Half-Assed Apologies to My Baby

Look, ain't a one of us a perfect parent.  Even Mother Mary lost track of her firstborn. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't own up to our imperfections, and perhaps even apologize to our children for the more egregious transgressions.  With that in mind, I figure I can make things easier on my future-self by going ahead and starting my compilation now, rather than trying to remember it all once he's old enough for therapy.  So here we go.

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Dear Baby,

Sorry about all those times where you just wanted a meal but ended up feeling like a puppy trying to drink from a fire hose.  (Maybe you shouldn't have pulled away so soon.)

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Dear Baby,

Sorry about that time we kept putting you in newborn sized diapers long past when we should have moved you to the next size just because we'd literally just bought a case of them in our panic about running out in the middle of the night.  (It's not our fault you're growing so damn fast.) (Or maybe it is?  Because of the whole fire-hose thing?) (And anyway it hurt us more than you, as evidenced by The Day of Nothing But Blow-Outs)

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Dear Baby,

Sorry about not changing you right away when you woke up because I knew you were just going to pee after I fed you, anyway.  (But I was right about that.  Just saying.)

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Dear Baby,

Sorry for reading you a book about tidying rather than some sweet children's classic.  (It's just that it's due back at the library next week and my leisure-reading time seems to be in mysteriously short supply these days I'm just saying.)

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Dear Baby,

Sorry for taking photos of you even when you're obviously not in the mood for it.  (Hey, someone has to document all these adorable outfits because, as already mentioned, you're growing out of them way too fast.)

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Dear Baby,

Sorry about the food I dropped on you that time.  (Those times.)  (All those many, many times.) (Look it's hard to eat neatly with a squirming baby in your lap!)

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Dear Baby,

Sorry about that time I had honey on my lips when I kissed your head, and your temple got all sticky. (You should have told me it was there.  That's what a good friend does.)

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Dear Baby,

Sorry about that time I licked honey off your head.