Cheese-As-Bread, and Other Quirks

Just FYI, you guys, this is how I eat sandwiches these days:

check out that thick slab of spinach

And yes, I'm eating at my desk, as I often do.  Not because I'm required to, but because that way I can use my actual break to take a nice, re-energizing walk.  It's a pretty non-negotiable part of my day, recently, because otherwise the Tiredness overwhelms me and I'm absolutely useless after 2pm.  And since I really hate being useless... walking it is!

The walk is good for me physically and mentally, obviously, but it's also good for my soul, because I typically use it to call my mom and have a random little chat about whatever happens to be on my mind (or hers).  It's like free therapy!

Therapy.  Huh.  That's actually how this little ritual started, come to think of it.  Back in the day, when I was so miserable in my job that I literally thought being hit by a car would be preferable to going to work, I'd taken to taking half hour walks at noon every day so I could (sometimes literally) scream and cry to my mother to get it all out of my system, and thereby be able to continue my brittle, professional facade for another few hours, before getting the hell out of there.

Stars, those were dark times.  Praise all be to The Captain, for rescuing me from the mire of work-apathy that I'd sunk in to, by giving me something worth being present for.  These days I love going to work, and that's in large part due to the company I keep.  He's got that ambition, baby, and he treats me as his business partner, and we are going places.  Awesome places.  You'll see.

Special Delivery

My mom sends the best gift boxes:

seriously you guys: the best

(Please note the special tin of cookies just for me!)

We Hold Our Traditions in Our Hands

Remember how yesterday I was all, "I have a lot of things on my To Do list this weekend"?  Well one of the biggest, fattest Do's on that list was baking my family's traditional Christmas cookies, which are German spritz cookies and unbelievably awesome.

my stupid cookie-press crapped out on me, so they are a different shape this year

It took over four hours to finish them all.  I sort of hate them now, just like I do every year.  (And that's exactly why I only do it once a year.)  But I will ship them out to family far and wide, and it will make them happy and reinforce our family ties, and that is a good thing.

Yay traditions!

Not MY Birthday

It's not my birthday, but it is someone's birthday, a someone of whom I'm awfully fond.

I bought this gluten-free cupcake based on sheer prettiness.  Too bad the taste didn't live up to the color.

A Good Choice

As I was walking back to the office from the climbing gym, I decided to finally stop in at the cafe I've been eying for over a year (ever since they put a sign in their window advertising "gluten free goodies").

It was a good choice.

Scratching an Itch

Every once in a while I get hit with Cravings: capital C, all italics Cravings.  Often it's for something I can't have because of the gluten content (Velveeta shells and cheese, oh dear stars...), but sometimes it's for something I shouldn't have, because of the cane sugar.  Earlier this week I had a craving of the latter sort, for a lemon meringue pie (going on the assumption that I had a GF crust, obviously).

Of course the truth behind my lemon meringue craving was actually a craving for the lemon curd.  I've always been sort of "meh" about pie crust, and have a similar disinterest in meringue, so really I was just jonesin' for some tart, tart curd.  And I thought to myself, "Surely I can make that without cane sugar.  Curd is basically custard, right**?  And I've made plenty of honey-sweetened custards..."

So I decided I would make myself some lemony goodness, just for me (because Nathan doesn't like tart/sour the way that I do), and it was the knowledge that I would be making it this afternoon which kept me from giving in to cheesecake cravings this morning (went with some friends to the Cheesecake Factory to celebrate them finishing up their events in the Spring Showdown).

I decided to start with this recipe, and of course make my own modifications (as I am wont to do).

Software:

Prepared

the juice from two large lemons (apx 1/2 c.)
3 medium eggs (farm fresh- thanks Bekah!)
1/2 c. raw honey (local and delicious!)
1/4 c unsalted butter (room temp and cubed)
the zest from three large lemons (apx 3 Tbsp)

Hardware:

lemon zester
sharp knife
cutting board
lemon juicer (I have one like this and I love it.  Best $5 ever.)
measuring cups
immersion mixer  (it is seriously one of my all-time favorite kitchen tools, you guys)
medium metal bowl
whisk
large pot of boiling water
oven mitt

Zesty!

First I zested the lemons, and then I juiced those suckers.  I put the eggs in a medium metal bowl and beat 'em using my lovely  immersion mixer on level one, then added the honey and slowly poured in the juice while mixing.  Then the butter and zest went in, and I kept on mixing until it was 'good enough' (kind of chunky, but since it was about to go over heat I wasn't worried).

Moved the metal bowl to the boiling water, and clamped on with one hand while whisking like a fiend with the other.

Whisky!

I kept whisking until it thickened, and then I whisked it a little longer because I like a good thick custard.  I mean curd.

And then came the hardest part- letting it cool in the fridge for two hours.  But eventually it was ready for taste-testing:

Sometimes we have to make our own spring sunshine in the PNW.

Sour Girl

And it perfectly satisfied the craving I'd been having.  Huzzay!  The best thing is that I wasn't able to eat more than about five spoonfuls, so I'll have plenty to enjoy throughout the week, whenever I feel in need of a tart treat.







**(sort of...)

Who's Got the Button?

Nerd Night was not a full house this evening, so we ended up eating gluten-free pizza and watching Coraline, which I enjoyed- although not so much as the book.  The book was incredibly creepy, in the way that only good children's literature can be, whereas the movie was more... cute.  But still good.  Anyway, the result of that was a little doodle of Other Jenny O:

Let's be honest: I'd have mother-of-pearl eyes.

My First Foray into Gluten-Free Baking

Okay, I promise that my blog is not going to be about the food I eat for the rest of forever... but this entry definitely is.  You see, when I first came to terms with the whole, "No more gluten" thing, my immediate response was to reach out to some of the people in my life who are already dealing with it, and get their recommendations on cookbooks, etc.  One thing that I kept hearing, over and over again, was that "Gluten-free baking is a pain in the posterior," usually followed by, "So I just don't bother."

This distressed me, Gentle Readers, because I like to bake.  Not to the extent that I want to do it for a living, or blog about it all the time, but I genuinely enjoy baking as a leisure/stress-relief activity, and I genuinely love sharing the results with others.  So "not bothering" with baking was not really an option.

Of course, my extreme dietary restrictions over the past month or so have meant that any sort of baking, gluten-free or otherwise, was off the table.  But now that I've been adding things back in (including sugars, nuts, and eggs) I'm at a point where it was feasible once more.

Enter my totally awesome mother.

She has been very supportive of my "weird new diet" (my words, not hers) and when I got her back to my house from the airport (she's visiting for a while- yay!) one of the very first things she unpacked (possibly even the first) was a handful of gluten-free baked-goods recipes.

Did I mention how totally awesome she is?
 

Also I totally roped her into being the photographer for my messier-hand-moments.

So this morning (with a giant mental shout-out to my pumpkin-loving-paleo-pal Lara) I tried my hand at the Civilized Caveman Cooking Creations' Pumpkin Cranberry Scones.  Except... well, no one ever spices things enough for my tastes, so I definitely modified the spices.  Behold!

Ingredients:

Some day I will convince my photographer husband he should spend more time photographing for my blog and then you will not be forced to deal with my camera-phone images all the time...

2c almond flour
1/2c pumpkin puree (This is not the same as pumpkin in a can.  Which I did not know, so it's a good thing I saw a display of the stuff as I was walking towards the front of the store with my canned pumpkin...)
1/2c dried cranberries
1/4c shredded coconut
1/4c crushed pecans (My mom, who is visiting from the South, was mortified by how expensive these nuts are up here.  She promised to send me some from her front yard.  Score!)
1 large egg
3Tbsp raw honey (It should go without saying to use local stuff- it is so much more flavorful than Mr. Bear)
1tsp sea salt
1tsp baking powder
2.5tsp cinnamon
2tsp ginger
healthy dash of cloves
healthy dash of nutmeg (I think I did seven shakes?)

Instructions:

pre-heat oven to 400
line a large baking sheet with parchment paper
mix your dry ingredients in a large bowl, then add wet ingredients and knead by hand until well-mixed

One of the afore-mentioned messier-hand-moments.

use a spoon to dollop out the dough onto the parchment paper (I made it an even dozen)
shape into tiny adorable triangles about 1/4" thick

My dread pastry fleet, just prior to deployment.

put the baking sheet (parchment paper, raw scones, and all) onto a second (preferably larger) baking sheet, to ensure the bottoms don't burn

bake in oven apx 15 minutes (I checked mine at 12, then kept them in another 4)
remove when tops starts to brown and a toothpick pushed into the center of a scone comes back clean
remove from oven, set baking pan to cool on rack.  gently loosen scones after about 2-3 min, continue to cool an additional 2-3, then enjoy!

Striking a smug baker's pose is part of my enjoyment.

We had ours with tea, because we have some British heritage in there somewhere.  (That's a lie- mine was tisane, not tea!)

On the cusp of the Moment of Truth!

Super-flattering.  Thanks Mom.

Considering...

...considering...

DELICIOUS SUCCESS!

For some reason Mom didn't want photographic evidence of her chowing down on scones...

Picking my Poisons (and Then Throwing Them Out)

I mentioned a while back that I'd made an appointment with an ND.  Well, about eleven days ago I had that appointment, and after talking to me and looking over my history, she posited that I might have a gluten sensitivity, as well as a problem with my adrenals.  She ordered a round of tests, and a day or two later I was carefully looking the other way as a phlebotomist drew out vial after vial of the deep red stuff.

The following Tuesday I got a call from the doctor's assistant, saying that the doc wanted me to come in sooner rather than later.  I took the first available opening (Thursday, which is how I knew it wasn't really serious, because in my personal experience when it's really serious they have you come in ASAP) and tried not to let the melodramatic, worst-case-scenario portion of my personality run too wild.

So in I went, and wouldn't you know it?  Her initial suspicion was correct: I need to stay away from gluten.  In fact she highly recommended that I do a sort of cleansing program for three weeks, to give my intestines a chance to heal up, as well as add certain supplements to my diet (such as cod liver oil.  No really.)

Well I sat there listening to her and nodding, and taking my notes, and assuring her I would call with any questions, but that I needed to go home and process things before I could come up with any.  In the meantime, my internal reaction was more along the lines of:

"Pffffft."

And some less-than-flattering thoughts along the lines of "quackery".


And then I went right out and had a gluten-heavy lunch.


Now, I don't want you to think that I didn't believe her.  I did believe her, gentle readers.  What she was telling me made perfect sense in light of what I've observed in myself over the past few years, and in light of the research I'd been doing recently.  I did, in fact, believe that I needed to steer clear of gluten, and in a twisted way that's sort of why I did what I did.  I ate that gluten-heavy lunch (including bread and pasta) in defiance of what I knew to be true... and when I was rolling on the bed in agony a few hours later I did not ask for sympathy (although both Nathan and Kink did provide it, bless them).  The only reason I can come up with for why I (knowingly) did such a colossally stupid thing was because I needed to deal with the Denial-Brat inside of me.  And I assure you, she was well and thoroughly shut-up by that little experience.  She had her proof, and she stopped saying, "Pffffft."

Of course, there were other little voices that needed working on.  The little voice that totally dreads my diet becoming even more "weird", and the flak I will necessarily take from some of my friends.  The little voice that winces at the thought of trying to explain to my grandparents why I can't eat my old favorites.  The little voice that is still crying at not being able to eat my mother's cookies while we're home over the holidays.  All those voices needed some soothing, and some proving that this really is the Best Way.


It took a few more days of web-browsing and feeling-sorry-for-myself (and then feeling guilty for feeling sorry, because it's not like I'm dealing with anything life-threatening or even particularly debilitating), but I think that, for the most part, those voices are quieted.  It is enormously helpful that Nathan's immediate response to the whole thing was to volunteer to become gluten-free with  me.  By the time I'd gotten home from the doctor he'd already started to educate himself on what I can and cannot eat- and today he helped me purge the house of gluten (we didn't actually have that much, which was surprising).  Not to mention the wonderful support I've gotten from several of my friends who already eat gluten-free, either because of their own diet limitations, or because of someone they care about (or, for a select few, because they believe it's a healthier way to live).  We've already cooked several purposefully-gluten-free meals and guess what: they were awesome and pretty much exactly what we'd have made even before we knew.  So what was a bit scary and overwhelming a few days ago now seems like something totally do-able.


In fact, it seems crazy to think I ever thought it was even a little bit of a big deal.

Of course, I fully expect that pendulum to swing back and forth a few times before I'm really, truly at peace with My New Life.  And for the next three weeks I'm dealing with a much more restricted diet than just no gluten (also no sugar, no dairy, no eggs, no nuts, no high-glycemic or nightshade fruits, etc etc) which might actually turn out to be awesome, because by the time I'm off this thing, just restricting myself to "no gluten" will seem like a piece of (coconut flour) cake.

We shall see.