Jenny O Does CrossFit

More than one person I love is more than a little into CrossFit.  And they have been encouraging me (some of them for years) to try it out.  In fact my brother went so far as to get me a gift certificate for Christmas, so that if I didn't try it out I'd "be plagued by the evil guilt monster of a wasted gift!"  (He has no mercy, that one.)

So I called up CrossFit Epiphany to see what I needed to do, and they said to just come on in- that the first visit would be a non-scary, ten-minute assessment.

Non-scary.  Right.  Gentle readers, I was terrified of CrossFit.  Okay, well, maybe not "terrified", but "intimidated out of my friggin' gourd and kind of wanting to puke with the nervousness of even thinking about going" (not hyperbole, believe it or not).  Because, you see, my loved ones that are all into CrossFit?  Are all super fit.  Which you'd think would argue for the effectiveness of the program, but in reality just causes my ego to scream, "You are not worthy to work out in the presences of such as these!  Judgement!  Judgement!"

But I told ego to suck it up, and tonight I went to my very first class.

It's run by (I inferred) a married couple named Jack and Aubrey.  Aubrey greeted me and when I confessed my nervousness did her best to dispel it.  She was pleased that I had some familiarity with CrossFit already, and gave me a quick tour before warming me up and then showing me some basic movements.  She explained that for the first time I'd do the "Newbie" workout, which is as follows:

(x2)
Pull-ups x10
Push-ups x15
Sit-ups x20
Squats x30

Basically (as my brother put it) setting my baseline.  Now, lest you think I am far more awesome than I am, there was some serious modification going on for all of these motions.  My squats were especially... bizarre.  Apparently my right knee wants to collapse inward, my balance is not what I thought it was, and my hip flexors were stating (loudly) that they Were Not Having It.  But I completed the workout, and immediately afterwards felt more or less like puking myself to death.  This horrible sensation followed me around for about thirty minutes (exacerbated by the fact that I was doing a mad dash around the pet store trying to get everything I need for the puppy before they closed) (it is humbling indeed when your arms are shaking trying to hold up a puppy bed) but eventually I didn't just feel better, I felt great.

Soooo... I'm definitely going back.


And now for your entertainment, have this:

Click to embiggen

(I really did feel like a bad ass rocking out all those "pull-ups".  I don't care that they were mightily-assisted, I still felt like a bad ass.)

(And by the way, I'm pretty sure that I didn't actually make it in under ten minutes, but I forgot to check my time...)