1.03.2016

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

We woke up this morning to snow- big fat flakes drifting down from the sky without a care in the world.  I looked at them with envy- my life is full of Care right now- but also with anticipation.  Neeps's first real snowfall!

Nathan headed off to church, and I began to gird my (and Neeps's) respective loins for a very cold walk around the neighborhood.  This involved wool socks, careful layering, and a surge of gratitude for my brother who had given me a neck gaiter several years back.  Never has it been more appreciated, since having a baby nestled against my chest more or less rules out any of my long and lovely scarves.

I had a surge of trepidation before starting out, however- was I being an irresponsible mother, by taking my child- my infant- out in the snow when it wasn't absolutely necessary?  What if I slipped and fell?  What if he suffocated beneath all those layers?  What if he caught pneumonia and died?  What if, what if?

And then I realized, it wasn't really me having those fears (well, maybe the slip-and-fall one, a little: I am notoriously clumsy)- I was hearing other people in my head.  My fear was not that I'd do him harm, but that I'd suffer the dreaded Judgmental People Judging Me.

And then I realized that I don't actually give a fuck.  Because you know what?  I'm not an idiot, and I'm not taking unnecessary risks with my son.  He was dressed appropriately, and I refuse to start his life out by setting an example of fearfulness.  So I put up my hood and got on with it.


Right before the afore-mentioned hood-raising

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