The Facts

I miscarried two weeks ago.  Hopefully this post will answer most of the common questions people might have about the whole experience.

I was 14 weeks, three days into my pregnancy (that's a little over three months, for those of you confused by the whole pregnancy-in-weeks thing) which means I was in the second trimester, which means what happened is termed a "late miscarriage".  It is not common.  We had a 2% chance of it happening.

We'd nick-named the fetus "the Koopa" due to its striking resemblance to such in an early ultrasound.

I had what is referred to as a "natural miscarriage", which means I essentially gave birth.  I did it at home. This was by far a better choice for me personally than going to the ER.  Your mileage may vary.

We were not expecting it.  We'd last seen the Koopa's heartbeat on an ultrasound that Friday morning.  I miscarried in the first dark hours of Sunday.  I didn't even fully understand/accept that it was happening until I was actively "giving birth", because I'd gone through similar contractions that Thursday night and again- everything appeared fine.  From start to finish the whole thing took perhaps three hours.

We went to the doctor the following Monday, and I gave the Koopa and parts of my placenta to pathology.  I appeared to be perfectly healthy, with no obvious reason for me to have miscarried.

As it turned out, unfortunately, I was not "perfectly healthy".  Less than a week later, on a Thursday night, I began hemorrhaging.  This resulted in a trip to the ER, an approximate 30% blood loss, and an emergency D&C, which revealed that I had a rather large portion of placenta still in my uterus.  Thanks to modern medicine, I came out the other side of things, and spent an additional five days recovering at home.

Since that nerve-wracking Thursday night we have gotten the pathology report back: the Koopa was in perfect physical condition, and there was no sign of infection, so again- no obvious reason to have miscarried.  Chromosomal results will take longer, and they may or may not have more answers for us.  I have a follow-up appointment with my doctor this week, which I expect will lead to further tests to try and discover "Why did this happen?"  But I am fully aware that sometimes the only answer is, "It just did."

We did not choose to bury Koopa.  In my imagination, after pathology was done with her she went on to help new doctors learn about miscarriage.  If you happen to know differently, I'd appreciate you letting me keep my illusions.  They're pretty and they give me comfort.

This was my second miscarriage, which increases my chances for miscarriage in the future to 18%.  Of course, we haven't decided yet if we're going to try again.  Only time will tell.

Nathan and I are doing reasonably well, all things considered.  We have been surrounded with love and support by our family and friends, and we know we will be okay in the long run.

If you would like to read about my first miscarriage, you can go here and follow the rabbit hole.

If you'd like to read a more visceral description of what happened two weeks ago, that's here.  But I totally get it if you don't.