10.24.2010

The (Hyperactive) Boss of Anyone and Everyone

It should come as a surprise to exactly none of you that I kind of like bossing people around. Like, a lot. So as far as I’m concerned, today was just about as good a day as it gets.

The morning was devoted to getting decorations over to and up at the wedding/reception sites (a quick aside- this location was gorgeous). I did some bossing here, but mostly in my capacity as a former merchandising expert. Really it was more doing than bossing, when it came to the decorations. I also did brainstorming regarding backup plans and even frontup plans. And then I discovered the “desired wedding photographs” list and got to work on a few of those.

Now, here is a moment wherein I must pause in epic appreciation of my husband. When my about-to-be-married friend told me he’d be handing me a camera at some point to take a few photos, I thought he had a point-and-click. Because ladies and gentlemen, that is my camera-level. Point. Click. Oh, it’s true that I can frame some pretty decent shots, or set them up for someone else, or pose people (especially myself) in the manner most flattering to them. I can also look at a scene and tell you whether the light is good or bad, that sort of thing. But people- I can’t do a damn thing with this information, because I’m the wife/assistant/muse of a photographer: not a photographer. And that’s on purpose (believe me when I say it’s damn hard work glazing over every time he tries to teach me something!) So when my friend handed me a camera with lenses that change out, I almost swallowed my tongue. Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to know just enough to know how damn ignorant you are? (Hint: very frustrating.) Also, I wanted a macro lens so badly I could taste it (pretty hard to get good ring shots without it) which was uncomfortable to me because again- not a photographer. I should not have photographer cravings! Plus the whole pressure of, you know, someone’s wedding. By the time the cousin-with-some-experience showed up to take the camera from me, I was ready to cry with relief. But more on my interaction with that fellow in a bit.

When things really heated up in terms of Jenny O Getting to Boss People was when the officiant showed up. It just so happens that said officiant is an old and dear friend of mine, so first there had to be huggings and joy. But then there was lots of Jenny O barking out Rehersal Orders. Great great fun. And then it was one hour ‘til and there was lots of Jenny O barking out who goes where to do what and getting dressed orders, as well as filling in the elected dj on the music-cues. And then there was Jenny O barking at the guests to get where they belonged, barking at the wedding party to get in place (actually driving part of the wedding party into place), and doing a lot of significant glaring and chin-jerking to get things rolling.

And then there was lots of Jenny O smiling like a great big dumb idiot as the bride walked up the aisle and being just so happy because I do so love it when people find each other and get to spend forever together (and then a little more with the hand-signals for the dj) and then cutting the rings out of my bouquet to hand over to my friend and his bride, and more smiling and laughing when the bubbles proved impossible for the guests to get into, and then the recessional when all of a sudden we were a bit frozen because the bride and groom weren’t coming back up the aisle as discussed during the rehearsal so the officiant just took me on one art and the matron of honor on the other and we giggled our way down the aisle and it was joy joy joy!

And then more Jenny O barking at guests to get over to the lodge and warm up for heaven’s sake! because the wedding party had to do photos. By this time I think the guests who hadn’t already met me were beginning to feel like I was an old (and obnoxiously perky) friend because my barking was tending to lead to laughter.

So. Back to the wedding party. I gathered up all the family and herded them over to where the bride had wanted to do photos, and then the barking frenzy really started as I moved groups in, out, and around while the photographer snapped away (he was relieved: he really had no idea what sorts of photos needed to be taken). And then I dismissed those not needed and ran the bride and groom through some various poses. And then, shivering with the kind of cold you can expect from a girl wearing a sleeveless black dress in October in Washington State, I punted the photographer back into the lodge, announced the bride and groom, got them set up for the receiving line, and started herding folks toward them (what is it with people being so damn shy about a receiving line?).

Then we signed the legal documents while I nibbled some fruit, and then I nudged the bride and groom to get their dinner so that a)they would and b)other people would feel okay about getting theirs. About half an hour into that I nudged the kitchen people into bringing out the champagne flutes and bubbly, and then it was time for toasts! Both the fathers did theirs, and then it was time for me to stand up and do mine. Well, as I explained to the crowd, I had not written a toast- I had written a speech. This made them laugh, as did the rest of my speech, and the ending had my friend tearing up so I’d say I did okay with that. Man I can work a crowd. Go me.

And then there was cake cutting and me sneaking out because it was already dark and I had a long long way to drive to get back to my brother. But I felt good- I felt I’d actually made a difference in my friend’s wedding day, made it run more smoothly and be less stressful for the two of them. Plus, you know- I got to boss people around all freaking day- and then they thanked me for it! I could totally do this for a living…

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