So today was one of those days on the more manic end of my emotional cycle. I was (to say the least) Restless with a capital R, infused with a sort of borderline panic/desperation, with no identifiable source. It's an unpleasant sensation (as much as I'm familiar with it at this point in my life), but it signifies that I need to do something- generally create something- or I'll implode. As such, I started scripting out a comic that's been percolating in my brain for close to three years. I'm not certain how well, exactly, that sort of thing will translate to this sort of thing (this sort of thing being blogging), but it's what I wrote so here it is. I'm a little loathe to post this, because even though obviously everything I post on here is in rough-draft form, this is like super-ultra rough, without even the benefit of my thumbnail sketches to help show you what's going on (I don't do a particularly detailed script when I'm the artist, 'cos the descriptions are already in my head). It may be that in the future I will decide to make this blog either/or regarding writing/art, but for now we're sticking with the written part. It may or may not make any sense to you, especially my shorthand.
(Also, I must warn you- this "short snippet" takes up almost seven word processor pages, so if you're brave enough to bother reading any further than this, there will be a lot of scrolling involved...)
PAGE ONE
Panel One: The exterior of a large book/music store (NOBLE EDGES) at night.
NAR: Like many good love stories, this one begins in a book store. Also like many love stories (both good and bad) the narration concludes in an airport...
Panel Two: tighten field to front window, hazy view of info desk
NAR: ..but we'll worry about that when we get there. For now, let us focus on the bookstore, and the players who are even now about to meet in a manner most cute.
Panel Three: info desk, a girl at a computer, a man (Co-Worker) walking up to her
CW: Hey EDIE, I need you to check on something for me.
Panel Four: EDIE has turned to look at CW, questioning look on her face. CW is gesturing over his shoulder with a thumb
CW: I need you to go talk to that guy in music.
Panel Five: EDIE leans over to look
Panel Six: music is deserted, save for a nice-looking young man listening to music, wearing an over-sized coat
Panel Seven: EDIE looks back at CW, confused.
EDIE: Um, sure.
PAGE TWO
Panel One: CU on the young man, who is taking off the headphones.
Panel Two: Same angle (further back), but EDIE pops up in the background. She is considerably shorter than the boy.
Panel Three: Boy gets suspicious look on his face, eyes shift to left. EDIE grinning like a damn fool.
Panel Four: Boy startled, EDIE grinning
EDIE: Hi!
PIRE: Ack!
Panel Five: EDIE looking contrite, PIRE still vaguely heart-attack-y
EDIE: Oh I’m sorry! I was just wondering if I could help you with anything.
Panel Six: PIRE is straightening up
PIRE: Oh, well, yes, actually.
PAGE THREE:
Panel One: PIRE is holding out a few cds, EDIE is looking at them
PIRE: I was trying to decide which of these I want to blow my meager horde of cash on. Any recommendations?
Panel Two: EDIE making a “Hmm” sort of face, considering the selection
EDIE: Hmmm…
Panel Three: EDIE pointing to them.
EDIE: To be honest, I’ve never heard of these guys. THIS album is pretty decent, but THIS one…
Panel Four: CU of CD (The Eraser), w/EDIE’S finger
EDIE: …THIS one is amazing
Panel Five: CU on EDIE’S face as she grows glowy-eyed, looking particularly attractive
EDIE: This one sounds like what falling in love FEELS like- sort of terrible and wonderful and frightening all at once, like you have no control- you just have to be taken by it.
PAGE FOUR
Panel One: CU of PIRE, looking stunned
Panel Two: PIRE shakes himself
Panel Three: the two of them looking at one another
PIRE: Well…
Panel Four: still looking at one another, but PIRE with a goofy grin
PIRE: …that sounds pretty good.
Panel Five: EDIE grinning back at him
EDIE: Oh it is.
PAGE FIVE
Panel One: EDIE ringing PIRE up
PIRE: Thanks for the input.
EDIE: You’re very welcome!
Panel Two: EDIE watches him leave.
Panel Three: EDIE still staring after him
EDIE: Huh.
Panel Four: EDIE leaves the register.
Panel Five: Back at the info desk, EDIE leans casually against the counter. CW, focuses on the computer
EDIE: So, uh, why did you want me to talk to him?
CW: I thought he might be a shop-lifter.
Panel Six: EDIE looks shocked, CW withering
EDIE: What?! Holy crap, I didn’t even think of that. I just thought you were being nice by pointing out a cute guy.
CW: Um, no. Great as my middle-managerial power is, it does not extend to match-making.
Panel Seven: EDIE looks rueful, CW disgusted
EDIE: Well… definitely not a shop-lifter. But definitely cute.
CW: Snort.
PAGE SEVEN
Panel One: NOBLE EDGES again, with a car screeching to a halt in front
NAR: some weeks later…
Panel Two: EDIE clambering out of the passenger-side door
EDIE: thankyouthankyouthankyoucrapcrapcrap!
Panel Three: Birds-eye of the store, EDIE leaving a trail as she zips through to the back
EDIE: latelatelatesorrysorrysorryheythere!crapcrapcraphow’sitgoing?CRAP…
Panel Four: PIRE, looking at a book
Panel Five: PIRE, startled, wind-blown, as EDIE streaks by
EDIE:latelatelate…
PAGE EIGHT
Panel One: PIRE looks after the streak
PIRE TB: …was that…?
Panel Two: CU on EDIE clocking in at :05 past
Panel Three: EDIE, triumphant
EDIE: MADE IT!
Panel Four: CW handing EDIE her lanyard, but she is looking distracted
CW: I will pretend I did not witness that
EDIE TB: Wait, did I just see…
Panel Five: EDIE looking around the corner- but no PIRE
Panel Six: EDIE makes determined face.
Panel Seven: EDIE looks around another corner- she cannot see that PIRE is behind her
Panel Eight: Repeat
PAGE NINE
Panel One: EDIE walking up to the info desk, looking disgruntled. CW is already there, working.
Panel Two: EDIE looks thoughtful. CW continues to work.
Panel Three: EDIE looks at CW from the corner of her eyes.
Panel Four: EDIE bursts out, CW looks freaked
EDIE: I think that Shoplifter guy is here!
Panel Five: CW looks angry enough to kill someone, EDIE taken aback
CW: What?! Where! I swear if that punk takes any more manga…
EDIE: What? No, no, not an ACTUAL shoplifter- that cute guy you THOUGHT was a shoplifter.
Panel Six: now CW is confused, EDIE sheepish
CW: …huh?
EDIE: A few weeks ago? The music department? You told me to go talk to him?
Panel Seven: EDIE still all sheepish grin, CW annoyed.
EDIE: I’m pretty sure it’s the same guy.
CW: Ooookay.
PAGE TEN
Panel One: They continue to exchange Looks
Panel Two: EDIE whirling away, grabbing a lone book. CW rolling eyes
EDIE: I’m going to go shelve!
CW (UNDERTONE): AKA “stalk”
Panel Three: EDIE walking down an aisle, looking hopefully to the left…
Panel Four: ..and to the right
Panel Five: EDIE looking down at the book in her hand, scowling, but in the background PIRE’S head has popped up.
EDIE: Grumble.
Panel Six: EDIE is shelving a book, PIRE trying to look nonchalant as he approaches.
EDIE (UNDERTONE): Make room, you!
PAGE ELEVEN
Panel One: EDIE turns to her right and sees PIRE, they face one another, looking startled.
Panel Two: EDIE stands and they face one another
EDIE: I’m sorry, I know maybe this sounds crazy, but are you the one…
PIRE: (overlapping her) YES!
Panel Three: They break into embarrassed laughter.
PAGE TWELVE
Panel One: Both blushing, EDIE trying to appear alluring as she looks up at PIRE
EDIE: Well alright then.
Panel Two: EDIE tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, PIRE is grinning like a maniac.
EDIE: Um, did you like-
PIRE: YES!
Panel Three: EDIE looks a little taken aback, PIRE mortified.
PIRE: I mean, you were right. It was very good. Definitely worth my time.
Panel Four: EDIE smiles at him tentatively
EDIE: I’m glad you thought so.
Panel Five: They continue to smile like idiots at one another
Panel Six: EDIE starts to look a little uncomfortable, PIRE looks blurt-y
EDIE: Sooo…
PIRE: …I need a book!
PAGE THIRTEEN
Full Page: EDIE is grinning up at PIRE, who is looking inordinately pleased
EDIE: Well you’re in luck. You just so happen to be in Noble Edges, home to both music AND books, and I just so happen to be phenomenally good at my job. Which is telling you what’s worth your time.
PIRE: A skill you have already proven in the music half of the store.
EDIE: That I have. What kind of book do you need?
PIRE: It’s a gift, for my sister’s birthday.
EDIE: What’s your sister into?
PIRE: I’m not sure, exactly- but I know her sense of humor is like mine.
EDIE: Oh? And what kind of a sense of humor are you in possession of?
PIRE: Undoubtedly twisted.
PAGE FOURTEEN
Panel One: CU of EDIE, making a Thinking Face
EDIE: Hmmm
Panel Two: CU of EDIE’S A-Ha face
EDIE: I know!
Panel Three: EDIE reaches for PIRE’S arm, looking determined. He looks surprised but happy
EDIE: Come with me!
Panel Four (long): She drags him through the bookstore
EDIE: Nope, nope, nope
Panel Five: They are standing beneath a sign that says “Humor”, EDIE making a thoughtful face, PIRE still looking pleased
EDIE: Gorey, Gorey Gorey…
Panel Six: EDIE finds the book
EDIE: HERE it is!
Panel Seven: EDIE presents PIRE with a book, he looks down
Panel Eight (inset): CU on the book
PIRE: “The Gashlycrumb Tinies”?
From your warning I thought I was going to be in for a lot of scrolling. Wasn't bad, actually, when I got to the end I wanted more. So I guess that's a good thing.
ReplyDeleteThanks! An author couldn't ask for more positive feedback than "I want more!" Also, I guess there's probably more scrolling involved on my tiny netbook than on a full-sized computer monitor! ;)
ReplyDelete