6.07.2011

Wishing I Could Be My Own Reader

So I'm up over 73k words, and I've got to say... I'm really, really sick of my story.  Isn't that horrible?  But I want nothing so much as to take a three-month break from it.  I've just been up to my eyeballs in these characters and their exploits for the past six or seven months and... I want to work on other stuff!  I want it to be done!  But it won't be done until I finish writing it, and if I go wandering off to chase new story seeds I won't get around to finishing it... bleh.  The truth is, I'm afraid I've ruined my own story for myself.  I'll never ever be able to read it as a reader: for the rest of eternity, no matter how much I refine it, I am certain that I will continue to see ways to make it better.  What a horrifying thought.  But I suppose it's in no way a unique one: probably most writers get sick of their projects, and rue the fact that they'll never be able to just enjoy them.   But I also suppose that makes writers awfully grateful to other writers, who kindly keep providing them with stories that they don't have to do anything to but read.

(At this particular moment I'm feeling said gratitude for Robin McKinley, specifically for The Blue Sword.)

Plus I've also swung away from the, "Hot damn I am such an excellent writer!" end of the spectrum back towards, "No one will ever willingly read this drivel!" which is certainly not helping the process.  But I'm pretty sure my upcoming break will fix that (truly, I only have about four more major tweaks that need to happen before I read through it all again- and find more tweaks- and then send it off for Round Two of Feedback).  Nothing like stepping away from something for a few months to refresh your perspective on it.

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