tell the difference come July 4th...

Mid Year's Resolution

Basically what you need to know is that I feel like crap.  I've been feeling like crap for several weeks now, but it's gotten especially bad in this past week.  Moreover, my athletic performance has gone down and my brain is foggy and just plain dumb.  Even Nathan has commented on the number of times I've been not just wrong but grossly wrong this past week.

This is the face of a dumb person.  Who is in physical sadness and cannot do her pullups the way she wants to.

The fact that all of this coincides with me not eating properly (strawberry milkshakes are in season and I am weak) does not exactly strike me as a coincidence.  Especially when paired with some of the more... obvious physical symptoms.  But I'd just gotten into a rut where I felt so bad I didn't even care that I was making myself feel worse (emotional upheaval sabotage!).  My Petulant Self said, "If we're going to feel like crap anyway, we may as well have some more of this delicious dairy," and then she did.  Daily. (I can handle limited dairy- daily milkshakes are not limited, never mind the added sugar, etc)  The problem with that mind set is, of course, that if you keep doing they bad thing because you've already done it, well... you'll never break the cycle.  And so I've made the decision that it's time to snap myself back into clean eating.

I'm already doing better with the diet, but come June 5th I will be stepping it up to a 30 day full-on correction.  I won't be quite so strict as I was during my elimination diet, (plus no RepairVite so heck yeah to that) but I will definitely be going strict paleo for the month.  The theory is that I will work out my meal plan ahead of time (because life is just easier that way), and, of course, I will share some (or perhaps all) of it with you guys, to keep me accountable.

More entries about what I eat?!  I'm sure you can't wait!

Detox: Day Twenty-One (or: Free At Last!)

Here it is, my final "detox" entry (knock on wood).  Aren't you excited?  I know I sure as heck am, as I plan on allowing myself a single piece of chocolate this evening to celebrate my return to the world of (new)normal eating.  And I'm definitely going out on some decent food:

Breakfast: four pieces of Canadian bacon (aka ham) (eaten on the go, because we had places to be)
Lunch: lots of raspberries and strawberries
Dinner: lamb burgers topped with mashed up avocados seasoned with cilantro, cumin, lime juice and bacon.  So very Mexican-y and delicious!

Just wrap and enjoy!

Now, as much as I'd like to just jump back in to all my old favorite foods at once (baked potato stuffed with butter and mushrooms and cheese and sour cream and hell some chili while we're at it?  Yesplease!) the reality of the situation is that I'm now to ease myself back into naughty foods, taking it slowly so I can process how my body... well, processes each new thing.  I debated for a long time on what to go back to first, and (as you may have guessed) sugars won out.  Hence the piece of dark chocolate this evening.  Tomorrow morning it will be a smoothie with some high-glycemic fruits (hello banana base!) and my vanilla coconut milk.  In a few days, who knows?  Maybe grains.  Maybe eggs.  We'll see how I feel...

In the meantime, expect this blog to get back to more fictional-type writings.  I figure NaNo is a great time for me to toss out some excerpts, eh?

Detox: Day Twenty (or: Nothing But Protein!)

Today was a day I needed Much Strength, and so my menu looked like this:


Breakfast: three pieces of canadian bacon, sauteed pear
Lunch: three pieces of American bacon, handful of blackberries
Dinner: Two lamb-burgers topped with avocado and (you guessed it) more bacon!  Wrapped in romaine

Why the need for so much meat, you ask?  Well, this morning I needed physical strength to help my friends move into their new apartment (Nathan did not fortify, and thus had the very unpleasant experience of bonking later in the day) and then in the evening I needed emotional strength to deal with the Alabama/LSU game.  (which did not, I might add, end well.  There is not sunshine in Timaru at the moment... mighty Bama has struck out...)

I have to admit, tho'- there came a moment during lunch in which I thought to myself the rather blasphemous thought, "Perhaps I am getting a little sick of bacon."

Good thing tomorrow is the last day, eh?

Detox: Day Nineteen (or: Let's Pretend I Have a Mail Bag!)

A friend of mine posted this in yesterday's comments:

Teacher Jamie said...

Is bacon required? I mean...there is nothing wrong with bacon. Is it just the choice you made for breakfast most days? I guess there is little else to have for breakfast when eggs and grains are out. I would be interested to read more about the specific fruits and vegetables that are not allowed. This cleanse sounds all kinds of healthy :) Good work.

And I started to answer her in the comments, but as my answer got longer and longer I realized that I should just make it my post for today.  So here we go!

***

Bacon is not required, but I definitely need protein in the mornings (can't make it up that hill without it!), and bacon is the most delicious/convenient option for me at the moment.  I will not try to pretend that there's not a bit of, "Well if I can't have chocolate at least I can have all the bacon I want!" going on with that decision...

Once eggs are allowed back in, I expect there will be more of that, not to mention once I can have the full range of fruits again- woo smoothies!  The truth is that as much as I love bacon, it's not exactly a quickly-made breakfast, you know?  And I do tend to, um, be a bit rushed in the mornings?  Because I am bad about getting out of bed when the first alarm goes off? (this is an entirely different Bad Habit which needs breaking... but I can only handle one or two Major Projects at a time...)

I am not allowed to have any high-glycemic fruits, which is a pretty long freaking list (including things like bananas and mangos and pineapples- oh my!)  In terms of fruit it's easier to give you the ALLOWED list:

apples
pears
peaches
nectarines
berries
cherries
grapefruit (not that I've taken advantage of that one)
oranges
plums (ooo, or that one-  maybe I'll remedy that this weekend...)

Aaaaand that's about it.  Grapes maybe, but it's pushing it, so I don't.

In terms of veggies, it's the NOT ALLOWED list that is shorter, because it's limited to "nightshade vegetables" (not all of which are technically vegetables, but whatever):

peppers (including sweet and cayenne)
tomatoes
potatoes
eggplant
mushrooms

So pretty easy to avoid, really.  I mean, don't get me wrong- I love everything on that list (except eggplants, with which I have a cordial relationship) but it's not like you're going to find any of those things ACCIDENTALLY IN YOUR FOOD.  (Well, except cayenne,  maybe, as evidenced by my "oh crap" moment with my curried squash soup a couple of weeks ago...)

And there you have it, folks!  A more in-detail breakdown of my non-meat yays-and-nays (meat is all yay).  It is very healthy, and I do feel pretty damn good, but I'm also so ready for it to be over.  It's getting harder and harder to say "no" to a piece of chocolate.  At this point I'm so exhausted with behaving myself that it just seems easier to unwrap that damn piece of candy and put it in my mouth than it does to keep up the emotional effort of being disciplined.

But I can do anything for three weeks.  And I will.

(Oh hey, speaking of yay...)

Breakfast: four slices of bacon, handful of blackberries (switchin' it up- woo!)
Lunch: leftover beef-and-onion-and-garlic bidness
Snack: two mandarin oranges, a handful of blackberies
Dinner: medium-rare steak and a generous helping of mashed cauliflower (much better texture this time, as I remembered to leave out the water)

Detox: Day Eighteen (or: What Can I Say)

I do not have clever things to say this evening, as I have poured them all into today's NaNo writing (all 4000 hand-written words of it, thankyouverymuch).  As such, I am going to go curl up and read more of The Strain, which I cannot recommend highly enough.  It creeps me out so badly, but I just can't stop reading...

Breakfast: four slices of bacon, a handful of blueberries (what can I say- I like routine)
Grazing: a gazillion carrots, two mandarin oranges (what can I say- I didn't have anything to bring for lunch other than a bag of stupid carrots)
Dinner: spaghetti squash with ground beef, onion, and garlic tossed with olive oil, salt, pepper, and Jamaican allspice (what can I say- Nathan's been on an allspice kick)

Detox: Day Seventeen (or: Man I Write A Lot)

I just got done transcribing today's 3500 NaNo words, and I am so sorely tempted to just push through and match yesterday's count.  But the truth is I'm tired, and even more than I want to show off my ability to churn out words (no comment on quality of said words, mind you) I want to stop staring at the computer screen and go curl up with my husband on the couch.  But before I can do that I have to update the blog...

...and so here we are.

The very best thing about today is this:

What is that, you may ask?  That, my friends, is an empty jar which once held the dread substance RepaireVite.  I took my last dose ever this evening, and I am so incredibly stoked that I'm done with it.  Slightly confused, because it was supposedly a four-week supply, but what do I care?  I finished it all, it's all through my system, woo hoo no more gross powder!

Breakfast tomorrow is going to be just brilliant.

Speaking of which:

Breakfast: four slices of bacon and two handfuls of blueberries
Lunch: most of a giant granny smith apple (yes I know that's not a real lunch)
Snack: more blueberries
Dinner: grilled pork, onions, apple, and pear.  Nathan seasoned it all with salt, pepper, cumin, and allspice, and it was freaking fabulous.  The variety of textures was really nice, too.

Detox: Day Sixteen (or: NaNo Begins)

NaNoWriMo starts today.  Perhaps you remember my adventures with it last year?

I am a little concerned about the twin brain-drains of focusing on the detox and focusing on pounding out a minimum of 2000 words a day (that's my personal minimum- technically I only need to write 1667 to hit the 50,000 word goal) but hey- go big or go home, right?  And anyway I only have like five days left on this detox-wagon. And then?  Oh such mindless culinary delights that shall be mine!

The other concern I have is that this year I will not have the same all-hours access to my netbook as I did last year.  At first I was really worried about when I would find time to write- but then I suddenly remembered the advanced technology of pen and paper.

Yes, pen and paper, Gentle Readers!  So portable, so versatile!  So cutting edge!  I used these amazing tools during every slow moment I had at work today, and when I finally got around to transcribing my 27 hand-scribbled pages, it came out to about 3800 words.  So.  I think I'll be okay...

(although Nathan pointed out I'm going to need a much bigger notebook- and soon)

Breakfast: pieces of chicken breast fried in bacon fat, a handful of blueberries
Lunch: 5 oz tuna, mandarin, mackintosh
Snack: four pieces of bacon, handful of blackberries
Dinner: gyro meat with bacon and avocado, served on a bed of spinach and romaine