Balms for the Soul

This past weekend Nathan and I (and Isis, of course) took a long-overdue trip up to Poulsbo to see our dear dear friends, Lara and Chris (and Moose, of course).

(Isis and Moose not pictured, because they are even shorter than I am.)

The last time we'd scheduled it... well, something came up.  They understood, of course, but that is past and I was super ready  to see them again.

March is a very special month for our foursome, because March is The Birthday Month.  All Caps, because All Four of us are affected.  We like to get together sometime in the middle and celebrate- preferably as Epically as possible.  Our Epic plans for this (self-made) long weekend included doing some National Park hikes... except someone (::coughcoughmeI'mthegimpyone::) managed to aggravate her knee* to the point where anything harder than a stroll seemed like a very bad idea, indeed.

So.  We kept it low-key and instead took a two-mile "nature walk" (as Lara put it) in Twanoh State Park.  The dogs loved it, although the leisurely pace was not, perhaps, their favorite (in addition to my limitations, the guys were having Camera Bonding Time, which meant lots of stopping and fiddling).  The humans loved it, too- it was really pretty, and not at all difficult.  Sometimes it's nice not to push too hard.

These dogs are lying about how tired they are.

Moose very sweetly helps Isis out with her Heavy Chin syndrome (common amongst the block-headed pit bulls of the world).

That night we went out for some wine to celebrate the birthdays- we each had two glasses, because we are crazy-indulgent that way.

CRAZY INDULGENT.

"What's that, Jenny O?  Wine?!  What happened to 'no alcohol in 2013'?"  Yes, well, we'd already agreed waaaaay back in January that our birthdays would be Special Days on which we would indulge in sugar and alcohol if we wanted to, thus relegating those substances to "special occasion" rather than "every day".

However, I have to say that after two glasses of wine (one a Riesling, one a port), I felt like such crapola the next day that maybe I am done with wine forever.  Grape wine, anyway.  Experiments must be done re:apple wine and mead, because those are my favorites and I'm not going to make any assumptions about them.  But.  Experiments must wait until next year, I suppose.

Speaking of the next day, after a delicious paleo breakfast, Lara and I decided to get our Domestic on and make organic lip balm and bath salts (not the zombifying kind).  We made a half batch of the lip balm because we were sort of getting a feel for it in anticipation of Greater Experiments later in the year (Crafts for Christmas!  Yay!)  One thing we figured out is that although we were pleased with the results (which we put into four tiny jars and one tube) we want to use less oil and more peppermint extract next time.  Also, I'm thinking perhaps coconut oil instead of almond oil.  We shall see.

The other ingredients were honey and beeswax.

You're technically supposed to wait two hours for the balm to set before you use it, but do you think that stopped me?

No it did not.

Check us out, lovely ladies with lovely, soft, and smoochable lips!

Sorry boys and girls, we're super-taken!

I don't have any pictures of the bath salts (I know, I know- you were hoping for demonstration shots.  Sorry again.) but rest assured they smelled of lavender and lemongrass and worked quite well.

Our next adventure was to plant some seeds.  This was a Big Deal for me, because as we all know, gardening is Not Exactly My Forte.  In fact it intimidates the hell out of me, so having a friend almost literally take me by the hand to guide me through some steps was sorely needed.  Lara is currently rocking some gorgeous kale...

Also Swiss Chard

...so I felt particularly safe in her work-gloved hands.  She'd already bought everything we needed, because she is the sort of thoughtful friend who says to herself, "Jenny O is not comfortable with this 'gardening' business, so I will make it as painless as possible for her!"  She'd even saved up a bunch of egg cartons so that we could just stick the little suckers straight in the ground once they've sprouted.  She is a Rock Star Urban Homesteader for sure.

I hand-labeled cartons, because I AM comfortable wielding a sharpie.

Lara fills the cartons with bat poop**.  (And some other stuff, but mostly we were giggling about the bat poop content.)

Ready for action!

This may have been my favorite part, bat poop or no.

Those teensy little things are mint seeds.  I kept mongo-ing them, so who knows whether or not they'll actually grow.

Into the bat poop, little seeds!

 So that was well and good and I came away feeling like there's hope for me yet.  That evening we all went for a nice long walk, and then came home and played Cards Against Humanity, which is one of my all-time favorite (grownup) games because I am a horrible, horrible person, and so are many of my friends.  Here is just one example of a winning combination:

"I'm sorry; I'm still laughing about child abuse!" said someone about half an hour later.  It may be a new catch-phrase.

We stayed up way too late.  So late that Lara fell asleep and I desperately wanted to, but the boys were adamant that we finish the deck and I am a sucker for proving I can keep up with the boys.  (AKA "dumb".)

The next morning we went with them to their box so we could cheer them on as they (re)did Open Workout 13.2  They both improved their scores, which was definitely something to cheer about.  As for me, I was warmly welcomed and chatted up by multiple people, even tho' I was just strolling around with a sketch book, which was awfully nice.  I met and cheered on one of Lara's friends who absolutely blew my mind with her performance, and was ridiculously sweet to me when I told her how inspiring she was.  The whole experience reminded me how fun/awful/fun CrossFit can be, so maybe I'll return in the near future...  Plus I miss making CrossFit comics...

And then, sadly, it was time to head home, so we packed up our exhausted puppy and hit the road.

Three days of wresting with Moose wears even the bounciest of Pigs out.

So that was my super-fun weekend.  How about you guys?  Do anything that repaired your soul?





*(Apparently if one has taken four months off from commuting by bike, one should not assume that one can ride as hard as one could at the end of the season.  Not without properly warming up first.  Nor should one further aggravate the knee by hyper-extending it.)

**(bat poop)

Gimps Gone Wild

Today's DIY WOD:

AMRAP
in teams of three, run/walk/shuffle around the dog park course (one loop = 1/2 mile)
finish when the slowest team member reaches the end of the loop

(whoever that slowest member might be)

Penalties: any time a team member defecates on the course, run to the "bag area" and back, without adding it to your total.

Our score: Apx 3.5 miles as a team.  (Isis did a lot of extra running around the middle, and Nathan totally had to do the penalty on her behalf.)

Crossfit Field Trip (or: Once Again I am a Black Sheep)

There were no crossfit classes this morning, because the Portland 5k Foam Fest was going on.  So, naturally, I joined my box's team ("The Dirty Snatches") and showed up to get my obstacle-run on.  A breakdown in communication meant that I didn't have a cool, home-decorated unicorn shirt like the others who ran in my heat, but that's probably for the best, since when it comes to me hanging out with those guys, it's more like this:

Hint: I am the one in black.

The mollifying part, however, was that they stuck to the whole "we are a team" thing, and waited for me.  A lot.  Because running is not my forte.  It was super frustrating, because the obstacles were not nearly so scary as I thought they'd be, and I got through them with no problem (minus the one time I forgot to take my ankles into consideration and got a mild electric zap, which led to a mud-muffled expletive not-so-deleted) but I just... couldn't keep up with the run.  Apparently my cardio endurance is for **expletive deleted**.

Black sheep, indeed.

And then, of course, I had to do what I do so well, and roll my ankle whilst running downhill, which caused me to take a somewhat-spectacular fall and my teammates (who were, again, waiting patiently at the bottom of the hill for me) to let out satisfyingly-horrified gasps (hey, I take my comfort where I can).  Fortunately it wasn't so bad, and a bit more walking (plus a trip down a super-long-and-steep-and-foam-covered-slip-and-slide) made it feel better enough for me to start running again.  And I felt somewhat smug because I had pinky sworn Nathan not to tear my ACL again, and I kept that promise.  (Again- comfort where I can.)

Speaking of Nathan, my handsome husband had come along to take photos, and at one point he actually ran a little bit with me.  What a good, good man.

Eventually I made it to the end, where I was given a medal (I'm not much for "participation medals", but I do like that it's shiny) and the cutest race shirt I've ever seen (it's actually cut for ladies, for starters).  Also there was a banana and some water, and a hand-towel which I thought was a great souvenir.

I had a lot of fun (minus the parts where running was making me want to die), but it was a pretty serious wake-up call, too.  Even if I didn't have the motivation of new running shoes to make me get up and run, this would have done it- because as much as I do not enjoy running, I even more do not enjoy not being able to run.

Baaa.

It's Not Saturday!

And yet, Gentle Readers.  And yet.

And yet I went to Crossfit, that is!  I made this schedule-deviating decision based on the fact that Saturday classes are canceled, but I still wanted my weekly round of ass-kicking.  So I made the time and showed up for the 1700 class.  When I got there, Aubrey was busy rowing about a billion meters, but when she finished she gave a casual (sweat-soaked) glance over her shoulder, saw me, and said, "Holy shit!  You're here!" which of course made me laugh.  Apparently I have a Routine.  ::cough::

WOD:

5x

10x Dips  (we used boxes for our feet, and the more bad ass amongst us did Ring Dips)
20x Walking Lunges (bad assers did jumping lunges)
400 Meter Run (bad assers did it with their shirts off.  Okay, just one guy, but still... I didn't blame him one teeny bit.)

We also had the option to do Monday's WOD, the Filthy Fifty, but looking at the times on the board told me I didn't really want to spend 40+ minutes on my mid-week workout, so I opted for today's.  Plus I still sort of hate running, which makes me feel like I should do it more...

Anyway, I was excited about dips because I am always excited when we do things that I haven't done yet.  The first round was... interesting.

Not natural at all, I tell you.

The second round was smoother, until I managed to knock one of the parallettes over during one particularly enthusiastic dip (I then moved the bars a bit closer together).  Third and fourth rounds felt good, but the fifth round was a bit of misery.  As one might expect.

I was wearing just entirely the wrong shoes for running, and my feet let me know within the first 200 meters- not to mention it was kind of hot and muggy, which made it harder to breathe, which made me slow and miserable (although I told myself no walking no matter what- and I didn't, so small victories).  I also made it a point to be super-appreciative of my typical 0800 workouts.  Furthermore, it made me decide to quit dithering about money and just invest in some friggin' shoes for Crossfit/running.

After we were done I made sweat-angels for a while, then (inspired by the bad assers) pulled off my shirt to fan myself with it.  At which point Jack walked into the gym and did a double-take.

(Jack shaved his beard, so his resemblance to Nathan is significantly reduced.)

Maybe I should switch things up more often?

"You Might Have to Scream at Me"

I missed Crossfit last week, so I was pretty dang stoked about going this morning.  As it turned out, my previous new-guy partner and I were the only ones there for the 0800 class, so we got to be a team again.

The warmup included double-unders (or as I like to call them, "ego-busters"), and I did not manage to get more than three consecutive.  It is seriously irritating me to the point where I'm just going to break down and buy a speed rope so I can practice at home.  It also included kettlebell swings, which I'd been doing at 20lbs for a warmup, but today I went for 25lbs.  They felt pretty good, so next time I'll try 30lbs and see how that goes.  There were pushups and squats, too, and it was one of those days where I wondered at what point the warmup would feel like a warmup instead of just a pre-workout-workout...

Today's WOD:

800m row
deadlift hold

150 situps
plank hold

50 burpees
overhead plate hold

So basically what that means is that there are three stations, and at the first station one person rows on the erg while the second person holds the weight in the deadlift position.  If/when person #2 drops the weight, they switch off so that person #2 is rowing and person #1 is holding.  At station two, one person holds plank for as long as they can while the other does situps, and when person #1 drops out of plank they switch, until 150 pushups are reached.  For the final station (as you might have guessed) one person does burpees while the other holds the plate above their head.

Now, this was one of those WODs that made me think, "Oh that's not so bad."  Yeah, one of these days I'm going to learn to fear that phrase popping up in my brain...

J wanted to discuss strategy before we got started, so we decided that to start out we'd try to hit 400m and switch off.  He volunteered to row first, and joked that if I dropped the bar he'd just have to scream at me.

And so we started.  And hot damn, that bar was friggin' heavy.  It seems so simple to just hold a bar, but it really, really isn't.

My legs are wrecked from a) rock climbing b) wiping out on my bike and c) my general klutziness...

 I kept having to use my thighs to lurch it back upwards so I could re-establish a good grip, but most of the time it was just sort of barely dangling off my fingertips.  Finally it got to the point where I knew I couldn't hold it much longer, and I called out,

"You might have to scream at me pretty soon..."

But no sooner had I finished my (truthful) quip than J yelled, "400!" and I was able to drop it and start rowing.

Now, I am pretty okay at rowing- I know the proper form and I know to dig deep, but even doing the best that I could, J had to switch when I still had 150m to go, which meant that I had to hold the stupid bar again- and it was much harder after I'd been rowing.  In fact I was pretty sure I was going to drop it when J yelled that he was done, and I was able to act like dropping it was totally voluntary.

On to situps, which I did first while J held plank.  He started to make, "Let's switch!" noises about 20 in, but I convinced him to hang in there until 25.  I hung in there until 50, then we switched again at 69, 90, 101, 120, and 140 (I think... I definitely know I did the last ten, but I can't be positive on the numbers between that and 69)

And then, trembling, we moved to the last station, where J valiantly volunteered to do burpees first.  I picked up the plate (which was not that heavy), got it over my head, and wailed, "This shouldn't be so hard!" which made Aubrey laugh.  But I swear, that 35lb (I think it was 35 lbs) plate felt like it weighed about 80 lbs.  We swapped off after J did 10 burpees, and the rest of it is sort of a misery blur until the end...

I actually looked at my shins for this drawing, and did my best to match up the bruises with their real-life counterparts...

 But then it was the end, and I was so, so glad.

In Which I Discuss Lady Problems

Okay boys (and some girls) here is your warning right here, right now:

I AM GOING TO TALK ABOUT UNPLEASANT BODILY FUNCTIONS OF A SPECIFICALLY FEMALE NATURE.

If you are uncomfortable reading about such topics, or reading about them as they apply to me in specific, then I recommend you look at the comic and then bug out.  You've been warned, and I therefore do not want to hear any griping.

***

 The post-Crossfit shower is a wonderful thing:

Nothing quite like hot water on sore muscles.

...until it's not:

Nothing quite like hot water on freshly torn calluses, either.

***

So there's your comic.  And now here's the in-depth discussion of today's WOD (and the aftermath thereof).

WOD:

18 minutes total

100m Prowler Push (90/50#)
Back Extensions
Monkey Bars
Airdyne (Calories)
Kettlebell Hoist

AMRAP in the time it takes for the prowler push. Rotate stations each time the prowler comes back in. Keep track of total reps.

But before we did the WOD, we did our warmup, and that's when I knew I was going to be in trouble.  There are certain times when, for whatever reason, cardio makes my uterus turn into a murderous rage-beast-of-death-cramps.  And I don't mean extended or hard cardio- I mean any cardio.  I've been paying attention to it for the past few months and I think  it's only happening around ovulation, but damned if I know what the connection there is.  Anyway, after doing 200m on the erg I started to feel the rumble of warning cramps, and knew it was going to be one of those workouts where I spent half an hour rolling around on the floor afterwards trying to recover.  But I also knew I could deal with it- because I have in the past and I'm sure I will again in the future.

We were supposed to team up with a partner of the opposite gender, so I sidled up to one of the new guys.  He apologized in advance, saying he's only been doing it for a week, so he was probably going to not be the best.  I reassured him that I've been doing it for several months and I still feel that way.  Honestly I thought we were a well-matched team- anyway he didn't drag me down...

We started out on back extensions, which was great because I kick ass at those, and it gave us a chance to sort of pad ourselves for the rest of it.  By the time we got to our turn pushing the prowler I was feeling pretty damn good- in that sweaty-tired-workout way.  I took off down the parking lot with my prowler at a push-run, and thinking I was surprised at how light and easy to push it was.  But then about 25m from the end I suddenly lost it- the prowler got heavy, and I was pushing with a walk, not a run.  And then it was back onto back extensions, where I was definitely not going so fast.  Monkey bars made me feel like I was going to die, and when we climbed back onto the airdynes I was hurting so badly that I only burned three calories (I'd gotten eleven in the previous round).  As for the kettlebell hoist?  I spent much of that just clinging desperately to the rope in a doubled-over position, trying not to drop the damn thing.

Then came the prowler, and it was definitely a walk-push the entire way- but I didn't let myself stop, so at least I had that to comfort my ego.  Unfortunately I'd gotten it into my head that we were only doing two rounds (as opposed to a set time of 18 minutes) so when Jack yelled "Switch!" as my partner and I shoved our prowlers back into position I responded (out loud, sadly) "Are you freaking kidding me?".  So more miserable, trying-not-to-puke back extensions, and one last slog across the monkey bars, and then Jack finally called time, and I hobbled over to the corner to get an abmat (I've found it helps me deal with the pain if I really stretch out my abs), then collapsed.

I did, indeed, roll around for about half an hour gritting my way through the pain- Aubrey came to check on me, even, and I assured her that I would be alright eventually.  Once I could stand it, I crawled into the bathroom, where my stupid devil uterus proceeded to cough up an alarming amount of blood.  Any shame I might have been feeling about my being a "sissy" abruptly disappeared, because I had tangible evidence that the pain was 100% physical reaction, and not a psychosomatic "I don't want to push harder!" response.

I'm not sure what it is that causes my uterus to go into contractions like that (because that's what uterine cramps are, you know- ), and why it only seems to happen mid-cycle, but I would very much like for it to stop.  I've tried different things- taking pain-killers ahead of time, being super-hydrated, doing stretches- and as far as I can tell I have absolutely zero control over it.  It makes me worry, too, about the likelihood of miscarriages if I ever get pregnant.  And can I just say, if labor is worse than what I experience during this business, I don't know if I'll be able to handle labor.  Because damn.

(Oh, and in case you were wondering, my partner and I made a perfectly respectable showing in spite of my body spazzing out.  Yay us!)

No One to Blame But Myself

Today's WOD was "Choose Your Own Adventure!" so that, as Jack said with a gleeful grin, we could not blame him if our workout sucked.  We were to choose between the numbers 1 and 2, and the letters A, B, or C.  I chose 2C, and I chose poorly*.

My WOD:

9-15-21 reps
Hang Cleans
Overhead Lunges (exept we were doing walking lunges)

The Rx for women was to do the reps with 65lbs.  I, however, picked up the 45lb bar and knew right off the bat that 65lbs was not going to happen for my hang cleans.  And when it came to the lunges- well, I did one practice lunge with the bar, and then a second lunge- and then I couldn't stand back up.  So I had to use the 35lb plate, which I do believe was a good weight for me.

(I say this because I did have to pause and shake out my arms a few times.)

Now that it's done, however, I feel I could have gone heavier with the hang cleans- they were tough, but I didn't really have to take a break until near the very end, so that tells me I could have gone harder.  Next time I'll try 55lbs.

It gets frustrating, sometimes, because I feel so much stronger than I was- and I am, I know I am- but then I see how much stronger the other women are and I just... feel not very strong at all.  But the only solution to that is to keep working at it- and to focus on the progress I have made.  For example, today I did all my warm-up pushups (two sets of 15) properly.  That is to say, I did real pushups, not girl pushups.  And I only had to pause when I hit 10 on my second set.  The first day I came to Crossfit I was not able to do more than like three strict pushups without needing a break.  So I am making progress... it's just sometimes hard to remember that I need to be comparing myself to myself, and not to the others.




*(I say I chose poorly because I hate doing the longest round of reps last- it's much easier to get them out of the way first.)

Hard Reset: Day Twelve (or: Getting Pissed Off At My Physical Limitations)

I did not sleep well last night, for various reasons.  One of those reasons was allergies (which, what the heck PNW?  We were doing fine and then suddenly sonotfine.), which is why I've made the command decision that local honey is coming back into my diet today.  I'd sort of thought from the beginning that I'd bring it back in for the third week, but this is happening now.

Anyway, as I lay there awake around 0400 I thought to myself, I'm so effin' miserable.  Maybe I'll skip crossfit.

And then when my alarm went off at 0700 (I sleep in on Saturdays) I had The Debate:

I am a grown-ass woman.  I don't have to go to crossfit if I don't want to.  I feel like crap, and no one cares if I don't go.

Yes, but- you'll feel so much better after crossfit.

...true.

So I did get up, and I did go to crossfit (after one more round of Debate, which occurred as I lay in bed snuggling Nathan goodbye), and by golly I did feel better afterwards.

WOD:

(in the order I did it in)

AMRAP

Keg Snatches
Jumping Lunges
Wall Walks (this video calls them wall climbs)
Rolling Planks
Row for Calories
Tie Flips
Back Extensions

-Two Rounds
-One minute per station, two minute rest between rounds

Before we started, Jack ran us through the movements.  I was pretty excited when he got to tire flips, because I haven't done those yet.

Not even a little bit.

 ...and I still haven't.  And it pisses me off.  Every other person in that gym (men and women alike) was able to flip that stupid tire, and I couldn't.  So instead I flipped a heavy-weight bag, and felt weak as a newborn kitten the entire time- and twice as petulant.

On the other hand, I rocked out my wall walks- although in retrospect I was touching my belly/chest/forehead to the wall, so possibly I was going a little above and beyond.  That's alright, though, since last time I tried them they weren't happening at all.

So maybe the next time I try tire flips, I'll rock them out, too...

Hard Reset: Day Five (or: Keeping Busy)

It's been pretty drizzly, lately, so I wasn't sure if I'd be able to bike to Crossfit this morning- but it turned out to be nice, and so I did.  I'm pretty glad I did, too, because it proved to be an excellent warmup for today's WOD:

In Teams of 2
400m Barbell Carry (95lbs )
100x Box Jumps
2 Miles buddy airdyne- One person pedals while the other works the arms for one mile, then switch for another mile.

For the first time ever I ended up partnered with someone who was not a billion times my fitness level, so I didn't have to feel guilty about being the weak link.  In fact, I was pretty excited that she, like me, had to do "box steps" rather than jumps (I can do them, and it makes me feel like a rock star, but it wrecks my knees for the week following, and it's just not worth it) so I wouldn't be slowing anyone down.

(Of course the ironic this is that, as it turned out, two people doing box steps can go a hell of a lot faster than two people doing box jumps...)

We tried several methods of carrying the barbell:

See how we could both be on the box at the same time, for a quicker transition?

I personally felt that method #3 was the best (it's what the other teams opted for) but my partner felt uncomfortable with it that way, so in the end we went with option #1.  I was slightly taller than her, which meant that method #3 put more weight on me,  so perhaps it's for the best, anyway...

After Crossfit Nathan and I took Isis to the Farmer's Market (where we got the most succulent cherries, which paired excellently with bacon for lunch), and then out on a brief hike.  It was the first time we'd put her in her backpack for a hike, and she bore it like a champ.  We also learned that we need to be more careful about balancing her load, or the whole thing lists... ah well, live and learn!

Once we got back from that I headed out to the church to work the coffee shop for a gallery opening- although as it turned out I made all of five drinks across two hours (it was supposed to be three hours, but they took pity on me and let me go early).  When I got home Nathan had made me Czech meatballs, which pretty much rocked my world.  And now it's time for bed, so I can get up and be busy again tomorrow!

Righteously Exhausted

I was not able to convince anyone to join me at Crossfit this morning (weenies!) so there was no family on hand to witness my very first encounter with push presses.

The setup.

WOD:

Kettlebell Hoist (35lbs ) (couldn't find a video for this, but it's basically clipping a kettlebell to a rope-and-pully, hoisting it up to the ceiling, and then lowering it back down)
Airdyne (calories)
Back Extensions
Jumping Squats
Push Press (45lbs)

3 rounds
1 Minute per station, 1 minute rest between rounds.
Score is total reps

Hoisted!  Petards!

 First of all, my score was 196, a score which I was pretty proud of, all things considered.  But here's what I was not so proud of; I was not so proud of the fact that my ego did not stay at the door where I'd checked it.

See, the guy who was moving through the stations with me (there were five stations and nine of us, so most of us had a "partner" at each station) was not much bigger than I am, and I was feeling pleased as punch (and pretty buff) to be keeping up with him at the kettlebell hoist (leaving aside the fact that he was using 50 lbs to my 35), but when it came to the push press station he got off a minimum of 25 each round (at 75 lbs) like it was nothing, whereas I struggled mightily to get nine in my best round.  I felt weak and pathetic and sulky, and I didn't like it at all.

(So bad, I mean.)

But then I snapped myself the hell out of it by reminding myself that push presses, just like anything else (::coughcoughpullupscough::) take practice.  So the solution to me feeling weak and pathetic (and sulky) when I do push presses is to... do more of them.

I had to roll around on the ground a bit to recover (fortunately there was a sweet bulldog there to give me support and kisses) but once I did I pedaled home and enjoyed the bacon my brother-in-law had waiting for me (good man!), then got cleaned up as quickly as I could because we had to dash in order to make it to OMSI in time to catch the IMAX show my in-laws wanted to watch.  So they went to that while Nathan and I toddled around with Grasshopper.  And let me tell you, Gentle Readers, if we ever spawn I will totally spring for a membership to OMSI because of all the Seriously Awesome Distractions there are for kidlets.  It was great fun.  And possibly there are some pictures of me exposing my nephew to electrical currents for the fun of making our hair stand up... (I will post the ones of my hip-length hair floating around my head as soon as I get a copy).

After OMSI we headed over to the Zoo, which remains awesome as always.  (Seriously you guys- if you've never been to the Oregon Zoo and you get the chance, take it: it's one of my all-time favorites)  Certain members of the party had the advantage of being pushed in a stroller while napping, so although the adults were dragging by the end of the day, Grasshopper was feeling mighty fine (not to mention pleased with the amused attention he'd garnered by making Tiger Noises).

Methods for Clearing Your Sinuses

Before I get into today's Crossfit Adventure, I want to over-share with you a bit.   Specifically I want to over-share about the really disgusting thing that occurred with my littlest cat this morning.  This is her:

See that dime?  Remember that.  It's important later

Last night I heard her sneeze.  And then she kept sneezing.  And then she crawled into my bed and laid there all pitifully.  Oh no, I thought. Poor sick Kitty.  She kept having random sneezing fits as I puttered around, getting ready for bed, and she stayed close to me once I got in (helpfully sneezing right in my face and dear stars mucus everywhere gross gross gross).  In fact, she woke me up several times throughout the night with her violent bouts of sneezing, to the point that when I woke up for the day around 0630 I grabbed my phone to google, "cat can't stop sneezing" to see if it was an Emergency or not.  A cursory glance at the webbernets told me that most likely it was a respiratory infection, and that yes, I needed to take her to the vet for it.

And then I looked at my poor sick kitty, still curled up near my chest, and do you know what I saw?

I saw a piece of grass.  Sticking out of her nose.

So I did was any responsible pet-owner would do.  I grabbed her head in the vice-like grip of my left hand (thank you, climbing) and used the other to extract the grass.  Which was way longer than one would think physically possible.  Behold:

See the place on the left where it bends?  From there to the furthest left is how much was sticking out of her nose this morning.

Yes, that came out of my cat's skull.  And no, she hasn't sneezed since.

Anyway.

Do you know what else is good for clearing out your sinuses?  Burpees.  How do I know this?  Because!


WOD:

As a team of two, complete 200 burpees. While one person does burpees, the other does double-unders. Your score is the time, and total number of doubles.

So remember how the other week I was all, "Team mates are great because they inspire me to go harder!"?  Well there is a flip side to that, and it's "Team mates are awful because I end up screwing them over and feeling super bad about it!"  Especially when I team up with someone ridiculously fitter than I am, which is what occurred today.  Although man, thank goodness he was so much better than me at double-unders, because our overall score would have been even more shameful, otherwise- as it was, his ability to rock out 40-50 during each round (we agreed to swap off ever twentieth burpee) meant that we scored better on that part than some of the other teams.  No thanks to me, who got like ten on my best round ever- and not just because he was doing the burpees faster than I was:

Only a slight exaggeration of what happens when I flub double-unders.

And the other teams- oh man, don't even get me started.  Suffice to say that the other ladies were doing 25 burpees to my 20.  It made me want to climb under a rock and send out apologies to my partner for the next month.

But hey- we all start somewhere (::coughcoughbeendoingthisforthreemonthsnowcough::).  And he was really nice about it, even when we were the last ones finishing our WOD while everyone else was walking around outside trying not to puke.  But I would not blame him one bitty bit if he avoids my eye the next time partner workout comes around...

(Oh, and afterwards my sinuses, which had been clogged, were super-clear.  Hence the title of today's entry.)

Hairy Situations

Today's WOD:

"My Buddy and Me"

4x
One person runs 200m while the other does a wall sit. One round is when each person has done each movement.  (penalty:  if you cannot hold the wall sit until your partner returns, you must do ten squats before starting your run- while your partner holds their wall sit)

-Then-

As a team, complete 200 Sit Ups. One person holds a plank position while the other does sit ups. Split them up however you like. (We chose to switch off every 25 sit ups)

 -Then-

5 Lengths of Burpee Leap Frogs  (This link gives you the basic idea, except we lay down instead of holding plank, and alternated leapers in a continuous activity kind of thing)

***

Ah, team-mates.  By far the absolutely most-motivating thing for me-  I always find I have a little extra to give if I know someone is waiting for me (and doing something unpleasant while they wait).  It's definitely more effective than relying on my hit-or-miss competitive streak (some days it's there, some days not so much...)

Since there were only three of us this morning, we made a Super Team, which meant that for the first leg it was me and Girl #2 doing wall-sits together while our male partner did the running.  I will be honest with you- I was pretty sure I'd be the one to screw up the wall-sit.  It was an incredibly pleasant surprise when I was able to hold it the entire time- all four times.  There may have been some swearing and some pounding on the wall, but by stars I held it.  No comment, however, on whether or not I was the the slowest runner...

Sometime during my run one of my hair-ties jumped ship, and as I started my first round of plank I noticed that my left braid was rapidly becoming a cascade of free-flowing tresses.  Not optimal for sweaty-activities, but there was nothing to do about it but press on (have I mentioned our WODs are timed?).

Fortunately for me, the stars smiled and I just so happened to see my hair tie (which is about the circumference of a dime and made of clear plastic) laying in the sun as we were organizing our burpee leap frog.  So I stemmed the chaos of my unraveling hair and got to hopping.

I'm just glad I braid my hair so tightly...

And just in case my drawings don't properly convey the ridiculousness of that aesthetic:

Who had split-personality hair and two index fingers?

After that it was Farmer's Market time, and then?  Avengers!  We enjoyed that very much, and I look forward to seeing it again.  It fills me with glee that Joss Whedon can now pretty much do whatever the hell he likes, and no one (::coughcoughfoxcough::) can nay-say him.  You go, Joss.  You just go.

Using Crossfit as a Warmup?!

We had an option for our WOD today- we could choose to do yesterday's WOD:

400 m walking lunges

or we could do today's "official" WOD:

12-11-10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1
Hang Cleans
Burpees
Hollow Rocks

For me the choice was pretty easy, for several reasons.  First, when I'd seen yesterday's WOD posted (yesterday evening) I was kind of bummed that I'd missed it.  Second, why do burpees if you dont have to? And finally (and most importantly) I had a 5k Walk/Run for the Animals that started at 0900 that I was supposed to meet for at 0830 (I do the 0800 session of Crossfit), and I knew I could finish the 400m faster.

It was just me and one other guy who opted for walking lunges, so of course I launched into my typical early-in-the-WOD-banter, because I believe in evening out the odds by stealing the other guys' breath with laughter.  He especially seemed amused by my expletives:

Real and true things that I say when under duress.

By the time I finished my cool down ("When you finish, your legs will think it's a great idea to lie down," warned Jack.  "Do not listen to them- go get on the airdyne and work them out.") it was a smidge after 0830, so even tho I wanted to stay and jabber, I had to get a move on.

I managed to make it to the starting line just as things were, well, starting, so my team knew I was there even if I spent the rest of the walk nowhere near them.  Taking a 5.5 month old puppy on a 5k is a great deal like taking a little kid on a 5k: there was a lot of stopping to investigate stuff, then running to catch up/just because she could (less whining, tho').  After the midway point she seemed to flag a bit, so I jogged while she trotted gamely next to me, but then she got her second wind and... well, my quads had Opinions about that, especially in light of their earlier abuse.

My dog runs way faster than I do.

The truth is I think that doing that 5k was maybe one of the better things I could have done after today's WOD, in terms of making sure my muscles didn't seize up.  Of course, now I'm faced with the fact that I cannot go down stairs (except by scooting on my butt, which Nathan finds hilarious), and the dread of what second-day-after-soreness will bring... but I'll think about that the day-after-tomorrow.  In the meantime, I have a bunch of free comic books to read.

A Farmer Sort of Day

Today was an excellent day, and it started (as so many of my excellent Saturdays do) with Crossfit.

WOD (as done by me):

Team Relay

200m Farmer Carry (35lbs)
500m Row
20x Burpees
400m Run w/ medicine ball (14lbs) (I think)
30x Jumping Lunges
Move a stack of weights and a barbell 100m

So the way this one worked was that we had two teams of three, and at Go our first person started the farmer carry while the other two of us waiting.  Once he got back, the second person started the farmer carry while the first person went to row, and I continued to wait.  Once the second person got back, I did the farmer's carry while person two went to go wait until person one was done with rowing, at which point she took over rowing and person one went to burpees (except I think he did wall walks [this video calls them "wall climbs"], which I was not comfortable with, hence I did twice as many burpees) .  Get the idea?  I asked to be anchor because I knew my fitness level was the least advanced, and I didn't want to slow the whole team down.  The last part of the relay, the move-the-weights part, was the only part that multiple people were allowed to work on at the same time.

Anyway, when Jack got to the part of his explanation where he talked about the run, he said, "There is no non-awkward way to do this, so just carry it however you choose."

Readers, he was not kidding.  I tried at least eight different positions with that ball as I was "running", and do you know what I discovered?

True story.

Anyway my team did not come in last, which was awesome, and I did manage to help with the very last part of the "move the weights" leg, so I got to feel like I pulled my own weight (so to speak).

After that Nathan and I took Isis the the farmer's market (you're shocked, I know), and in the afternoon we met up with our friend Nick to watch Cabin in the Woods (a second time, in my case).  If you haven't seen that movie, you probably should.  It's awesome, and I can't tell you anything about it, but you should see it.  Unless you don't care anything at all about subverting genre, and then it may not be your thing... but chances are, if you get any sort of pleasure out of the voice that this blog comes to you in, you will derive some sort of joy from that movie.

Body Politic

It's been a while (::coughtwoweekscough::) but I finally got back to Crossfit.  Today's WOD:

30 Box-jumps
Walking lunge from the door of the box to the gate at the end of the parking lot
Run Devine Hill
Walking lunge from gate back to the door
30 Box-jumps

That doesn't sound so bad, right?  Yeah, that's what I thought.  You'd think I'd have learned by now that it's the ones that seem the most innocuous that kick my ass the hardest:

I was last to finish- but only by ten seconds!

That last illustration is an exaggeration: I did manage my final thirty box-jumps, although it was through sheer force-of-grunt-power, I think.  I really hate it when people make loud noises when they work out, but for some reason I can't not grunt when I do box-jumps.  So I guess I need to adjust my loud-noises-opinion, or end up hating myself...

In other news, we took Isis to the Farmer's Market today for the first time ever, and she was in doggie heaven.  On the way out some woman-with-a-clip-board asked if we want smoke-free parks in Clark County...

"Welll," I said, "Yes and no,"

"Um, alright," she said, and backed away.

"Our bodies want smoke-free parks," Nathan said as we walked away,

"But our sense of..." I started,

"The Constitution," he helped,

"...means we believe in freedom."  And then I said something to Nathan that's very true;  "It's so annoying- my love of the constitution is constantly coming up against my personal convenience."

But that's the way it should be, in this little libertarian's opinion.

Saturday Adventures

I have had way too much sugar over the past two weeks (curse you, birthdays/low willpower), and I am seriously paying the price today.  When I woke up this morning (after less than seven hours of sleep- bad O!) the idea of going to Crossfit was a little bit excruciating... but I went anyway.

WOD

Two minutes each station:

Single Arm Whips
Row Cal (basically using the ERG but counting how many calories we burned rather than distance)
Bench Press
Squats
Rope Climb (my goal was about 10 feet up)
Double Unders (no single option- Aubrey was determined that today was the day we learned to do doubles)

Score = Total Reps

Apparently physics played a vital role in today's WOD...

My personal triumphs of the day included getting up the rope a grand total of three times (last time I attempted it was only one) and getting four consecutive double-unders. Yay me!  Also, my score was 317, which is annoying because I honestly feel I have the strength to climb the rope more times than I did, if only I could just get my foot technique right.

This afternoon Nathan and I took Isis on her first Portland Field Trip.  Our first stop was our beloved Seven Corners Cycles, because both of our bikes need some tweaking (and- snow days notwithstanding- it's well past time for me to start commuting again).  Nathan took the pup for a walk around the neighborhood while I proved how much strength I've gained since last June by casually taking both bikes down from the car rack like it ain't no thang.  Seriously you guys- I was so stoked that I was able to do that so easily, because when we first bought those bikes I had to have help getting them on the car, and getting them off the car was a seriously iffy proposition that pretty much only happened if I had a curb to stand on.  So.  There's your real-world fitness application for rock-climbing and Crossfit...

As I was finishing up in the shop, I asked one of the guys if they had any recommendations for a good restaurant with gluten-free options within walking distance.  He rattled off a few grocery stores near by, and then someone else yelled, "Oh!  Papa G's!"...

Why yes, my shirt DOES say, "Bacon is Rad, Gluten is Bad"

Needless to say, we did not eat there.  Instead we went to the further away (but highly-recommended) Edelweiss to get our Nom on.  And let me tell you, I am a bit snobby about Bavarian food (I come by it honestly), but the bratwurst I had there almost brought me to tears.  (Or maybe it was the fact that I really really wanted rye bread and couldn't have it...)

We walked Isis around that neighborhood, too, and then headed over to REI, so a) I could exchange a shirt and b) we could get Nathan his very own harness and climbing shoes.  (Possibly I was even more excited about that than he was)  Once we finished up there we took Isis for yet another walk, this time a very very urban walk, with way more distractions than she's ever had to deal with (traffic, pedestrians, other dogs, etc).  She did pretty dang well, too, and passed the heck out on the drive back.

She perked up little once we got home, however, and played out in the yard while Nathan and I laid on the bench together to watch the clouds scuttle by...

And now Nathan is calling me to come eat the tandoori-spiced pork kabobs he just grilled for me.  Yay life!

Nerdy-One

If you had asked me even six months ago if my idea of a good way to kick off my birthday included doing eighty-four burpees, I'd have said,

"What's a burpee?"

And then, once you'd explained it, I'd have said,

"Ninja you crazy."

By which I'd have meant:

"Oh hell no."

And yet...

WOD:

21, 18, 15, 12, 9, 6, 3
Burpees
Kettlebell Swings

"Just look at it this way," said Jack.  "Each round you do will the the longest one you'll have to do for the rest of the day."

"That is a great way of looking at it," I said.  "Let's see if I can keep doing that by the time I hit the 9 round."

(I totally did.)

So yeah, that's what I did with  my (birth)day off from work- I went to Crossfit and did some freakin' burpees.  And as an added birthday bonus, I was not the slowest person.  Woo!  Finally!  I've been going for over a month, and this is the first time I have not come in dead last.  (We will ignore the fact that the one person who was slower than me was using a significantly heavier weight...)  Of course, I was the slowest person in my two-person session, but the other guy totally cheered me on through my last two rounds, which I so needed.

Man I love this stuff.

And now a preface to today's doodle: Jack and Aubrey have a very sweet, very mellow greyhound who occasionally hangs out at the box.  Today was one of those days, and she was being (for her) pretty excited, doing short little sprints and happy little leaps.  Jack explained that that's because she gets fed at 1000 (I went to the 0900) so she always perks up around that time of day.  Well after we finished our workout and were recovering, I found myself the subject of an adorable Greyhound Stare.  Adorable until I realized what she really wanted...

...because she wasn't going to get her breakfast until we all left!  Hah!  So I did, and broke my fast in the ultra-indulgent manner of bacon-wrapped chocolate (seriously you guys- it was so good).  See, there is a birthday tradition in my household of chocolate cake for breakfast, but throughout the years I've occasionally had to substitute various items (the year I had my wisdom teeth out I had chocolate pudding- Cosby approved, either way, amIright?).  Hence, in light of my new dietary lifestyle... chocolate-bacon for breakfast.

Happy Birthday Lil' Bro!

Yay!  At last I can post the card I made for my brother's birthday!

(Probably only funny to people who do Crossfit)

And I'm glad that I have that for today, because the other bit of "art" I did is pretty much boring (converting an icon into a cross-stitch pattern).  (The towels that result from the patterns will probably be worth sharing, but the scratchings on graph paper?  Not so much...)



PS, in case you were curious, here's what "Mary" looks like

"...What's a 'Prowler'?"

That's what I asked Jack this morning when I looked at the WOD:

15 min

Prowler/Sled
Burpees
Pull-ups

A prowler, as it turns out, is an instrument of torture.  We didn't do quite what the guy in the video is doing, however- we were to push it to one side of the gym, run back to the start point, and then use the heavy chain (that we'd been dragging behind it) to pull it back to the original side of the gym.

So we had three people, and three stations, and whoever was at the prowler station was in charge of time- once they'd gone down and back they'd call "switch!" and we'd all move to the next station- where we'd do either as many burpees or pushups as possible until the next person yelled "switch".  I will say that knowing my poor fellow-crossfitters were doing burpees gave me the strength to really dig in harder on that damn pull.  No one should be forced to do burpees for longer than necessary.

Except I didn't ACTUALLY strike a pose- I sort of flung my shirt haphazardly to one side and continued my (modified) pull-ups.

Oh, what's this?  A little bit of stripping?  Yeah, that's right- my workout got serious, because on about round three (of four) I had to stop and whip my shirt off.  It was a major relief to be able to do so and know that I wasn't going to be oggled.  No one goes to Crossfit to get their swerve on.  (Not that I've witnessed, anyway.)  Pretty much everyone is there to focus on kicking their own ass.

A Gimpy-Knee Safe Workout

My knee has been extremely painful for the past few days (for the first time since changing my diet) and I wasn't totally sure I'd be up for Crossfit this morning.  But then I decided that the whole point of having a personal trainer for every session is so that they can tailor it to your abilities and needs, and that includes the much-reduced abilities of my right knee.

I got to the box and explained to Aubrey what the situation was, and sure enough- she modified the WOD to take out everything that involved a bended knee.  As such, my personalized WOD looked like this:

2 min @each station

Back Extensions (although after watching that video I now realize I've been doing Hip Extensions)
Monkey Bars (40 sec mark)
Good Mornings
Sit-Ups
One-Legged Jump Rope (only I did it left-legged the whole time)

("Basically," said Aubrey, "Your back column is going to be thrashed.")

(You can go to Crossfit Epiphany's website to see the unmodified WOD)

I will admit- I was a wee bit afraid of the monkey bars.  The last time I tried them it did not end well, which I chalked up to having a greater mass than an eight-year-old.

Imagine my delighted shock when I was not only able to "do" the monkey bars, but actually managed to traverse the entire thing three whole times in my two minute window.  I chalk that up to the past two months of rock-climbing (yay grip getting stronger!).

All this, and MORE!

We had about a minute left on our last stations when Aubrey announced (in an entirely too-cheerful voice) "Okay guys- I want you to go back to your first station!"  And so we went through the entire thing twice.  I was pleased that my numbers didn't fall too substantially (except on that damn jump rope), and after I spent half an hour recovering (sometimes cardio just jacks me up, it really does) I felt pretty good.

Now, however, I have started to feel the "thrashed" that Aubrey promised me.  My hamstrings and back are like, "Why?  Why?!"  I'm trying not to think about what that's going to translate to over the next two days.

Anyway, today was the last day of my free month (thanks again, baby bro!) so now I have to start paying for my pain.  And I'll do so, gladly.  Can't afford a true monthly membership at this point, but fortunately my box offers a punch-card, which I can certainly work into my budget.