Mermaid Bait

I used to think that, thanks to my early-childhood training, I wasn't particularly susceptible to advertisements (Except for pizza, man: I see it, I want it.  Every time.  Every damn time.) And when we entered the age of Facebook and Targeted Advertising, I laughed and laughed, because they never showed me anything even remotely appealing.

But I guess after eight+ years of gathering data, they've finally begun to figure me out, because I suddenly find myself... curious.  Curious enough to... click.

And damned if that doesn't occasionally work out in my favor!

Now, if you are a woman, you know what a pain in the ovaries it can be to find a decent swimsuit, let alone a good one.  And if you are a woman with large breasts, you know that the pursuit of decent (hurr hurr) swimwear becomes even more complex, especially if you are in the habit of doing anything beyond laying perfectly still on the beach.  Which, obviously, I am (in the habit of doing "beyond").  So when Mi Ola popped up in my newsfeed, promising me a bikini that would be comfortable and stay put, I was highly skeptical.

But I clicked.

And lo- they had tops specifically designed for large-breasted (and small-rib-caged) women!  And the reviews were... promising.  And the suits were... well, damn cute.  The price was a bit ulcer-inducing, but since I've recently made the decision to start ponying up good money for good quality (and they promised free returns) I went ahead and bit the bullet.

I was torn between two fabrics, so I let Nathan choose: he chose wisely.

The suit arrived surprisingly fast, but when I pulled it out of the packaging I had a brief moment of, "Yeah.  Friggin'.  Right," because it didn't look like it was going to be able to handle my ladies.  But I tried it on anyway...

...and pods of lovely sirens began singing Glory In the Highest, because damn if everything didn't stay in place and look damn good while doing it!  The top was cut lower than I would usually prefer, but that's because usually I'm having to tug the damn thing up all the damn time, and need to leave a little room for "error".  This one doesn't seem like it's going to have that problem... but I'll report back once I've actually worn it in the water.  The way the straps work was like a miracle, because it didn't put any pressure on my neck (a huge problem for me, normally).  The bottoms were also comfortably snug- you know how when you put on a pair of something and you can just tell it's not going to ride up?  Yeah.  Plus they do this cute ruching thing that accentuates the booty.  Good stuff, sisters.

(Seriously, this thing is so good I'm probably going to order a second one in the near future.)

So!  Sometimes advertising works the way it's supposed to, and everybody wins!  Good job, Targeted Advertising!  I'm Proud!

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