Blood Drinkers

You may or may not be aware that today is Easter, which is kind of a big deal in Christian circles. As such, Nathan and I put on our go-to-meetin’ clothes and went with Curt and Alana to church (side note: in spite of the fact that I am not, myself, a believer, I find myself almost ridiculously devoted to such old-school commandments as “Thou shalt not bare thy shoulders in the sanctuary, nor shalt thou leave thy hair all loose like a wild heathen girl, regardless of the fact that thou actually art one.”)

It was a pretty good sermon, focusing on (no surprise here) the resurrection of Christ. The preacher could have used some work on some of the secular view-points he was trying to refute (and I am always willing to provide such points for the faithful to practice on) but all in all, not bad. Anyway, I mentioned as much to Nathan, which got us into a conversation regarding Christian apologetics, and the fact that one of the better arguments for Jesus being who he said he was, was the martyrdom of all the apostles (who saw him after his death). All, that is, except for Beloved John.

Apparently Beloved John died alone on an island in the Mediterranean, and when Nate told me as much the whole Storyteller aspect of my Being began to quiver like an excited hound on a particularly delicious scent.

“Or so you think!” I announced. “In reality, John was a vampire who just pretended to die, and has spent the intervening centuries doing what he could to further the faith!” Nathan made one of his Pained Expressions, but I continued- “No, think about it! It’s the only thing that makes sense! How else could Christianity have survived without an immortal element propelling it along, popping up every once in a while to manipulate history! I totally need to write that story…”

“Please don’t write that story,” he said (automatically, I think). Then, a heartbeat later, he grinned and admitted, “Actually that would be kind of good.”

And it totally, totally will.

(Of course, this story with directly contradict the one I wrote in which Jesus was the vampire, but hey- that’s what the Multiverse is for, right?)