We'll Take the High Road (and Also the Low Road)

The day started out so promising, yet ended up so infuriating.

Our cat-herd left the city around 0800, heading for the rugged beauty of the Highlands. Our first destination was Loch Lomond, which necessarily led to endless repetitions of a certain folk-song. After stopping to take some photos (and in my case, dip my toes in its frigid waters) we followed it up, up, up to the North, with several more photo-stops (and one long stint in a tiny town for half of A Team while Don and Barbara returned to the previous stop in search of a misplaced camcorder).

(Toe dip!)


(The banks really were quite bonny...)


(Nathan got quite a few lovely shots.)


(Doesn't it look inviting?)


(I repeat: bonny.)


(This is not part of Loch Lomond- this is from a waterfall we pulled over to get a good look at.)

Finally we made our way around and back down to the Lowlands, and Stirling, home of the absolutely breathtaking Stirling Castle (itself once home to Robert the Bruce).

(He's kind of a big deal.)

Nathan was busy taking photos, so I made a break for it, and had a good hour or so of solitary wandering about the castle.

(One of the photos he took while I was wandering.)

I eventually found myself in the tapestry-restoration room, which was beyond cool. If I’d been thinking I’d have drawn the women at work (photography is forbidden, as flashes are highly distracting and their work is quite painstaking) but to tell the truth I was so captivated by watching them work that it didn’t even occur to me until later. It was as I was making my way back to the main courtyard that Nathan found me, so we continued our exploration of the castle in a companionable manner. He even re-visited the Great Hall so that I could see the already-finished unicorn tapestries. Good man, that.

(Uuuuunicorn!)

I had really hoped that the gift shop would have a piece of jewelry with the castle’s unicorn logo (preferably like a pendant in silver), but alas it did not (edit: nor was I able to find good unicorn jewelry anywhere in Scotland, which is kind of weird…) It was getting to be about That Time for moving on, so Nathan and I got some ice cream and headed out to the car, where Don, Curt and I noticed that the B Team van seemed to have sprung a flat. So rather than go check out the Wallace Monument (as planned), the three of us got down, dirty, and greasy, and changed that bad boy (my main contribution was figuring out where the spare tire and accessories were, and then how the hell to get at them- also I finagled the original tire back into the spare tire’s spot. Behold my clever problem-solving skills!) By the time we finished it was time to get on the road again, so we bid Stirling a fond fairwell and headed to the Edinburgh airport to return the vans.

Vehicles returned, we humped it over to the bus station, got yelled at by one worker for following the directions of another, and hopped on a double-decker bus that took us into Edinburgh proper, just blocks from the very nice townhouse we are renting for the next few days. Nathan and I (being under fifty, sans child, and un-pregnant) have been relegated to the very top floor, but that’s alright; the amount of meat and fat I’ve been eating over this past week and a half definitely calls for a little extra cardio.

(Our staircase. We went allll the way up.)

He and I were seriously craving some Thai food, so we headed out to a nearby place (recommended by both Lonely Planet and our landlord) called Songkran. It was closed on Sundays, (much to our chagrin) but we made the best of it by walking a little further in search of an Indian place (also recommended by LP) called Omar Khayyam.

Now, normally LP is incredibly reliable. Hell, the restaurant they recommended in Montego Bay was the only thing that salvaged our brief stint in Jamaica. But in this case?

Fail. And I mean epically.

We got there and were seated without much trouble, but after they took our drink orders (water for both of us) it was like we ceased to exist. Finally someone brought us some dipping sauce… but nothing to dip in it. Eventually a different waiter came over and took our food order, and I asked again for our drinks, which we finally got. And then we waited some more. And some more. And our water was gone, and we were still waiting, and I discovered that there was food encrusted on my fork, and we were still waiting. Our food came and I asked politely for another fork and more water. Neither appeared, so I just started eating my curry and rice with my knife. Finally I got up, walked halfway across the restaurant, and asked one of our waiters for a second fork and more water. He brought the fork (still no water), but as I was raising my fork to my mouth for a bite I saw something moving.

Oh yeah, there was a giant ant on my fork.

So, shaking with the famed Jenny O Rage, I marched all the way across the restaurant to the bar (where the waiter, who apparently saw me coming, started putting water onto his tray) held out my fork and said, “I need a new fork.” It took him a moment, but he finally realized what I was showing him. “Also, I think I’ll just take these,” I said, and snatched the waters. I started to head back to the table when a little old man waiter insisted that he carry the waters for me. I wanted to tell him to fuck off, but after all, it wasn’t his fault, so I let him.

My third fork arrived. We finished our mediocre food, and began the long wait for our check. I found myself entertaining vicious thoughts about walking out on it, and had just decided not to (out of sympathy for the cooks who had nothing to do with the service) when Nathan commented that we ought to just leave. I pointed out my cooks argument, and he reluctantly agreed.

It eventually did come, and I noted with anger but no real surprise that there was no sort of apology discount for the bullshit we’d put up with, and I found myself wishing that the UK had a tipping culture so that they would understand the insult I was making by not leaving them a tip. As it is I’ll have to salve my wound by getting on the LP forums and putting up a more recent review.

My current opinion of Edinburg is not good at all.