Judith Slays Holofernes, Pt IX

At last she sighed heavily.

“I must pray on this, Ku-Aya, and ask the God of gods to reveal his will to me.”

“How will you know His will?” I asked, for again- I have never spoken with the Judaean god.  But, of course, that does not mean He does not speak to His followers. The Council’s records indicate that he is a sky god, primarily concerned with the doings of his chosen people, and does not bestir himself on the behalf of others- but he is powerful within his sphere, commanding storms, wind, and skyfire to devastating effect.

“I will know,” she said, simply, and I was left to be satisfied with that.

Now I wait, recording the events of these past few days, and contemplating what my ward said to me about children.  There is no doubt that her first duty is to her God, her second to her husband, and her third will be to her children, should she have them.  I might work her devotion to her god (well-known to abhor those creatures that dwell in darkness) to my advantage. But loyalty to family can only interfere with her Slayer duties- which is why, of course, we try to take Potentials as young as possible.

Damn Sennacherib, anyway.  Why could he not leave Babylon alone?  He is like a willful child, discontent with what he has, and unwilling to let others have anything he cannot himself possess.  Would that I could turn a Slayer on him and his demonic appetites.

But dwelling does me no good.  I shall turn my thoughts instead to the coming festival.  The barley harvest should begin within days and then, the other servants tell me, we shall celebrate the first fruits of the year with a week of feasting and song.  They say that Manessah himself works alongside the men, to show he does not feel himself above any in the service of their god. I find I have developed a grudging respect for my ward’s husband- he is a good man, not afraid of hard work, and with an open palm for any who need assistance.  And he is kind to his servants- myself included- and his young wife. If only he’d waited one more year to marry her.

Judith Slays Holofernes, Pt VIII

I was relieved at how quickly her mind worked, how quickly she was accepting what I said.

“Yes, precisely.  We are the mind that directs the body of the Slayer.”

“And yet you say I am not this Slayer?”

“Not yet, my lady.  But you might be.”

“But I also might not be,” she said, reasonably.  “And what does it mean, if I am never Called?”

“I-” my mind raced furiously.  What did it mean, if she was never called?  A lifetime of me Watching, waiting? In the Diaries I’d read, all Potentials were either Called, or killed waiting to be Called.  Either way, the lifespan of a Chosen One, chosen or not, was not long. But should I tell her that? I glanced up into her eyes, which held no fear, only patience, and I gave her a truth, if not all of it.  “No Potential has ever been Called past the age of five and twenty,” I said at last.

She gave this some consideration, staring into a distance I could not see.  “That is more than a decade away, Ku-Aya. I am very likely to have children before then.  It is my duty to my husband and the God of gods to increase the number of our people. How does it affect them, if I am Called?”

“Truthfully, my lady, I do not know.  Usually we find our Potentials before they are married, and we take them away for training.  But there was... an upset... in Babylon. It threw our Council into chaos, and we were not able to come for you as quickly as we’d have prefered.”

Her eyes turned back to mine, and she smiled with no mirth.  “An upset? You mean Sennacherib, of course.” I nodded, and she continued, “Yes, I can see how that might cause chaos.  He is a ravenous beast who will not be content until he’s devoured the world. Is he the evil you would have me fight?”

“The Slayer is not Called to fight the evils of men,” I said.  “That is left to other men. The Slayer fights demons and their ilk.  It is what they were created to do.”

“We are all of us created to stand against evil in whatever form it takes,” she said sharply.  “But I can see that it might be best to start with demons and work one’s way up to kings.”

Judith Slays Holofernes, Pt VII

I didn't get up early, and thus I am up much too late, working on this.  Finally getting things rolling, but only feeling so-so about it.  But that's the great thing about this time of year- I just slap it down and post it, no time for endless obsessing over it to "get it just right" before moving on...

That being said, there's a lot more research I want to do for this.  ::sigh::

***

She cocked her head to the side in response to this statement.

“I am called to be a servant to the God of gods, as we all are,” she said slowly.  “Sometimes I know what that means, and sometimes I do not. But what do you mean, Ku-Aya, when you say I am called to be a servant to mankind?”

“You are what my people call a Potential, my lady. It means we have seen signs that you might be the Chosen One.”

“The Messiah?”  Now her face held a trace of amusement, and I shook my head, for the Judaean word she used had religious overtones that I did not intend.

“Not the Chosen One your people foretell,” I said.  “The One you believe will save the entire world. No, the Chosen One I speak of is called Slayer, and it is always a girl- one girl in all the world, given the strength and skill to stand fast against the forces of darkness.”

She considered this for a moment, then asked, “Who does the choosing, then?  And who the giving?”

“We don’t know how the choosing occurs,” I said with a calm I did not truly feel, “Nor how the power transfers from the fallen Slayer to the newly Called.”

“Don’t you?” she smiled at me oddly.  “It is obvious to me, Ku-Aya, that if such a being as a Slayer exists, a power of good against evil, then it must be the God of gods who chooses her, and who also gives her the power.  But tell me- who are your people? For I thought you were Babylonian.”

“I am, my lady,” I said, “But when I refer to my people I mean the Watchers.  For as long as there has been a Slayer, there have been Watchers, people devoted to watching over them.”

“Surely that is not all you do,” she said dryly.  “For if there is only ever one Slayer at a time, that would leave a great many of you milling about.  And anyway, how is it you ‘watch over’ someone who is divinely blessed with strength and skill?”

“We also train them,” I said defensively.  “Being strong doesn’t do you much good if you don’t know exactly how to kill the beast you’re facing. But you’re right: most of the Watchers don’t have a Potential- usually we are in contact with no more than perhaps two dozen at any given time (although our scryers tell us there are more in lands too distant to contemplate).  The majority of Watchers are devoted to the pursuit and preservation of knowledge.”

At this she nodded.  “Yes, that make sense,” she said.  “And you mentioned your father casting a spell- you must also be students of magic, then.  Eldritch power to complement the physical power of the Slayer.”

Judith Slays Holofernes, Pt VI

It has been some time since I last wrote, primarily because there has been nothing much worth writing about until now.  I decided that rather than spring my ward’s destiny on her right away, I would take the time to become a friend and confident, to build up a foundation of trust between us.  It has been working and, I will say, has been almost… pleasant. She is much as I imagine it might have been to have had a daughter, except I do not (yet) have the troublesome burden of disciplining her.  Not that she has given me- or anyone- cause to discipline her. Her words and deeds are so within the Law (as they Judaeans call their divinely delivered code of conduct) that I overhear the other servants marveling at her discipline.  This discipline gives me great hope, indeed, for her future chances of survival. But it takes more than just discipline of mind and body, more than just the natural instincts she has for grace and strength. She needs actual training, which is today I arranged for her to “accidentally” see some of my scarring.

“Ku-Aya,” she said (and she is always careful to pronounce my name properly) “What happened to your leg?”

I was relieved when she asked- the scars are quite horrible, indeed, but she is so polite I wasn’t certain she would comment.

“It was an injury of my youth, my Lady,” I demurred, but with enough of an opening in my voice to let her know that she might press for more details, should she wish.  And because she is a person who genuinely cares for others, she did.

“What could have made such marks, my dear one?”

I hesitated- not genuinely, but for effect.  “A demon, my lady,” and then I looked away, as though embarrassed to be admitting to such a foolish notion.  But then her warm fingertips caught my chin and brought my eyes to hers.

“Demons are very serious, Ku-Aya.  How did you get away?”

For a moment my heart stopped.  She did not try to deny the existence of demons!  This removed one barrier, at least.

“My people are trained to destroy demons,” I said quietly.  “My father cast a spell that drove it back into the outer darkness, and I used a knife to sever its tentacles before it could drag me along with it.”

I kept my eyes on hers, willing her to ask me more.

“That does not sound like the actions of a servant, Ku-Aya,” she said at last.

“I am called to be a servant to mankind, my lady,” I said.  “And so are you.”

Judith Slays Holofernes, Pt V

Crazy dreams last night and a wonky yoga practice this morning (I am obviously quite off-balance) but at least I got some writing in!  This afternoon is my first-ever volunteer session with Girls, Inc, during which I'll talk about communication between fellow girls/women.  This may end up being useful for this year's NaNo project...

***

Today I actually met my Potential, no table or makeup between us.  It made me realize that my arrival time was even better than anticipated, because I was able to shadow along behind her as she was introduced to the actual running of Massenah’s household, and thereby learn what would and would not be expected of her, and what her schedule would be- the better for me to begin crafting our training schedule around it.  Too, the experience created a bond between us in her mind, two strangers in a new place, and that is something I shall certainly attempt to build on.

But now a description of my ward: I find she is quite serious-minded, which is fortunate, and diligent in her religious studies, which may work either for or against me- we shall see.  She is not completely illiterate, which was a shock to me, but of course she only reads (slowly) Judaean, so I need not fear if she discovers my Diaries. But I don’t believe she would snoop through my things- she does not appear to be the type to whom it would even occur.  She seems kind, and slow to anger (a servant broke a vessel in her presence, but she reacted with patience), and has a quick wit about her (she made us- yes, even me- laugh more than once with her dry observations today). Is it possible I might actually enjoy the time I’m to spend with this Jewess?

Judith Slays Holofernes, Pt IV

Today was a bit of a busy day for me, so writing got done during nap time.

I'm running into a problem with names.  You see, the name "Judith" essentially means "Jewess", so I'd thought to play with that by having my Watcher-narrator only ever refer to her charge as "the Jewess" (this going hand-in-hand with her initial prejudice against Judaeans), but to be frank it's getting awkward and weird.  I'll keep going with it, for now, but I need to figured out a better way to do what I'm trying to do.

***

We could not have timed our arrival better had we tried.

Our small caravan rolled up to the gates not long before sunset, and after the proper documentation was provided, we were ushered into what seemed a city-wide celebration.  This Manasseh must be influential, indeed, to have so many lay aside their work for a day of revelry, merely to celebrate his wedding day. The air was thick with the smell of spices, incense, and honey, and everywhere I looked (for I did look, from between the cracks in the curtain) I saw people laughing, singing, and dancing.  I will admit, there is a certain appeal to the style of song these desert folk engage in- a way of bringing their voices together into a greater whole.  Perhaps there will be some culture to study here, after all.

I got my first glimpse of the Jewess when I was presented to her at the wedding feast: dressed in expensive fabrics; dripping in gold and jewels; hair oiled and styled elaborately; she was undeniably beautiful.  I searched her face- trying not to appear too bold- to see if there was any hint of wit or cunning, two traits I feel are essential to a Slayer’s survival beyond the first month- but she was gilded with so many paints that it was hard to get a true sense of her, beyond her youth.  She did smile at me, and spoke quite a pretty thank you to my “handler”, before Manasseh directed that I be taken back to the house, where I might partake in the servants’ feast.

The food was a surprise.  I had braced myself for a table of unfamiliar dishes of questionable preparation, but I must be strictly honest in these Diaries and the honest truth is that except for the lack of pork I quite enjoyed the meal.

Judith Slays Holofernes, Pt III

I didn't get up early this morning, so instead I'm staying up a bit late to write.  To be completely honest, I spent about an hour doing research to churn out maybe fifteen minutes worth of writing, and writing I'm not over-pleased with, at that.  But I have a bit of a better grounding in the ancient world I'm playing in, now, so I'm sure it will all turn out fine in the end...

***

It is strange to have to play such a passive role.  All my life I’ve been trained to be active- not physically active, perhaps, but mentally so.  I’ve always done the research to find the tools to eradicate the threats. Sometimes that tool was information that was passed along to others, but sometimes it was magic that I myself was perfectly capable of performing.  Now, however, I am expected to sit here like a stone in a storm while all around me documents are forged, bribes are exchanged, and further transportation is arranged. I am to focus on perfecting my Judaean accent, which, frankly, needs no improving, but I think primarily they want me out of the way while the men work.  The agent taking on the role of “old family retainer” spends all his spare moments refining the glamoire that will allow him to present me with no suspicion, and although I attempted to help him adjust his technique to the current moon phase, he dismissed me in no uncertain terms. Oh well, he’s the one who will have squinty-looking eyes.

We are less than a handful of days out from Bethulia, and the travel has been fairly uneventful.  I cannot decide if I am surprised, or not. On the one hand, it seems as though people are always talking about times of war bringing out brigands and such to harass travelers, because they fear no reprisal.  On the other hand, it seems logical to believe that the brigands are just as likely to have been killed in battle as anyone else.

Thinking of battles brings my mind back to Babylon.  How I miss it! Miss it as it was, I mean- full of beauty and art and culture and learning.  The Watcher’s Council had been there for nearly a thousand years- it seems impossible we will not return and help rebuild.  But there are those who mutter that before we were in Babylon, we were in Egypt, and perhaps we should go back, especially now that an Egyptian Slayer has been called.

Fah, enough of such speculation.  Better I turn my mind to Bethulia, and how to inform my ward of her sacred duty.  Because, as serene a face as I gave the Elders when accepting this assignment, the truth is that I have no idea how to convince her of the truth of the world and her role in it.