In Which I Discuss Lady Problems

Okay boys (and some girls) here is your warning right here, right now:

I AM GOING TO TALK ABOUT UNPLEASANT BODILY FUNCTIONS OF A SPECIFICALLY FEMALE NATURE.

If you are uncomfortable reading about such topics, or reading about them as they apply to me in specific, then I recommend you look at the comic and then bug out.  You've been warned, and I therefore do not want to hear any griping.

***

 The post-Crossfit shower is a wonderful thing:

Nothing quite like hot water on sore muscles.

...until it's not:

Nothing quite like hot water on freshly torn calluses, either.

***

So there's your comic.  And now here's the in-depth discussion of today's WOD (and the aftermath thereof).

WOD:

18 minutes total

100m Prowler Push (90/50#)
Back Extensions
Monkey Bars
Airdyne (Calories)
Kettlebell Hoist

AMRAP in the time it takes for the prowler push. Rotate stations each time the prowler comes back in. Keep track of total reps.

But before we did the WOD, we did our warmup, and that's when I knew I was going to be in trouble.  There are certain times when, for whatever reason, cardio makes my uterus turn into a murderous rage-beast-of-death-cramps.  And I don't mean extended or hard cardio- I mean any cardio.  I've been paying attention to it for the past few months and I think  it's only happening around ovulation, but damned if I know what the connection there is.  Anyway, after doing 200m on the erg I started to feel the rumble of warning cramps, and knew it was going to be one of those workouts where I spent half an hour rolling around on the floor afterwards trying to recover.  But I also knew I could deal with it- because I have in the past and I'm sure I will again in the future.

We were supposed to team up with a partner of the opposite gender, so I sidled up to one of the new guys.  He apologized in advance, saying he's only been doing it for a week, so he was probably going to not be the best.  I reassured him that I've been doing it for several months and I still feel that way.  Honestly I thought we were a well-matched team- anyway he didn't drag me down...

We started out on back extensions, which was great because I kick ass at those, and it gave us a chance to sort of pad ourselves for the rest of it.  By the time we got to our turn pushing the prowler I was feeling pretty damn good- in that sweaty-tired-workout way.  I took off down the parking lot with my prowler at a push-run, and thinking I was surprised at how light and easy to push it was.  But then about 25m from the end I suddenly lost it- the prowler got heavy, and I was pushing with a walk, not a run.  And then it was back onto back extensions, where I was definitely not going so fast.  Monkey bars made me feel like I was going to die, and when we climbed back onto the airdynes I was hurting so badly that I only burned three calories (I'd gotten eleven in the previous round).  As for the kettlebell hoist?  I spent much of that just clinging desperately to the rope in a doubled-over position, trying not to drop the damn thing.

Then came the prowler, and it was definitely a walk-push the entire way- but I didn't let myself stop, so at least I had that to comfort my ego.  Unfortunately I'd gotten it into my head that we were only doing two rounds (as opposed to a set time of 18 minutes) so when Jack yelled "Switch!" as my partner and I shoved our prowlers back into position I responded (out loud, sadly) "Are you freaking kidding me?".  So more miserable, trying-not-to-puke back extensions, and one last slog across the monkey bars, and then Jack finally called time, and I hobbled over to the corner to get an abmat (I've found it helps me deal with the pain if I really stretch out my abs), then collapsed.

I did, indeed, roll around for about half an hour gritting my way through the pain- Aubrey came to check on me, even, and I assured her that I would be alright eventually.  Once I could stand it, I crawled into the bathroom, where my stupid devil uterus proceeded to cough up an alarming amount of blood.  Any shame I might have been feeling about my being a "sissy" abruptly disappeared, because I had tangible evidence that the pain was 100% physical reaction, and not a psychosomatic "I don't want to push harder!" response.

I'm not sure what it is that causes my uterus to go into contractions like that (because that's what uterine cramps are, you know- ), and why it only seems to happen mid-cycle, but I would very much like for it to stop.  I've tried different things- taking pain-killers ahead of time, being super-hydrated, doing stretches- and as far as I can tell I have absolutely zero control over it.  It makes me worry, too, about the likelihood of miscarriages if I ever get pregnant.  And can I just say, if labor is worse than what I experience during this business, I don't know if I'll be able to handle labor.  Because damn.

(Oh, and in case you were wondering, my partner and I made a perfectly respectable showing in spite of my body spazzing out.  Yay us!)

Turkeys for Timaru

When I opened the garage door this morning to leave for work, some movement caught my eye.  I took a closer look and there, in the driveway was a... peacock?  No, not a peacock- a friggin' turkey.

As we do.

Ladies and gentlemen, a lady turkey hangin' out in my driveway.  At 0750 in the morning.  Nibbling at... whatever turkeys nibble at.  She gave me a cool stare, then elegantly stalked off.

After I exited the driveway she just as elegantly stalked back on.  I regretted not being able to hang out and watch her be awesome.  Even more, I regretted not being able to witness the first interaction between her and Krumps.

Doing Tos

Pretty sure we all know what this is like:

In related news, I'm feeling Very Accomplished today, because I got to check several things off of my To Do List.  Most of those things were actually the scheduling of things that still need to be done, but hey- at least the scheduling is all taken care of!  Busy busy busy... one of the things I scheduled is some outdoor climbing with some of my Source friends.  I am excruciatingly excited about this, because a) it will be my first time climbing outdoors and b) that is one of the Big Things on my Summer To Do List.  (the other two being taking the Lead Climb class and running the Foam Fest 5k, both of which are scheduled for next month- oh, and also riding my bike into Portland.  So far that has not gotten scheduled... and it will have to wait until after I have Corey look Zuri over for damage I might not be experienced enough to notice- I can't tell if her front wheel is wobbling or if I'm just paranoid and man this is a super-long digression has anyone seen my closing parenthesis?!) (oh there it is)

Kink at Rest

Quick sketch of my biggest kitty enjoying some warm evening sun.

Corey DID Warn Us About This

Generally speaking, you can find me at the rock gym after work on any given Tuesday or Thursday.  Today I was joined by Nathan, which was great- although I was not having my Best Day Ever in terms of performance.  (Also I tore open a callus, which, in case you were wondering, sucks)  Anyway, since he'd met me at the gym, and rain was threatening, we popped my bike up on top of the car and drove home together.

Yeah.  That happened.

Fortunately my bike was okay (fender bent, but I just bent it right back into shape).  Unfortunately, the roof rack and car were not so lucky.  ::sigh::

But this is exactly why I am such a tight-fisted be-yotch with money; so that when these things inevitably happen, we can afford to make them better.  Plus I am choosing to think about this in terms of how excellent our REI dividends will be after we buy yet another roof rack, plus the climbing rope I was going to buy this month, anyway.  See how shiny and silver this lining is?!

But seriously you guys- I do not know how it is possible that my bike is okay.  The roof rack was ripped off the front of the car (and dented the frame in the process) so there was a hell of a lot of force going on.  But Zuri is a-okay, at least as far as a quick pedal around the block could show me.  I'm not complaining, mind you- I'm super grateful- but it is very weird.

Good weird.  Good, grateful weird.

(silver!)

Freak

I have been watching a lot of Angel, lately- for the first time, if you can believe it (well, first time for the seasons beyond 2)- which means I've been encountering new and exciting characters:

Such as Gwen Raiden

I probably put waaay too much time into the color for this little rough-pen-doodle, but you know what?  I like it.  And nothing is so good for doing nifty art things as procrastinating the doing of other, more pressing things, sooo... it was sort of inevitable?

Spontaneous Sunday

Here is a sketch I did of my husband while he was playing the guitar:

Face is a little short, but all in all not a bad likeness.

We took a spontaneous trip up to Mt. St. Helens this afternoon, and I must say it paid off in the extreme.  What with the clouds being up to their PNW antics, the effect was downright epic.  Pictures tomorrow, perhaps (depends on how quickly Nathan processes them).  The only annoying part was that we had to leave our dog in the car, whereas there was no such ban on slow-moving family units...

No One to Blame But Myself

Today's WOD was "Choose Your Own Adventure!" so that, as Jack said with a gleeful grin, we could not blame him if our workout sucked.  We were to choose between the numbers 1 and 2, and the letters A, B, or C.  I chose 2C, and I chose poorly*.

My WOD:

9-15-21 reps
Hang Cleans
Overhead Lunges (exept we were doing walking lunges)

The Rx for women was to do the reps with 65lbs.  I, however, picked up the 45lb bar and knew right off the bat that 65lbs was not going to happen for my hang cleans.  And when it came to the lunges- well, I did one practice lunge with the bar, and then a second lunge- and then I couldn't stand back up.  So I had to use the 35lb plate, which I do believe was a good weight for me.

(I say this because I did have to pause and shake out my arms a few times.)

Now that it's done, however, I feel I could have gone heavier with the hang cleans- they were tough, but I didn't really have to take a break until near the very end, so that tells me I could have gone harder.  Next time I'll try 55lbs.

It gets frustrating, sometimes, because I feel so much stronger than I was- and I am, I know I am- but then I see how much stronger the other women are and I just... feel not very strong at all.  But the only solution to that is to keep working at it- and to focus on the progress I have made.  For example, today I did all my warm-up pushups (two sets of 15) properly.  That is to say, I did real pushups, not girl pushups.  And I only had to pause when I hit 10 on my second set.  The first day I came to Crossfit I was not able to do more than like three strict pushups without needing a break.  So I am making progress... it's just sometimes hard to remember that I need to be comparing myself to myself, and not to the others.




*(I say I chose poorly because I hate doing the longest round of reps last- it's much easier to get them out of the way first.)

Clairol the Barbarian

Tonight I said to my husband (somewhat plaintively), "What should I draw?"

He replied, "Draw a barbarian."  Then, eyes narrowed, he added "And don't make it cute."

So here is my attempt at drawing a non-cute barbarian dude.  With really well maintained hair.

Dudes.  Hard to draw.  Always.

Boys You Can Count On

Fan art for a friend of mine's story:

They've got this.

He and I had a nice long chat this evening, and it put me in mind of his characters... so out they flowed from my pen.

Speak Once More

Made some corrections to this one, and added some preliminary colors.

On and on and on.

I'm still not satisfied with what she's saying.  It will come in time.

Dragon Ladies

Sleeping Beauty was my favorite Disney movie for most of my life (right up until Mulan came along, because I am a sucker for women in armor).  So it is natural that that particular version of the fairy tale should have some influence on my own retelling.  Most specifically, the villain of the piece, Maleficent, turns into a bad ass dragon- and so does the dark fairy in my retelling.  Of course, she is not half so physically imposing when in her "normal" state:

Yes, that is an embroidery hoop she's standing next to.

But I did strive to make her dragon-form just as imposing.  Smaller, yes (definitely not castle-sized), but equally deadly.  Maybe one of these days I'll throw up a doodle for you...

Hard Reset: Day Fourteen (or: Waving Goodbye to the Wagon)

More colors:

Yes her skin is greyish on purpose.

I woke up this morning with the knowledge that I could make a fresh start on life- including my hard reset- and do you know?  I decided to shrug it off and let it go.  Sometimes we fail at things, and this is a thing I have failed at.  This time.  What with everything else going on right now, obsessing over my food-intake has become more stressful than freeing, and I just... don't need that.  I accomplished what I set out to do (that is to say, break my milkshake-a-day habit), and now I'll go back to eating 80/20, and life will move on.  And I will be okay.  And not let myself slip back into such bad habit, because man- it is not worth how bad I feel.

Hard Reset: Day Thirteen (or: Falling. A Lot.)

Isis had a very big day today.  We went up to Olympia and met up with her birth mother (and her birth mother's human mom) and had an excellent walk around the lake, followed by some got-a-leetle-too-rough play time.  The most exciting part of the whole experience came as we were posing the two of them on a bench together for some photos- and I managed to trip over absolutely nothing, twisting my ankle and bashing my knee, only to collapse to the ground and flail around on my back like an overset beetle:

My husband laughed at first, but then he realized I was swearing and saying, "Ankle ankle ankle," and he shifted to more-appropriate concern.  Which I appreciated, because I needed help getting up so I could hobble around in a circle to keep said ankle from swelling up too badly.  Isis, of course, wanted to play too, so rather than stay on the damn bench I'd crippled myself to arrange her on, she hopped down and helpfully interferred with my walking.

Ah, dogs.

But in the end I was fine, and we got our photo, so hey- no harm no foul.

Our next stop was to my grandparent's house, so that we could a) visit with them and b) introduce our pup.  I'd been putting it off until I felt she was well-behaved enough not to accidentally hurt either of them (they are somewhat fragile and there are blood-thinners involved; one tiny scratch can lead to way too much excitement).  Apparently I waited an appropriate length of time, because after her initial five minute "New people yay yay yay!" freakout (during which time I stood firmly on her leash), Isis calmed down and spent the next few hours behaving beautifully.  My grandparents were charmed, and all is right with the world.

Well, except for the fact that I straight up fell off the paleo wagon today.  It began with rice-crackers at my grandparents' house, and it ended with some fudge in  my dining room.  And I can't quite find the strength to feel particularly bad about it, either.

Hard Reset: Day Twelve (or: Getting Pissed Off At My Physical Limitations)

I did not sleep well last night, for various reasons.  One of those reasons was allergies (which, what the heck PNW?  We were doing fine and then suddenly sonotfine.), which is why I've made the command decision that local honey is coming back into my diet today.  I'd sort of thought from the beginning that I'd bring it back in for the third week, but this is happening now.

Anyway, as I lay there awake around 0400 I thought to myself, I'm so effin' miserable.  Maybe I'll skip crossfit.

And then when my alarm went off at 0700 (I sleep in on Saturdays) I had The Debate:

I am a grown-ass woman.  I don't have to go to crossfit if I don't want to.  I feel like crap, and no one cares if I don't go.

Yes, but- you'll feel so much better after crossfit.

...true.

So I did get up, and I did go to crossfit (after one more round of Debate, which occurred as I lay in bed snuggling Nathan goodbye), and by golly I did feel better afterwards.

WOD:

(in the order I did it in)

AMRAP

Keg Snatches
Jumping Lunges
Wall Walks (this video calls them wall climbs)
Rolling Planks
Row for Calories
Tie Flips
Back Extensions

-Two Rounds
-One minute per station, two minute rest between rounds

Before we started, Jack ran us through the movements.  I was pretty excited when he got to tire flips, because I haven't done those yet.

Not even a little bit.

 ...and I still haven't.  And it pisses me off.  Every other person in that gym (men and women alike) was able to flip that stupid tire, and I couldn't.  So instead I flipped a heavy-weight bag, and felt weak as a newborn kitten the entire time- and twice as petulant.

On the other hand, I rocked out my wall walks- although in retrospect I was touching my belly/chest/forehead to the wall, so possibly I was going a little above and beyond.  That's alright, though, since last time I tried them they weren't happening at all.

So maybe the next time I try tire flips, I'll rock them out, too...

Hard Reset: Day Eleven (or: A Little Spare Time)

I got a little spare time this evening, so I put it into laying down some color on this piece:

Tricksie Layers

Which, as you may recall, I did promise to come back to "once things calmed down".  Guess they have, mostly.

Mostly.

(Lamb burgers for dinner.  With bacon.  So good.)

Hard Reset: Day Ten (or: Speak What's On Your Mind)

I did the first part of this doodle and was fairly well pleased with it- but then I could not, for the life of me, figure out what she was supposed to be saying.  This is still not it, but it will do for now.  (Expect this one to be re-visited.)

Sometimes I just really do love the effect that a ballpoint pen can give me.

Furthermore, sweet potatoes cut up, tossed in olive oil and salt/pepper, then baked for 25 minutes at 425 degrees make Jenny O a happy girl, and are miraculous for banishing "french fries!" cravings.

Hard Reset: Day Nine (or: Perpetually Progressing)

I went running with my Katie again.  I lasted an infinitesimal amount longer than I did last week.  So.  Progress made.  But I still hate running.  Blah.

Here are some doodles of hairstyles that I did during a work meeting.

Nathan's transcripts finally showed up, which means now he can talk to the college people about just how much credit he can get from his bachelor's degree (/how many classes he can test out of).  Progress progress progress...

Hard Reset: Day Eight (or: Return of the Cravings)

First, a bit of fan art for a comic I've recently discovered- and devoured, because it is so good.

Blaire Warner

Then, a bit of excitement over finally having signed up to take a lead climbing class.  Woo!  That was one of my Big Goals for the summer, so I'm pleased as punch about it.

And, finally, some frustration that today is the day the sugar cravings have officially returned, and damned if I don't want some flippin' cupcakes.  Cupcakes!  Although the funny thing is, I can definitely tell it's about more than just the sugar- I want the whole experience of a cupcake- how small and pretty it is, the contrasting textures between cake and frosting... ye gods, frosting.  Ugh I have to stop now...

(One more cravings-related thing; in case you haven't heard, there is this.  I am both enticed and disgusted by the premise...)

Hard Reset: Day Seven (or: Where is My Peasant Satisfaction?)

I made good on my threat and got down and dirty in the gardens this evening.  The dog came along and helped exactly as much as you might imagine a seven-month-old puppy might help.  After an hour or so Nathan came out and asked if I was deriving "a certain peasant satisfaction" from grubbing in the dirt.

"Mostly I am feeling annoyed with myself for not doing this sooner."

"Not even a little bit of peasant satisfaction?  Maybe your people aren't of hardy peasant stock, like mine."

And I will not say here what I posited my stock might be, but its origins had to do with what I do derive satisfaction from, so infer from that what you will...

Darn sagging garden-pants...

So now the kitchen garden is cleaned out, and the blotchy leaves are all removed from the roses, and the stupid butterfly bush is trimmed back enough so that it's no longer smacking us in the face every time we walk down the path.  Next up?  Picking out what to replace the weeds with...  I'm leaning towards a boat-load of winter squash... yum...

Hard Reset: Day Six (or: Willfully Blowing It)

One thing I forgot to confess yesterday was that I ate a handful of dried strawberries before I glanced at the ingredients label and realized they had cane sugar added to them.  I exercised an amazing amount of willpower and did not eat a single follow-up berry, even tho' the bag sat in my lap for the rest of the (twenty-minute) ride home.  I felt annoyed that I'd screwed up, but virtuous for resisting further temptation (because guys- I love dried strawberries).

But today?  Today virtue left the house entirely.

(And I am, of course, paying the sad-tummy price even as we speak.)

I avoided those damn strawberries for most of the day, but finally this afternoon I just got weak.  I ate one.  And then two.  And then... well, I didn't finish off the bag, but only because I didn't want to see the look on my husband's face when he discovered it missing.

That would have been bad enough- but then we had friends over for dinner, and special coconut-milk-no-sugar-added ice cream was brought over for me.  And let me be clear- my sweet friend said, "Take a look at this and see if you can eat it now- and if not you can keep it and eat it when your month is over!" thereby relieving me of any obligation/guilt.  So I should have just said, "Thanks that's really sweet!  I'll just eat these fresh strawberries you also brought me, and indulge in this stuff later!"

But do you know what I did instead?  I looked at that ingredient list, and even tho' there wasn't technically anything on my "no" list, I knew in my gut I shouldn't eat it- but I did it anyway because I'd already had the strawberries.  And that ice cream was delicious.  So delicious that later in the evening I had a little more because hey- already damned, might as well do a good job of it, right?

(This is exactly the weak-willed-excuse-making that got me into trouble with the strawberry milkshakes...)

So now I feel kind of ill, but more than that I feel unhappy with myself for being weak.  And it just goes to show that when I say my limit is access (as in, I'm fine as long as it's not in the house), my limit is access.  If I had just had Nathan eat those strawberries, or hide them (or even throw them out, much as it pains my miserly soul) as soon as I discovered their naughty-nature, I wouldn't have gone hunting for them- I wouldn't even have thought about them.  But every time I opened the cabinet, there they were, staring at me all full of tastiness, and finally I just got tired of saying no.  I wish I was a better person than that, but I'm not.  At least I can be a smarter person, and avoid the situations I know are going to be my downfall.

(I just asked Nathan to hide the rest of the strawberries- and also the chocolate that he brought home.  I mean really.)

So there's my full confession, and my pledge to do better going forward.  Not that it makes a difference to you, but it's important to me that I take responsibility for my actions.

And now that we're done with that, have an amusing illustration of me being shamed by the spontaneous industry of a nine-year-old:

Hey, at least I held open the back gate for him to haul it all out to the yard debris bin...

Yep, our friends brought over their son, and when he saw the (weed-choked) state of my gardens, he took it upon himself to clear them out.  It was the most amazing thing.  So now of course I'll have to get in there and work tomorrow afternoon because I can't let his valiant efforts go to waste!

Hard Reset: Day Five (or: Keeping Busy)

It's been pretty drizzly, lately, so I wasn't sure if I'd be able to bike to Crossfit this morning- but it turned out to be nice, and so I did.  I'm pretty glad I did, too, because it proved to be an excellent warmup for today's WOD:

In Teams of 2
400m Barbell Carry (95lbs )
100x Box Jumps
2 Miles buddy airdyne- One person pedals while the other works the arms for one mile, then switch for another mile.

For the first time ever I ended up partnered with someone who was not a billion times my fitness level, so I didn't have to feel guilty about being the weak link.  In fact, I was pretty excited that she, like me, had to do "box steps" rather than jumps (I can do them, and it makes me feel like a rock star, but it wrecks my knees for the week following, and it's just not worth it) so I wouldn't be slowing anyone down.

(Of course the ironic this is that, as it turned out, two people doing box steps can go a hell of a lot faster than two people doing box jumps...)

We tried several methods of carrying the barbell:

See how we could both be on the box at the same time, for a quicker transition?

I personally felt that method #3 was the best (it's what the other teams opted for) but my partner felt uncomfortable with it that way, so in the end we went with option #1.  I was slightly taller than her, which meant that method #3 put more weight on me,  so perhaps it's for the best, anyway...

After Crossfit Nathan and I took Isis to the Farmer's Market (where we got the most succulent cherries, which paired excellently with bacon for lunch), and then out on a brief hike.  It was the first time we'd put her in her backpack for a hike, and she bore it like a champ.  We also learned that we need to be more careful about balancing her load, or the whole thing lists... ah well, live and learn!

Once we got back from that I headed out to the church to work the coffee shop for a gallery opening- although as it turned out I made all of five drinks across two hours (it was supposed to be three hours, but they took pity on me and let me go early).  When I got home Nathan had made me Czech meatballs, which pretty much rocked my world.  And now it's time for bed, so I can get up and be busy again tomorrow!

Hard Reset: Day Four (or: Climbing by Comittee)

It was a good day for my climbing- my boss let me go a half hour early, so I showed up at the gym at 3:35, and who should walk in five minutes later but my climbing buddy KB, who hadn't initially planned on climbing today but had changed his mind at the last minute.  Which meant I had a partner, which meant I got in plenty of routes.  KB is really good at coaching, which I personally find very helpful, and when our other (new) climbing friend G showed up we invited her into our group so she wouldn't be stuck on the auto belay the whole time.  Anyway, KB challenged me to try a 5.11-, and so I did.  I knew I'd made the right decision, when, as I was tying in, my most favorite song in the world came on (which, coincidentally, is how I know approximately how long it took me to finish the climb).  I fell off the wall a few times on the first move, but eventually I managed to slooooowly work my way up, and I was super grateful that KB, G, and Crystal (one of the workers) were giving me directions as I went.  I most definitely wouldn't have made it if not for them.  As it was I think I took one fall and one take (after the initial getting-on-the-wall shenanigans), but by golly I did it.  So yay for me.  I can't wait to try it again, this time with the goal of not taking any falls.

Tonight we decided to be lazy and eat leftovers rather than make the Czech meatballs the meal plan called for (we'll eat them tomorrow!), and then we both settled in for some algebra-refreshers.  Nathan's decided to go back to school, you see, and wants to brush back up on his math skills before applying.  Which means that every few minutes I am treated to an excited ramble about how awesome math is, along with an example of whatever new equation he's remembered how to solve.

(Actually I'm super excited about him going back to school, and super excited he's so enthusiastic about math.  We were both a little worried that maybe his brain had over-thirty-and-out-of-school-for-ten-years atrophy.)

And now here is a sketch of my kitty Kink, for whom I will be celebrating an eleventh birthday next Tuesday:

Hard Reset: Day Three (or: Blisters, and Other Hazards of Running)

So I've been meaning to get back into running for a while now, and today my Katie called me on it- so for our "hang out times" I went down to Portland to run her daily route with her (and by "run with her" I mean "shuffle and wheeze along as she kindly keeps her pace down".)

The running wasn't so bad as I'd feared, actually- from a cardiovascular standpoint I could have run (okay, let's face it- I was jogging don't judge) the whole thing, but from a tenderfoot standpoint, my blisters started demanding walking about two miles in (if it was even that long).

Fortunately my blisters tend to callous quickly, so I'm sure I'll be able to shuffle the entire 3.7 miles before too long, and then I can work on speed.

Aside from being sad about blisters, I was also sad about this:

...if only I were older, and had better insurance...

Seriously, other drivers; you had literally two entire blocks of empty curb you could have parked by.  Literally.  And you chose to not only park next to my car, but to park so close that I couldn't just pull out like a normal person.  This is like that time I was the only person in the theater and then another person came in and sat right next to me and who does that?!

But then I came home and there was a happy thing waiting for me: paleo Scotch Eggs!  Holy wow!  They are amazing and my husband is the best.

Hard Reset: Day Two (or: Twenty-Four-Plus Hours Back on Track)

Okay, so maybe this is just Day Two Hubris speaking, but I get the feeling I am going have a much easier time with this than I did the last time I detoxed.  I'm sure a lot of that feeling has to do with not having to consume that nasty RepairVite, as well as being allowed eggs and nuts (speaking of which- eggs whisked with coconut aminos and fried in coconut oil?  Holy stars.  It does not taste like it should be allowed...).  But I also think it has something to do with the fact that I know I can  make it through- I've done it before (and stricter), therefore I can do it again.  Also, I'm a lot better educated on all things Paleo/Primal now, which means I have access to recipes that October Me barely had an inkling of.  (Also also, I totally made a meal plan for the entire month this time, rather than trying to do it week-by-week, whilst feeling deprived-and-sulky.)

We made pad thai for dinner, with it's roots in Melissa Joulwan's recipe.  I changed it up by omitting the snap peas (if I was eating normally I wouldn't quibble over their primal status- but it's Avoid All [even probably-not-that-bad] Legumes time, so I just left 'em out), upped the onions to one and a half (because I had a half one already prepped and I'm nothing if not thrifty also who doesn't love sweet onions?), and used almonds instead of sunflower seeds in the sunshine sauce (also put in the juice of one full lime because waste not, want not).  Furthermore, I threw in a butt load of scallions and slivered almonds at the last minute, because contrasting textures = nice to the palate.

(PS It definitely came to four servings for my household, so keep that in mind...)

One of the best things about this recipe was the leftover coconut milk, which I totally mixed up with orange juice for a delicious desert-y treat.  Hooray!

Furthermore, I totally got up when the alarm went off (even tho' it went off at 0600 instead of 0630), so I am simply full of sticking-to-it-self-righteousness.  You know, at the end of day two.  (Hey, I get my triumphs when and where I can.  It makes life ever so much more pleasant.)

Also, have an elf.  A dude elf, no less.

...with a... freakishly large left eye?  Huh.  Whoops.

Hard Reset: Day One (or: Transit)

First of all, here is my homage to the transit of Venus:

Colors later?  Survey says yes.

Day one went pretty well- if we completely ignore the fact that I accidentally ate something prepared with butter.  Whoops.  So I guess my hard reset technically began at noon today!  Ah well- what's starting a New Thing if I don't immediately screw it up?

Dinner was garlic-lime scallops with a side of broccoli, and friggin' delicious.

In other news, I am extremely grateful for the other people at the rock gym- I was in fine spirits today, so I stayed later than I have in a long time, and when I told Hanz I was going to do one more route, he challenged me to do three more.  I asked (jokingly) if they could be 5.6s, and he said they could be 5.7s.  So I said sure, why not?  And then I did a 5.7- and then switched over to bouldering, and did three routes (two 0s and a 1, which both count as 5.10s in terms of difficulty, or so I am assured), then did pullups until I couldn't anymore.  Which is to say, I blew my arms out for the first time in months, and it felt great.

Talk about an excellent transit.

All Systems Are Go

Family left today.  Sad panda.

But Isis came home!  Huzzay!

(Not actually representative of how happy she was to see us- and vice versa)

 In other news, we are fully geared up for tomorrow's Hard Reset (as I'm calling the four-week detox).   Nathan is going primal, but I (along with some supportive friends) am going strict paleo- plus a little beyond that, in my case.  Here is my lit of Nos:

processed foods
grains
legumes
dairy
soy
sugars (except I think I may bring honey back in after two weeks)
nightshade veggies
high fructose fruits
alcohol
caffeine (which I originally forgot to add to the list, since I only ever get caffeine via chocolate, anyway...)

Also I'm re-establishing my discipline in these areas:

bed at 2200
nightly journaling (my version of meditation/prayer)
morning yoga (coupled with no hitting snooze)
no more than three hours a week of television

 Of course, in anticipation of this Hard Reset I've been...um, well, let's just say I'm probably going to feel sick as a dog tomorrow.  Which I guess means I'll really be able to tell the difference come July 4th...

Lazy Day

Lazy day with the family, which was most certainly needed after all of yesterday's shenanigans.  I spent quite a bit of time thinking bout Important Things:

It liiiiiiiives!

Speaking of Important Things, in the evening my brother-in-law and I took Grasshopper down to the library, and it was super awesome.  Finally I got to play with all the cool stuff in the kid's section without feeling like a creepster for not having a kid with me!

(also I picked up I Am the Cheese and Glamour in Glass.)

Righteously Exhausted

I was not able to convince anyone to join me at Crossfit this morning (weenies!) so there was no family on hand to witness my very first encounter with push presses.

The setup.

WOD:

Kettlebell Hoist (35lbs ) (couldn't find a video for this, but it's basically clipping a kettlebell to a rope-and-pully, hoisting it up to the ceiling, and then lowering it back down)
Airdyne (calories)
Back Extensions
Jumping Squats
Push Press (45lbs)

3 rounds
1 Minute per station, 1 minute rest between rounds.
Score is total reps

Hoisted!  Petards!

 First of all, my score was 196, a score which I was pretty proud of, all things considered.  But here's what I was not so proud of; I was not so proud of the fact that my ego did not stay at the door where I'd checked it.

See, the guy who was moving through the stations with me (there were five stations and nine of us, so most of us had a "partner" at each station) was not much bigger than I am, and I was feeling pleased as punch (and pretty buff) to be keeping up with him at the kettlebell hoist (leaving aside the fact that he was using 50 lbs to my 35), but when it came to the push press station he got off a minimum of 25 each round (at 75 lbs) like it was nothing, whereas I struggled mightily to get nine in my best round.  I felt weak and pathetic and sulky, and I didn't like it at all.

(So bad, I mean.)

But then I snapped myself the hell out of it by reminding myself that push presses, just like anything else (::coughcoughpullupscough::) take practice.  So the solution to me feeling weak and pathetic (and sulky) when I do push presses is to... do more of them.

I had to roll around on the ground a bit to recover (fortunately there was a sweet bulldog there to give me support and kisses) but once I did I pedaled home and enjoyed the bacon my brother-in-law had waiting for me (good man!), then got cleaned up as quickly as I could because we had to dash in order to make it to OMSI in time to catch the IMAX show my in-laws wanted to watch.  So they went to that while Nathan and I toddled around with Grasshopper.  And let me tell you, Gentle Readers, if we ever spawn I will totally spring for a membership to OMSI because of all the Seriously Awesome Distractions there are for kidlets.  It was great fun.  And possibly there are some pictures of me exposing my nephew to electrical currents for the fun of making our hair stand up... (I will post the ones of my hip-length hair floating around my head as soon as I get a copy).

After OMSI we headed over to the Zoo, which remains awesome as always.  (Seriously you guys- if you've never been to the Oregon Zoo and you get the chance, take it: it's one of my all-time favorites)  Certain members of the party had the advantage of being pushed in a stroller while napping, so although the adults were dragging by the end of the day, Grasshopper was feeling mighty fine (not to mention pleased with the amused attention he'd garnered by making Tiger Noises).

Haystacks and Handstands

Today was a really fabulous day, marred only by the fact that Nathan was not able to get away from work to join us at the coast.

We started it out by going to visit Isis (who is being boarded due to my brother-in-law's allergies) so that they could meet her, and I was pleased as punch with how well behaved she was.  Grasshopper was a little too intimidated to pet her (she is, after all, considerably bigger than he is) but he did throw her treats, and giggled as she went after them.

After that we hit the road, and after a quick stop at Trader Joe's for snacks (they'd never been to one, so it was a revelation) it was smooth sailing all the way to Cannon Beach, where the first order of business was to thoroughly encase Grasshopper in protective gear.  We got a lot of big smiles at his high adorability as we walked through town, and I think all three of us adults were wishing that we had pants that shed water so effortlessly.

We had lunch at one of my favorites (Bill's Tavern and Brewhouse), and then went and walked on the very windy beach.  It was so misty that you couldn't really see Haystack, which was disappointing, but Grasshopper was pretty enthusiastic about the whole thing, and the only complaint he had was that his parents wouldn't let him get in the water (Aunt Jenny O probably would have let him wade, but then that's probably why most people don't trust me with their children).  After that we needed to warm up, so we stopped in at the Chocolate Cafe, which was new to me (apparently they've been open less than a year).  Gentle Readers, I cannot rapturize enough about this place.  First of all, the quality of the chocolate was holystarsyes.  But more importantly than that, their customer service was impeccable.  My brother-in-law accidentally knocked his full cup of coffee across the table as he wrangled Grasshopper into submission- they replaced it immediately and free of charge.  And then they gave my sister-in-law an entirely new hot cocoa when she didn't like her first one (not that she complained to them- but I made a gentle and private suggestion to the girl behind the counter that they might want to put an explanation for what a "Mayan hot cocoa" is on their menu, since I just assumed my sis-in-law knew, but she just thought it was like "Swiss" or "Belgian" and therefore was not prepared to find chiles in her chocolate!).  And they were so sweet about everything!  I ended up buying four truffles to take home to Nathan as a "Sorry you couldn't come!" consolation prize.

Once we'd regained our warmth, I took them to my favorite surf spot, which they proclaimed their favorite part of the day (although Grasshopper slept through most of it on his dad's back).  Hopefully I will eventually have some photos to add to this post, but in the meantime, have my interpretation of me being happy with my Mayan chocolate demitasse:

Finally we piled back into the car and headed home, where Nathan was pleased with his consolation prize, and even cooked us a delicious meal of spice-rubbed pork chops and carrots.