Milestones (and Their Observation)

In order to gear myself up to write an Epic Marriage Milestone Post, I (reconstructed and) listened to "There In Spirit"- aka our Wedding Soundtrack*. And then, excellent music piping directly into my ears, I read back over the blog posts tagged "musings on marriage".  And then I sat and stared at the screen for a while, stumped for something else to add... and then put all that aside and, you know, actually celebrated our Ten Year Wedding Anniversary.

Cheeeeeeese!

It was pretty low-key, as far as these things go- I've said before that a wedding is not a marriage: it stands to reason that neither is an anniversary (no matter what Big Diamond would like us to believe).  My Lifemate and I have been a bit too busy having an extremely full and chaotic life together to worry about making an Artificially Big Deal out of a party that happened a decade ago.  Which is not to say we made no deal of it- we played hooky from work, loaded all four of us into the car (yes, Isis got to come), and headed out on a three-hour road-trip to Newport for some fresh fish-n-chips and a visit to the Aquarium at the Coast, a treat we've been promising TLG for a long time now.

ROAD TRIP AAAAHHHHH!

Boy loves him some "chips".

TLG was pleased as punch to spy a megalodon.

Life sized.  For real.

When we left the Aquarium it was shockingly sunny and lovely out, so we decided to hit the beach...

The wind was up!

...where it promptly hail stormed on us.  But then, considering it rained on our actual wedding day, I chose to take it as a little wink-wink-nudge-nudge from the Powers That Be.

(And then tried real hard not to take it too personally when it stopped the second we made it back to the car after a half-run up a suddenly-much-longer trail...)

From there we went to get some ice cream ("Just what you want when you're wet and freezing," Nathan joked, but ice cream had been promised earlier, and therefore ice cream would be had.) (I had something called Oregon Trail and it was delicious) and then it was back on the road.

(we DID get this conciliatory rainbow on the way home)

We'd managed to time just poorly enough in regards to Rush Hour that a stop at the outlet mall was a welcome distraction, and I ended up getting a pair of long-needed winter boots for a very nice price (happy anniversary to me).  TLG fell asleep for the last half-hour of the drive, which means I got to just pour him directly into pajamas/bed when we got home, and Nathan and I actually got a chance to watch a movie together (it was Aquaman, and it was on the enjoyable side of okay).

Exxxxcellent

So yeah, I don't know that I have anything Truly Profound to say about being married for ten years.  No new insights, nothing particularly poetic.  Just...  I'm glad I married him.  Glad he's been there holding me for the best and worst days the past decade has held.  Maybe there really is something to the whole Entanglement thing, that my falling in love with him as a teenager had less to do with who were were at the time and more to do with the many years we'd spend as partners in the future.  ::shrug::  Or maybe I, art-major-turned-financial-advisor, really have a fundamental misunderstanding of theoretical physics.  Who knows it's a mystery I guess.

One last thing to share- the "traditional" theme for gifts for the ten year anniversary is tin or aluminum.  Originally I booked a lesson in tin-type photography for Nathan, but the people I booked through lost their classroom space, so we switched it to a family portrait done in tin-type.  I'll share that once we actually get it done... Nathan's mind was working along similar lines, and he got three of our Bonnie-and-Clyde-themed Engagement Photos (taken by my Katie!) printed on aluminum in matching heights, so I can make a nice display at my office (or in the new house- we'll see!).  (For the record, we would never go on a mass-murder spree.)  (And if we did, we'd be a lot smarter about it.)

LOOK AT WHAT BABIES WE WERE!

So there you have it- ten years of marriage in the books.  But now that I've already written an entire entry, I'm suddenly feeling the need to keep going just a little bit longer... so let's break those ten years down into smaller Milestones, shall we?

A little over one since I changed careers.  Three-and-a-half since our first child was born.  Nearly five since we lost Koopa.  Nearly six since we lost the first baby.  Seven since we brought Isis home.  Eight since we moved to Vancouver and bought our first house together.  Nine since our first trip overseas.  Ten since our Wedding Day.

But... that's not really where it began, is it?  Let's go further back.

Ten years and two weeks since we eloped to the courthouse, giggling like fools.  Eleven-and-a-half years since I packed up my life and relocated 3000 miles to see if we could work as a couple.  Nearly twelve since we had the conversation that would lead to said move.  Nearly fourteen since we decided we could never be together because of our different faiths, and had our first (and what I thought would be our only) kiss.  Twenty since I confessed I was in love with him and he told me he didn't think of me that way- but we stayed best friends anyway.  And twenty-four since we met and bonded over bouncing crawdad eyeballs in Freshman Biology.

So yeah.  We've had a lot of Milestones over the full course of our relationship with just-as-much-if-not-more importance than "a decade of marriage".  And I look forward to hitting many, many more on the way.  Cheers!







*I actually put together over four hours of carefully curated (and mixed!) music for our entire wedding/reception (oh hello there control-freak-nature), but for the Album Itself (which was sent to those of our Nearest and Dearest who couldn't make it to the Official Shindig) I pared it down to a mere Twenty Significant Tracks:

Heart Asks Pleasure First (Ahn Trio)
Sunrise, Sunset (from Fiddler on the Roof)
Wedding Day- Duet With Heidi (Seal)
Love You More (Alexi Murdoch)
And I Love Her (The Beatles)
Hairy Trees (Goldfrapp)
Wildflowers (Tom Petty)
Lucky (Jason Mraz feat. Colbie Caillat)
Alabama Chicken (Sean Hayes)
Wontcha Come Home (G. Love & Special Sauce)
Untitled (Interpol)
Bitter Sweet Symphony (The Verve)
Holding Out for a Hero (Frou Frou)**
Singin' in the Rain (Mint Royale)
I've Got You Under My Skin (Ella Fitzgerald)
Sweet Home Alabama (Lynyrd Skynyrd)
Gamble Everything for Love (Ben Lee)
Surfer Girl (The Beach Boys)
Delirious Love (Neil Diamond)
Let's Get It On (Marvin Gaye)

**I can't actually get this version on Spotify, so I had to pause my Official Soundtrack and pop over to YouTube...

Dawn on Her Wings

Nathan and I took Isis for a walk down on the waterfront today, and afterwards we decided to extend it enough to finally check out the land bridge that we'd heard about (and driven beneath dozens of times) but had never actually explored.

it was pretty cool

Lure

I was out for my afternoon walk today, tracing my well-worn path, when I happened to glance at a house that I pass on a regular basis.  What caught my eye was not the For Sale sign in the yard (I noticed that later) but the new ornamental stones they'd put out in the yard.

Nicely played, sellers.  Nicely played.

Life Patterns

One of the things Nathan has been adamant about getting for the house is curtains.  He lacks my utter un-self-consciousness (some might say "exhibitionism") and desires a bit more privacy for the lower floor.  I have been stubbornly ignoring his requests because I like light, and as far as I was concerned curtains = death to light.  But finally this past weekend I gave in and got us some curtain rods, with the intention of sewing some curtains in the next few weeks.  I was feeling very petulant about it, too, informing him that the only sorts of curtains that don't make me utterly puke are sheers (because of the whole letting-light-in thing).  He was fine with that, so long as there was something.  So this morning I was looking up curtain-making tutorials and I saw... well, I saw some awfully cute curtains.  And I thought, "Hey, maybe curtains don't have to be ugly or blah.  Maybe I can use awesome fabric!" so I got on Etsy and started looking for awesome fabric.  And, do you know, I found some?  I found some I wanted so badly for curtains I could taste it- the only problem is that the particular fabric I had the poor taste to fall in love with is printed exclusively for a shop that uses it to make custom bags.  As in, I cannot get that fabric.  And so I sulked and said to myself, "Well how does one print fabric, anyway?"

And thus did I discover Spoonflower, where you can print your own textile designs.  And I nearly choked with excitement over the implications.  I could not just have cool curtains, I could have cool curtains featuring my own artwork!?  Yes freaking please.  And I immediately started designing patterns.

Here, have a taste:

Can you see this as a pattern against my bright orange wall?  Because I TOTALLY CAN.

My Husband Is Awesome

If you know me at all, you know that I am a Person Who Loves Halloween. Specifically, I love dressing up. Costume parties are just... they are just fabulous. I start planning for Halloween sometime in June. Seriously. My annual costume budget is like $200 (that's not to say I always spend that much, but it's there if I need it). So yeah- Halloween? Kind of a Big Deal.

If you know my husband at all, you know that he is at the opposite end of the Enjoying Social Events spectrum from me. He definitely does not particularly care about Halloween (they didn't celebrate it growing up) and dressing up isn't really his thing.

All that having been said, my husband very gamely let me dress him up in a complimentary costume (fisherman to my mermaid) and then drove me out to a party with a bunch of people he doesn't even know (friends from my second job). I told him we only had to stay for an hour, but do you know what that man did? He stayed for three-and-a-half hours, and made conversation, and was all in all an incredibly good sport. So I was feeling pretty good about all of this, but then I came upon a cluster of my girl friends who were all there without their husbands, and one of them declared that Nathan is just "too good", because all of their husbands had (individually) ditched them and made them come alone. When you stop to consider the fact that their husbands at least know one another (whereas Nathan knew only me)- well.

My husband is awesome.

I think it says a lot about our marriage that Nathan is willing to go outside of his comfort zone for something he knows is really important to me. He's a damn good friend, and I think that translates accordingly to "spouse".

Now it's time for photos! Wheee!

Some have called me the Deadliest Catch!

aaaand from the back

Out of Water

once i would have said
i need you like i need water
i must drink deeply of you
every day
or go insane
and die

once i would have said that
and meant it in all sincerity.
i must touch my lips to you
at least once every three days-
a minimum requirement for life as a human.

but that was before i realized-

i'm actually a fish.

(Out of Water)

On the Reputed Wretchedness of British Cooking

Man, what a brilliant day.

Before I go any further, however, let me say that Curt and Alana got everything taken care of, so they’re good. Down quite a bit of money, but after all- it’s just money. They have new passports and all that jazz, and even moved to a slightly more spacious hotel to help cut back their stress levels. Barbara spent the day with them (and Eel, of course) putting things to rights. Our half of the cat herd, however, was already committed to Other Plans.

Nate, Jeff, Elizabeth, Don, and I met up at 0730 to mosey down and pick up our rented car (a Mercedes, of all things) for our great adventure down to Portsmouth and Stonehenge. Jeff was our designated driver, and can I just say- he was amazing. He didn’t hit anyone, including his four backseat-drivers who were over-anxious to “help” as he navigated the insanity that is London, all while driving on the wrong side of the street while sitting on the wrong side of the car. I probably would have cried, if it had been me. As it was he only had two wee incidents: he managed to knock his side-view mirror back at one point, and then kind of ran up onto a curb at another- but that second one really wasn’t due to being an American or anything. It was retardedly narrow there at that juncture.

Anyway, we developed a “system” to warn Jeff when he was drifting too far to the left (which he tended to do, a direct result of the whole sitting-on-the-wrong-side-of-the-car thing). The system consisted of making bird calls, so that there were not-infrequent outbursts of “Ca-caw, ca-caw!”, “Tookie tookie!”, and “Peep! Peeeeep!” from the various passengers. It was funny enough to keep the stress levels manageable.

Portsmouth was absolutely lovely. We parked a good way from the harbor and hoofed it, discovering along the way how absurdly polite the drivers are. Four times out of five at any given crosswalk the cars would slow down and wave us across with a smile. Brilliant!

Once we made it to the harbor the first order of business was, of course, fish and chips (specifically from Britannia Fish & Chips, for the curious). Now, you need to understand that, for the most part, I don’t eat fish. But when I am in a foreign country I make it a point to eat their specialties, so I was committed to at least trying the fish and chips, and moreover to doing it up proper, with salt and vinegar.

Oh. My. Stars it was delicious! So fresh and tender and flaky and not at all “fishy” (we had cod, although haddock was also available). We sat on the pier looking out at HMS Warrior, devouring our new-found mana. Several groups of school children were herded past us on their way to the historic dockyard, and more than a few hollered out, “I smell fish and chips! Aw man, they’ve got fish and chips! I want fish and chips!” It made me feel quite smug.

(HMS Warrior/Me drawing HMS Warrior)

I managed to get an all-too-brief sketch of Warrior in before Nathan made a fuss about needing to get a move on. And so we moved on to HMS Victory, which was definitely the entire point of coming to England, so far as my husband was concerned. It was great for me, too, because I finally got a better understanding of the anatomy of the ships that Jack and Stephen sail in.

(Nate and I pay our respects to HMS Victory and Lord Nelson/a more dramatic rendering)

From there we took a brief detour through a few of the museums (and I got a better idea of the depth of the national obsession with Lord Nelson) before hopping back in the car to Stonehenge (pretty much my entire reason for coming to England). It was the craziest thing, because you come up over a hill as you’re driving and boom- there’s Stonehenge, just sitting there in the middle of the field! And it’s hilarious because you could tell precisely where the boundary rope was by the perfect circle of ants (aka people) surrounding it.

(Yeah, that's right- my husband took this shot)

We paid our £6.50/head to get in (cheap by my new London standards…) grabbed our little audio tour-guides, then got to walking.

(Standing. With some Stones.)

It was just… awesome, especially for heathen little me. The stones are not as large as I thought they were- which is in no way to intimate that they’re small, because they’re not- they’re freaking huge. But I guess they were even bigger in my head. According to my little tour-guide, the way they’re cut adds to that illusion. Anyway I managed to sit and sketch it for a while until Nathan came back and got me because the others were getting antsy (are we seeing a theme starting to develop here?). Fortunately I got a gorgeous burst of sun right at the end, so I was able to lay in some nice shadows…

(Sketching said stones)

We had originally thought we might visit Avebury to see the standing stones there, but we decided we needed to go ahead and get the car back to London, so off we went.

Once we got back we split up for supper- the others wanted something quick and easy, but Nate and I wanted something authentic (we generally do- we even try to avoid chains in the states). There was a little pub maybe a block away called The Marquis of Westminster, so he and I slid over to check it out. We settled ourselves into a tiny tiny table and I immediately felt at home. It reminded me a great deal of the Moon & Sixpence in Portland, which is a good thing. Nathan ordered a lamb, mint, and ale pie with a pint of ale, and I ordered up the meat platter, along with a pint of pear cider. We chatted about what a great day it had been while we waited for our food.

Our food came and threatened to overflow our wee table, but we made do. I took a bite of mine and moaned in food ecstasy- Nathan had a similar reaction to his. Then we swapped bites, and after I tasted his I announced, “If anyone ever again tries to tell me that British food is bad, I will punch them in the throat.”

And I stand by that statement.

The One That Didn't

My Ma had the church for God, and Pa had the river- that's how things worked in our family. We little 'uns went with Ma, of course. She said Pa had had his Immortal Soul long enough to endanger it if he'd a mind to, but as long as we was in her care we'd be takin' no such chances. No way of tellin' how good reception was down on the river, she'd say. God might not hear our praisin'. And so to church we'd go, comin' home every week with a new pamphlet educatin' us on the things we needed to know to ensure the proper safety of our Immortal Souls.

Pa wasn't so prolific, when it came to take-home goods. Oh, some weeks he'd bring home a fish or two, little things no longer than my arm, but most weeks it was nothin'. Well, that ain't exactly true- he didn't just bring home "nothin'": he'd also bring home stories. Stories about The One.

The One's full name was The One That Got Away. But that bein' a bit of a mouthful, mostly his title got reduced to The One. He was a recurrin' figure in Pa's stories, much as Jesus was in the Bible: I figure Pa had as much reverence for the one as Ma had for the other. 'Cept Ma generally didn't want to wrestle Our Savior into submission and fry him up for dinner. Least wise, not as far as we could tell.

Privately I think we all doubted the veracity of some of the supposed exploits of The One, not that we'd ever admit it to Pa no more than we'd admit to Ma some of the issues we had regardin' the life and times of Our Savior. But it turned out Pa weren't exageratin'. In fact, it may be that he was holdin' back a little.