Slytherclaw

It's been a day fraught with emotional upset, but none so great as what happened to me this afternoon.

Once upon a time, when I worked at Borders, Harry Potter books were still being released.  I worked several of the midnight release parties (always super fun!) and during the first one I was the Cafe Manager, and thus dressed up as "Sortia O'Simmer, Syltherin Potions Mistress".  That was my first inkling of my future greatness.

A few years later, Pottermore was released to potential beta users.  I was super lucky, and managed to get in- and was promptly sorted into Slytherin.  I wasn't surprised, exactly- I knew I'd come out either Ravenclaw or Slytherin- but I was a little saddened by the lack of Positive Slytherin Representation in the world.  I vowed to show the world that Slytherins were basically the best of Ravenclaw and Griffindor- we're incredibly clever (some might say "sly") when it comes to getting our way, but we also have deep, powerful bonds loyalty (to those who deserve it).

I've been bleeding green and silver ever since (we even did Neeps's birth announcements with me in Slytherin robes and Nathan in Ravenclaw robes), although I've never been super active on Pottermore.  I'll pop over every once in a while, when JK Rowling updates with something cool.

As she did today.

So of course I wanted to know which of the American houses I'd be sorted in to!  But... I couldn't remember my password.  And they couldn't email it to me, apparently, because I'd originally signed up under the old Pottermore: I'd have to sign up again.

So I did.

And lo!  They told me that if I entered my old username, I could recover all my old stuff- house, wand, etc etc.  Well that was cool- except I couldn't remember my randomly generated username.  I knew I could dig it up if I looked hard enough, but I figured what the heck- I'd just re-sort myself into Slytherin and would be fiiiiiiine.

Except that's not what happened.

The test- a test which was noticeably different from the one I took seven years ago- sorted me into freaking Ravenclaw.  I was aghast.  I may have literally howled, "Nooooo!"

Almost immediately thereafter, I found my old username.  "Okay," I told myself, trying to calm my breathing.  "We can fix this.  I'll just... delete this new account, sign up for a new new one, and use my recently recovered username to grab my old info!"

Except that's not what happened.

I went to go delete my account- and was informed that if I did so, I 'd lose access to all the Harry Potter books I'd purchased several years back.

There was definitely some very vulgar swearing at this point.

And so I've sent Pottermore a letter, laying out my situation and begging for mercy.  We'll see what they say.  I'm sure they can help me out, with the power of friendship and magic...

(But don't think the Slytherin in me isn't shrieking, "I will burn shit to the ground!")

EDITED TO ADD:

After a second, pleading-intensified missive, they finally took pity on me!  I'm back in the snake's den where I belong.  Thanks, Pottermore!