Write the opening of a feature profile on yourself in a men's magazine. Now a business magazine. Now write the first sentence of your obituary.
1. When I first lay eyes on Jenny O in the sun-warmed flesh, all I can think is, Has she always been this short?
2. Jenny O's handshake is as firm as her smile is bright. "They say bitches get shit done," she says, gesturing for me to sit in one of the sleek leather chairs. "I say efficient bitches get shit done faster. So let's get started, shall we?"
3. Jenny O never let the truth get in the way of a good story.*
*yes, the person who writing my obituary will totally riff off the eulogy I wrote for my grandmother.