Wild Morgen's Core*

*(this is what auto-correct turned "Elf Mother Colors" into when I emailed the photos to myself.)

True to my word, I am well and truly back in the watercolor saddle, and feeling pretty damn fine about it.  It's been a really interesting project, in terms of forcing me to come face-to-face with my own shortcomings and growth edges (although it's been a pretty good year for that in general, I'd say) and tonight I realized that one of the most important lessons I've learned from this project is that it's okay not to be perfect all the time.  It's okay to play, to produce art for no audience but myself (::coughcoughshesaidonherpublicblogcough::) and to not freak out if it's not of a quality that I'd want it to be if someone were paying me.  Turns out I produce a lot more that way- and producing more means sharpening my skills faster, which means better products when I do create on behalf of someone else.  Which, while rare, does still happen on occasion...

But enough narcissistic navel-gazing.  On to the pictures!

Yep, this is the one you've already seen.  Just to remind you of what the stark linework looked like.

When I orginally dew this, all the way back in May, I was going for a Tolkien-esque elf vibe (as opposed to the Pini-esque elf vibe I usually channel), but a side of them we don't really see in the books.  We know they can have children, but we never really see them in that context- so here I come with my imagination and my pens (and my brushes)!

Honestly it was probably "good enough" after one night's colors, but I wanted to do more.

When I finished up last night, I knew that I'd allow myself one more night of colors, and then it would be time to move on to the next image.

The "finished" piece.

For what it's worth, I'm actually quite pleased with it (smear on her hand aside).  Okay, yes, I can pick it apart on several levels, but dang it all, I'm telling my Inner Critic to shut it, and just enjoy it for what it is, which is a pleasing little what-if portrait.

I'm excited to see what my brain spits out tomorrow.

Death, and Other Beautiful Things

It's been an interesting couple of weeks.  I've been thinking a lot about death and acceptance of the inevitable, and it definitely shows in what I've been doodling.  Which is not to say that I'm in a particularly dark or depressing place (insofar as death goes, anyway)- just... contemplative.  I've also been listening to Hayden Calnin's Cut Love Pt 1 on repeat.  Soooo...

I'm going to put these up slightly out of order, for the sole purpose of making sure the preview photo is a decent one.  Ah, vanity.  One of my many, many flaws.

Why Do You Hide

Although this is, to me, kind of a sad piece (the sketch sprang from sad- although not death-related- musings), it was also fun to work on.  Because hair.  And rainbows.  And getting highly pigmented lines with my watercolor.  I kept meaning to go back in and add shadows with gray, and maybe  I still will, but at the time I needed to let go and move on.

To a super cute baby!

...and by move on, I mean I was hanging out at Boozeday and there was a super cute baby there that needed to be sketched.  Now let's back up a bit to the second:

We had a date night!  I wore a swanky dress!

Aaaaand back (to the future!) again to the seventh:

Ireland-ISH

I was feeling particularly uninspired, so I checked my table and saw that it was monochrome British Isles Landscape day!  Which I started, and then forgot I was doing monochrome so the sky is blue but that's okay.  I like the sky.

Purely Ridiculous

You may be asking yourself, "What the bloody hell is happening here?" and frankly, Dear Reader, I don't blame you.  Because there is a narrow segment of the population to whom this bit of nonsense might appeal/even make sense to, and that is the place in the Venn Diagram of Fandom wherein Fans of Elfquest intersect with Fans of Watership Down.  I doodled and painted this (over the eighth, ninth, and tenth) in response to a conversation with said people (ie my people).  It's two of the protagonists of Elfquest, Cutter and Skywise, done up as rabbits.  I regret nothing.

Speaking of Watership Down (aka my favorite prose novel)...

"What is, is what must be."

I've been dwelling a lot on death, and when one thinks about Death when one is also thinking about Watership Down, one naturally thinks of the rabbits' manifestation of Death- the Black Rabbit of Inle.  And knowing that black is meant to be a scary color, an absence-of-light sort of color, just as death is mean to be scary, an absence-of-life, but knowing also that black can be the presence of all-color... well, that lead down the rabbit hole (sorry not sorry) of making a Black Rabbit with rainbows glinting through his fur.  Which lead to the three days worth of experimentation you see on this page.

Which, in turn, leads us to today, wherein I was doing more Thinking About Death, but this time in terms of an entirely different Fandom: Harry Potter.

Gentle Creature

I love the whole concept of thestrals: creatures that can only be seen by those who have witnessed and gained an emotional understanding of death.  Poor, scary-looking things: I would pet one, if I could.

Which brings me, once again, up to date with my endeavor.  For now.

Things are getting pretty intense with my studies: I've done well enough that they've allowed me to bump up the date of my test, so now it's less than a week away.  Eek!  I'm definitely ready to be done with this portion, however: this entire process has really been laying some of my uglier flaws (arrogance, impatience, ease of distraction, temper) bare to the fire, only to crack a hammer down on them, repeatedly.  Here's hoping I can allow myself to be shaped appropriately.

The Mustache

My boss and I volunteer with Junior Achievement every year, in specific with second graders.  Second graders are loud and weird and funny (or sometimes quiet and weird and funny, but you can pretty much count on the weird part) and I do enjoy working with them.  Every once in a while, tho', you get a real... pistol.

There is one of the current bunch that is a bit of a trouble maker.  I like him, anyway, but I also want to strangle him (::tries not to think about the many times child-Jenny-O caused that exact reaction in the adults around her::).  He has a tendency to say things he thinks will shock adults, to enjoy their reactions.  I must be terribly disappointing to him, because I never react the way he hopes I will.  For example, during an early session (during which they're supposed to imagine a new kind of doughnut) he told me he didn't have any imagination, because all he could think about was the devil.  I told him a devil's food doughnut was a great use of imagination, and moved on.

Today, as I was leaning over his desk to help him with something, he looked at me and said (in that 'I Shall Provoke You Now' voice) "Why does it look like you have a mustache?!"

Now Gentle Readers, I will admit that I had a moment- a brief moment- where shame and anger flooded my system, wretched remnants of the stupid Patriarchy.  Because as soon as I'd seen him looking at my upper lip, I knew what he was thinking- because it's been a long while since I've waxed.  But I brutally repressed those negative reactions, looked the little bastard in the eye, and said evenly, "Because I have a mustache."

He have a skeptical laugh.  "Men have mustaches!  Are you a boy or a girl?"

Again I kept eye contact, cocked my head, and calmly said, "What do you think?"

At this point I could see him starting to reconsider.  Which I figured he would.  A lot of class-clowns blurt out hurtful things for comedic value, and then regret them when they realize the hurtful aspect.  But I wanted more than that.  I wanted him to wonder why a woman having facial hair should even be funny or hurtful or at all remarkable in the first place*.

"Um, a girl?"

I shrugged.  "Girls have hair on their faces, too.  We all have hair all over our bodies.  See?  It's hard to see here on my arm, but it's there."

"Oh," he said, and actually sounded thoughtful.  And then I continued my lesson, and mentally congratulated myself for holding my own against an eight-year-old boy- and maybe, just maybe, providing a blow against the Patriarchy.




*(there's actually a really good blog entry in the exploration of my feminist values vs my personal standards for my own beauty... but I'm not up for getting that deep tonight.)

My (Young) Heroes

It's been a while since I've really injured myself- not since before I got pregnant, really- so I suppose it was about time.

I wasn't doing anything particularly awe-inspiring or epic this time (although my climbing bros made up an elaborate story for me via text, involving angry bears and bees) not even running.  I'd been running, playing Chase with Grasshopper and Elk in the cul-de-sac outside their house, but when I went down I was just... walking.  Walking along all innocently, when a curb-gremlin reached out and grabbed me.

Down I went, with a POP and a shriek (kudos for me because I did not scream obscenities in the presence of my 5-and-2-year-old nephews), immediately rolling to my back like a cockroach and yelling "Get your Uncle Jeff!"

Now, this must have been a supremely confusing bit of instruction for the boys, since their uncle is Nathan, and Jeff is their father's name, but Grasshopper dutifully took off at a run to get help, and little Elk came over to me (still writhing on the ground) and held my hand so I wouldn't be scared.

My sweet little heroes.

Soon enough both Nathan and Jeff appeared, by which time I'd managed to sit up and discover that my ankle was 100% non-weight-bearing.  So it was good there were two of them, because they both carried me up the ridiculously steep hill to the house (and Jeff cemented himself as Best Brother-In-Law by saying, "Why, you're not heavy at all!")

The timing on this is... not ideal.  We have a wedding to go to tomorrow, and a flight home the day after that.  And I'm beginning to suspect that I'm going to need to go back to Urgent Care in the morning, because I still can't put any weight on it.

::sigh::

Can't say this vacation hasn't been exciting, anyway.

Jack, Wrangle, and the Star Stuff (Unfinished)

Here is a bit from the next installment of what I've been referring to as my "Books for Mortal Children" series, which started with the Rainbow Bridge story.  This one is being written for my friends who maybe don't want to teach an expectation of an afterlife, because they aren't so sure they themselves believe in it.  To them I say (/literally said): I don't know that I believe in an afterlife.  But I believe in stories."

***

Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Jack.  Jack had a best friend named Wrangle, and the two of them loved playing together- almost as much as they loved one another, which is to say, quit a bit indeed.

One day Jack said to Wrangle, "What game will be play today, Wrangle?" and Wrangle said, "Today were are going to build things, Jack.”

“Okay, Wrangle!” said Jack.  “Let me get my blocks!”

“Actually, Jack,” said Wrangle.  “I would like to use my blocks today, if you don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind at all, Wrangle!” said Jack.  “We’ve never built anything with your blocks before.”

“Well,” said Wrangle, “That’s because my blocks are very special. In fact, they’re not shaped like your blocks at all, you see?” and Wrangle held out a box marked “Building Blocks”.  When Jack looked in the blocks he saw that it was true- Wrangle’s blocks were different from his.  In fact, they looked a bit like-

“Stars!” said Jack.  “They glitter just like stars!”

“Yes, they do,” said Wrangle.  “That’s why I call them my star stuff.”

“What can we build with star stuff, Wrangle?” asked Jack.

“Whatever we can dream of, Jack,” said Wrangle.

“Let’s build a castle!” said Jack, and they did.  It was a big, beautiful castle, and Jack was very proud of it, but after a while he said,

“Let’s build something else, Wrangle.”

“Okay, Jack,” said Wrangle.  “Let’s build… a space station!”

“Yes,” said Jack, “I would like to build a space station!”  And he turned to the box marked, “Building Blocks”, but it was empty.  “Oh no, Wrangle!” he said, “There’s no more star stuff!”

“That’s okay, Jack,” said Wrangle.  “We can just take the castle apart, and use the star stuff to build the space station.”

And they did.

In fact, they built many things that day, not just a castle and a space station.  They took the space station apart and used the star stuff to build a mountain.  They took the mountain apart and used the star stuff to build a tree.  They took the tree apart and built a dragon that lived in the deepest part of the ocean.  They built a whole herd of elephants, and a playground, and even a giant pillow big enough for the both of them to rest on.  Sometimes Jack wished they had enough star stuff to keep something and build the next thing, but there just wasn’t- and wishing wouldn’t make it so.

***

It's not quite done yet, obviously.  I'm still hashing out the last little bit, but I feel like I should have it pretty soon.

("Soon" being a very relative term these days, of course.)

Doodling a Dane

Trying to figure out how to draw a Great Dane:

Little girls are much easier.

(you know, just in case I need to maybe illustrate a children's book...)

Vera, Delilah, and the Rainbow Bridge

(for my son, so that when the day comes, he will maybe understand just a little)

Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Vera.  Vera had a best friend named Delilah, and the two of them loved to go on adventures together- almost as much as they loved one another, which is to say, quit a bit indeed.

One day Vera said to Delilah, "What sort of adventure are we going to have today, Delilah?" and Delilah said, "I do not feel like adventuring today, Vera."

"What do you feel today, Delilah?" asked Vera.

"I feel very tired, Vera.  And of course I feel love that I love you."

"That's okay, Delilah," said Vera.  "We can just sit quietly together, because I feel that I love you, too, and that's enough adventure for me."

The next day, Vera said to Delilah, "What sort of adventure are we going to have today, Delilah?" and Delilah said, "I'm afraid I am still very tired, Vera.  I think I am sick."

Vera threw her arms around Delilah and said, "That's okay, Delilah.  We will sit quietly together for as long as it takes for you to get better."

And that's what they did for a long time, but Delilah never seemed to feel any better.  Then the day came when Delilah said, "Vera, I think I am ready for another adventure, but I need your help."

"Oh Delilah!" said Vera.  "You know I will help you any way I can.  That's what best friends are for!  What sort of adventure are we going to have?"

"We must find the Rainbow Bridge," said Delilah, "and I must cross over it."

"What's on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge?" asked Vera, for she thought it sounded like a magical adventure, indeed.

"New adventures," said Delilah, "and old friends, and many other wonderful things.  And most importantly, once I cross the Rainbow Bridge, I won't be sick anymore."

"Well that sounds like the perfect adventure for today, Delilah.  Here, lean on me and we'll get started."

Delilah did lean on Vera, and although Delilah was very heavy, Vera never once complained- although she did have to take breaks to rest.  This is because although she loved Delilah very, very much, she was only a little girl, and no one- not even the strongest grownup- can be leaned on all the time.  But eventually the two of them found their way to the foot of the Rainbow Bridge.

"Oh my!" said Vera.  "It's even more beautiful than I imagined- but it's so very long that I can't see the other side!  How long will it take us to cross it, Delilah?"

"You cannot cross it, Vera," said Delilah, "Because it's not your time yet.  But I will cross it very swiftly indeed, once I am on it."

"What?" said Vera.  "What do you mean it's not my time?  How will you cross if you do not have me to lean on?  How will you get back?"

"That is the magic of the Rainbow Bridge," said Delilah.  "Once it is your time, the Bridge itself will give you the strength you need to cross over.  But Vera, you must understand- once I have crossed the Rainbow Bridge, I cannot cross back.  I will be on the other side forever."

"Oh no!" said Vera, "I don't want you to go, Delilah!  What good are adventures without you?" and she began to cry.

"Don't cry, Vera.  I love you so much that I will stay if you really want me to," said Delilah, but her voice was sad, and Vera could see how tired she still was.  And Vera remembered what Delilah had told her, about how she would not be sick once she crossed the Rainbow Bridge, and Vera knew she could not ask her friend to stay.

"You said there are old friends on the other side?" Vera asked, wiping her eyes.

"Oh yes," said Delilah.  "Friends I have not seen in many years.  I have missed them since they crossed the Rainbow Bridge, just as you will miss me."

"But they're waiting for you?" asked Vera.

"Oh yes," said Delilah, "Just as I will wait for you."

"And you'll have new adventures together?"

"Oh yes," said Delilah.  "And I will tell them stories about the adventures I had with you, and they will like that."

"And, and will you tell me stories about the adventures you have with them, once it is my time?" asked Vera.

"Oh yes," said Delilah.  "But you must have new adventures so that you can tell me stories, too."

"I will!" said Vera.  "I will have as many wonderful adventures as I can, so that I can tell you many, many wonderful stories once it's my time!"

"I will like that," said Delilah, and gave her friend a kiss.  "I love you very much, Vera."

"I love you very much, Delilah," said Vera, and threw her arms around her best friend one last time.  Then she kissed Delilah on her brow, and stood back to watch as Delilah stepped onto the Rainbow Bridge.

Vera kept right on watching as Delilah stood up straighter than she had for a very long time, and began to walk with a lighter step.  And soon Delilah was running joyfully, faster and faster towards the unseen end, and Vera suddenly realized how much her friend must have been hurting, and she knew she had been right to let her go.

Soon Delilah was out of sight, and Vera had herself a good cry, because even tho' she knew Delilah crossing the Rainbow Bridge had been the right thing, it still hurt to say goodbye to her friend.  And once she was done crying, she splashed some cold water on her face, and turned for home, because she knew her mother and father would be worried if she stayed gone too long.  And she also knew she must get a good night's rest, for tomorrow would bring a new adventure, and she must be ready for it.

Buddies

Easter Beasts

Happy Easter!

Last Easter we drove down to Crater Lake, to spend it with Nathan's (also-pregnant) sister and her family.  I remember having pretty terrible back cramps one of the nights we were there, and being so, so scared that I was going to miscarry again (I was only about eight weeks in at that point).  But I didn't!  Hooray!  This year, we drove up to Rainier to spend it with the same (larger-by-two-external-versions) group, and it was pretty darn cute to watch all the cousins interact.

Which brings me to today's exercise!  The Official Listing of the Nibling Call Signs (I've had to invent a couple more since the last time I did this):

Quail
Toad
Eel
Grasshopper
Bee
Eaglet
Elk
Tiger
Shrimp
Salamander
Otter

I do find it interesting that I call all of my Niblings after various animals, and yet my own child's moniker springs from a root vegetable.  But then I look out at the Honorary Siblings that live around here:

Blue
Beetle (formerly known as Skully)
Bear
Rose
Rabbit

and since at least one other child got "named" after a plant, I think we're okay.

The End of the Beginning

I've been noodling around on a baby-wearing, art-nouveau-style tattoo design for my sister-in-law for probably close to a year now, and today I finally (finally!) nailed the pose (and got approval):

Like a Boss

I'm suuuuuuper excited to get to work on this piece: there is a lot of symbolism I want to work into the background, and chances are I'm going to have to finish it, and then produce a simplified version for the actual tattoo, but oh well when the mood strikes it strikes.

Stay tuned for more...

Jack Be...

Remember those ornaments I was making?  Well, they were in preparation for a baby shower I was hosting, which went down today.  The theme was "Jack of Hearts" (hence the cards), a theme I highly recommend if you happen to be throwing a baby shower less than a month before Valentine's Day.  Talk about convenient!

Anyway, one of the bits of the shower that I was especially proud of was the Guest Book I cobbled together:

(Three guesses what the baby's name is, and the first two don't count)

On the first page I wrote this rather lengthy introduction- 

Everyone knows the old rhyme:

Jack be nimble

Jack be quick

Jack jump over

The candlestick

But a boy should be more than just nimble and quick!  Perhaps the rest of the rhyme goes something like this:

Jack be joyful

Jack be brave

Jack sail every

Ocean wave

Or this:

Jack be clever

Jack be kind

Jack know when

To just unwind

Or even this:

Jack be honest

Jack be sly

Jack just balance

Truth with lie

Please add to the book your name and what YOU wish for Jack (and don't worry, it doesn't have to be in rhyme!) 

Once people started jotting down their advice, it turned out even better than I could have imagined!  So many thoughtful, clever, funny, touching sentiments.  It made me wish I'd thought to do something like that for Neeps (although there's no nursery-rhyme precedent for his name).  I suppose it's not too late to go around making sad eyes at my friends whilst clutching an empty notebook...

His

toes like little curly shrimp

Gifts

Merry Christmas, you guys.

I spent it in the company of various beloved friends, including one newly-trained carpet inspector:

might fine textures you have here

Coeur D'Alene

Today's Grand Adventure was venturing into Coeur D'Alene, about which I have heard many wonderful things but had never actually been to.  Which, when you consider I've never actually been to Idaho (driving through at top speeds on a 3000 mile road trip doesn't really count), makes sense.

Anyway, now I've been- and it was lovely!

Nathan, Chelsea, Eaglet and I all went together, and our first mission was to find some delicious lunch, which we did at a little place called Cafe Carambola.  Seriously you guys- if you are in CdA, you need to eat there.  Holy cats, everything was so amazing.  Plus the workers were super sweet.

Anyway, after that we headed down to the charming downtown area, strolling in and out of shops and investigating such important cultural touchstones as Mrs. Honeypeep's.

CULTURAL!

Then we headed over to a magnificent playground*, which included a small-children's playing area that kept Eaglet engaged for approximately negative three seconds before he went tearing off for the Real Deal, his Auntie Jenny O scurrying behind him.

Kid has good climbing instincts, that's all I'm saying,

So an excellent time was had by the two of us (and Nathan and Chelsea seemed entertained by our antics), but eventually we abandoned the playground to do a hike around Tubbs Hill.  Chelsea carried Eaglet for a while, but eventually gave in to my begging to let me take him.  He was a pretty good passenger, but I was reminded of why one has to build up to carrying a 30 pound pack for miles on end... (and by miles on end I totally mean only two miles.  If that.)

There were some excellent views on that little hike, but unfortunately my little iPhone was not equipped to handle the high contrast, so you don't get to see any of my shots.  Maybe I'll come back and add some of Nathan's, once they're processed...





*oh my goodness watch the first video on this page it's so great!

Autumn's Gifts

After yesterday's lounging, I was adamant that we get out and Do Something today: in specific I wanted to Do Something Iconic, which translated to going and picking apples.  So in the afternoon we headed out to Walter's Fruit Ranch,to pick apples.

By which I mean, obviously, EAT apples.

The part of the orchard we wandered about in had braeburn (pretty good), red delicious (better than in the stores, that's for sure) and golden delicious (my favorite as a kid, and these reminded me why).

I call these Snow White apples.

So we ate more apples than perhaps strictly advisable (Isis included), and then filled up Chelsea's purse with a few more and headed back to sort of carnival that was going on.

As it turns out, lots of things were going on, including baby bouncing:

Whatevs.

Look at how completely calm and collected Eaglet is.  We'd been a little skeptical about him enjoying this one, since he'd protested the pony-ride at a mighty volume, but as it turns out the pony ride was just too tame for his bad self.  Damn, bitches.  Lesson learned.

Also going on was some sort of corn cannon thing:

for fighting off the pumpkin invasion?

Turns out good marksmanship isn't much help when your projectiles are so variable.

Sadly my brother did not win us $100.  But we felt pretty well rewarded, regardless.

still nomming his apple

Tiny Monster

Today was a pretty lazy day.  The guys spent most of it watching football...

(so did the dogs)

...whilst Chelsea and I wandered in and out, and out and in, and ran errands and jabbered and played with Eaglet and planted bulbs in the most resentful way possible (we are neither one of us what one might call 'natural gardeners', and thus tend to think many of the requirements are more like suggestions we can just ignore).  All in all a nice, domestic sort of day.

The highlight was actually in the morning, when Eaglet and I had a pajama dance party in the living room.  That boy likes to shake it, shake it, that's for sure!  But so do I, so that worked out well.

Breather

And then there was an additional highlight when a package from my mom arrived, full of exciting things, but none so exciting as Eaglet's new slippers:

Perfect for Rampaging

Much delight was taken in knocking over block towers, I tell you what.

Phalanges for Dancing

Just kickin' it with my girl Skully.

...see what I did there?

Every Inch of You

A new friend came into the world today:

from the bottom to the top

Milk Drunk

It's Boozeday Tuesday, or as we are now occasionally referring to it, Boobsday Tuesday.  Some people cannot hold their beverage of choice, it seems.

Go home, baby: you're drunk.

Houseguests

We have family in town once more, and it's so lovely.

...can you tell we're an outdoorsy family?

Ritual

We've got family visiting, and it's Most Excellent.

The Deer in the Woods